Right then, just back. Fantastic ten days in the Black Forest. Great beer, great sausages?. What else could a man ask for? So then, has anything happened in my absence?
We lost by how much??. Mmm, not quite to plan was it?!
We then won by how much??. OK, bit of an improvement!
The board then did… WHAT?!
Pretty normal few days all in all then!
Right then, it's confession time. Now, over the last three years it may have become apparent to our six readers that Stan is more than one person. Admittedly, it's a great get-out clause when colours have been nailed to the mast, only for the argument to be proved imbecilic a few days/weeks/months (delete as appropriate) later,
'No, no, no? that wasn't me that said John Otsemobor was a the best right back this club has ever had – it was one of the other Stans!'
However, at present it is undeniable that Stan, much like the rest of the Canary Nation, is split asunder about what's gone wrong, why it has so, and how on earth we're going to get out of this almighty mess.
One Stan has ripped his shirt open, bared his chest and beat it Tarzan style? 'Come on, this is City, where are yer? Let's be havin' yer.'
Another Stan has taken up marathon running, donned his cricketing whites and refused to acknowledge the season is upon us.
Whilst this one has joined a pilates class, started to burst into tears in company and has woken up in a night-sweat screaming 'John Bond, I still love you? please don't leave!'
So what on earth can you say about the last ten days?? No, seriously; where do you start?
Colchester at home? Undoubtedly a fluke result, but totally inexcusable on every level.
Yeovil away? Fluke result, but signs of progress and potentially a new 'Big Man' hero in our midst.
Gunn's sacking? Err… I thought it was a wind up!
Stan thinks it's fair to say that the treatment meted out to Gunny in the last few days probably hasn't left him in the mood to do much waving, unless it involves the 'Wes salute!' type wave, because regardless of opinions of Bryann Gunn as a manager few would deny that the timing and manner of his departure was shoddy.
Even fewer would deny that he's anything other than a good man.
Admittedly there's no nice way to be sacked, but somehow the events of Friday were very much the wrong way to treat a good man. It's even more baffling that all this has happened within a club so hell-bent on doing things the 'right' way over the last 15 years…
'We're in the third division but make no mistake, Norwich City FC is going to heaven?.'
Or at least we were until the events that unfolded at some point in the afternoon of Friday the 14th August, 2009!
In all honesty, looking back is futile now. 'Colchester home' has happened; 'Gunngate' has happened and once more the club, and Stan(s) – all three of us – stand at a crossroads. Actually make that stands naked in the middle of Spaghetti Junction in rush-hour…
For what it's worth Stan (all three) remain entirely unconvinced by the Boothroyd clammerings. It's a style thing as well as a lack of conviction in the record that set the alarm bells ringing.
Dowie? Maybe. Robins? Not sure, probably needs another step up the ladder before taking on the hornet's nest that is NCFC.
Scunthorpe boss Nigel Adkins' name popped up in despatches today. Yep, that one works if only for the 'Well, he's worked for a club with only one ### in it, now he's got to work with 11…', jokes that can follow!
Flimmy Jjoyd Hasselhoff? Oh, please!
'Wee' Gordon? Could never work with some of the egos in the dressing room after managing 'little 'ol' Celtic!
Only time will tell who's next for the City ejector seat, but whoever it may be, good luck, the County of Norfolk expects!
Now then, was there anything else? Ah yes, 'Exeter away' decent result in Stan's opinion, and in all honesty doesn't that statement just about say it all?
It's no use, it's all too depressing; this Stan's off for a beer and a sausage… Line 'em up kellner'!