Well, we all know by now that Villa have joined us in the Promised Land. In my personal view, it should have been Leeds as they finished third but that isn’t how the football world works these days. More’s the pity.
But out of the four teams involved in the (truly) dreaded play-offs, clever old me said on MFW more than once that Villa would win through before a ball had been kicked.
My Villan mate Pat is probably still trying to find a train to get back to Norwich to resume his barbering for gain role in life.
Plus the mob from Villa Park have a trio of alleged billionaires on board to “help” them through next season. I doubt Pat and many thousands of others are too disappointed about that.
We (as in NCFC) will cope.
Moving on, every single member of the Canary Nation will recall our promotion sides and the individuals who featured therein.
Somewhat perversely I thought I’d take time out to mention some of our less-remembered players – and we’d love to hear our readers’ recollections of them as they may well be different to mine
I’ll start with a couple of keepers. Scott Howie who was basically Gunny and Andy Marshall’s deputy who didn’t play much but never let us down when he did. And the excellent occasional Radio Norfolk contributor that is Mark Walton – he played a similar role to Howie.
On to the defence: we had a couple of under-height centre halves (as they were called back in the day). Paul Blades – who had hair like Sting – and Simon Charlton, who had very little more hair then than I have now.
It was never going to work in either case, and frankly it didn’t.
Nor did Thomas Helveg.
Of course, we also had Victor Segura – the only thing I remember about him was that he played against 1p5wich, got injured in a head clash and came back on bandaged for about five minutes until (physio) Tim Sheppard hauled him off.
Then there was Erik Fugelstad – a Norwegian lad who seemed very popular with most of us at the time but played in such a dark era for City that I doubt he is well remembered.
Jurgen Colin? Our terriers could outrun him over 90 minutes. And possibly have more skill.
And that Papa Diop character whose only achievement I can remember was to be sent off for spitting at an opponent.
I nearly forgot the invisible man, aka Matthieu Louis-Jean, who we acquired from Forest. He might have played for us once, although I cannot recall if he ever actually did so.
Moving swiftly into midfield (not that anybody I’ve mentioned so far could actually do that) I must begin with Julien Brellier, who Hearts fans called Le Juge. They even donated their club banner featuring him to the Barclay, correctly surmising they would have no further use for it. And nor did we.
Brellier himself later remarked that he could not pass the ball any further than ten metres and could not cope with the then Division Two.
Andy Hughes and Matty Pattison? I’m not going there in either case. Hopefully one or more of our readers will. but I’m not up for it – I don’t like to swear on MFW.
Now on to the forwards.
I absolutely have to start with Dave Striker. Sorry, I mean David Strihavka. He was on a par with Dean Coney and that’s saying something. Alan Gow? Oh dear me. Unfunny jokes, all three.
Then there was Ulf Ottossen, the Swedish guy who always turned his back when the goal opened up in front of him. And Henrik Mortensen who ran his socks off but achieved nothing until his unfortunate injury more or less put him out of the game for good.
With an honourable exception for the largely excellent Mattias Svensson, we’ve finally found a Scandinavian striker that truly fits the bill. Haven’t we Teemu?
You’ll notice I haven’t used words such as Husband, Franke, (careless) Hansbury, Wildschut or Naismith. I can’t even spell Theoklitos, can I Bryan?
MFW would love to hear from absolutely anybody who can remember greater failures than these – Fugelstad excepted – he just played in a very bad side.
And, especially as Villa gave us a very gracious guard of honour and their supporters always seem decent when they come to the Carra. Congrats to them.
How about Gerry Howshall? Signed from WBA In front of supporters at a club social i believe for 25k but injuries and a loss of confidence finished him.
Muzinic was a howler of a signing by John Bond.
For me the worst signings we ever made came under Bryan Hamilton (our worst manager ever?) in the shape of Derveld and De Waard. Now they were seriously bad.
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You beat me to it with Derveld and De Waard. Hamilton apparently thought they were Thyssen and Muhren….
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I’m embarrassed that I left out Derveld and De Waard. “Seriously bad” doesn’t really touch the sides on reflection.
Sure I remember them, but I’ve tried to obliterate the entire Hamilton tenure from my memory tbh. And I’d guess I’m not alone in that.
Muzinic I recall all too well but I missed out on 99 per cent of the 1970s as I was living and working in London, so Howshall means nothing to me.
Thanks guys both.
ps it won’t be long before someone mentions Sibierski!
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Sibierski 😉
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He he!
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Simon Tracey…… still have flashbacks listening to the radio commentary of ‘that’ game.
Brian McGovern. Remember watching him get hauled off at half-time. Don’t think he was ever spotted again.
Steve Walsh. Now where did all those pies go.
Raymond De Waard. Signed from watching a video. Well done Hamilton.
Antoine Sibierski. Watched his debut away at Plymouth. Did not like to run very far or fast.
My Uni years at UEA – 98-01 were dark times indeed for us. Thankfully, apart from a Roeder inspired blip we’ve moved on as a club a long way since then.
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Hi Martin
Sibierski – ha! (See reply to Richard and Stewart above before I’d read yours).
Walsh looked like he ate more pies in a week than I could manage in a year.
Tracey – I was actually at the ground for that incident and thus didn’t hear the commentary. I presume it was dear old Roy Waller?
I too went to the UEA – I’m pretty certain the vice-Chancellor was glad to see the back of me. Said individual would have still been there in your day for sure:-)
Thanks for a great post.
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Brian McGovern scored a goal at Tranmere which effectively kept us up – he was a cult icon… for a short time.
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Yeah I recall it well, good goal. Didn’t he run from in our half and smack it in?
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That’s certainly how I remember it!!
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Fatty Hartson….
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Hi Dan
Yeah he didn’t do a great deal for us and that’s for sure!
Mind you at that time he was probably carrying the early stages of that most awful of diseases and probably wasn’t even aware of that himself.
I’m glad he appears to have made a full recovery.
Somebody else who would fall into the “nice guy but past it” category.
Thank you.
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If we’re allowed loaners and taking players at face value, while they played, then Jan Molby. I think the centre spot at Carrow Road is still recovering from the continuous trampling it got during his brief spell. Legend at Liverpool, Laggard at city!
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Hi James
A very accurate assessment.
I left him off my list simply because he could still pick a pass and although a Dane he sounded more Scouse than Rooney, which always made me laugh.
He was no whippet and that’s for sure!
Thank you.
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On the same lines as Walsh, what about Tony Cottee?
Walsh cost (from memory) about £250,000 per minute played, in wages. Cottee scored 1 goal from about an inch that cost us circa 1/2 million?
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Hi BB.
Yep and yep.
I’d actually forgotten about Cottee which kind of confirms the validity of your comment!
When he played alongside Frank MacAvennie at West Ham though he was mustard.
We managed to get a few players at the tail end of their careers who were fantastic for us – Martin Peters and Mick Channon being the obvious two.
Sadly Cottee (and indeed Walsh) had gone to seed.
Thank you.
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I witnessed Channons debut at Ipswich at Christmas 1982. My favourite game of all time. The most raucous and rowdy support ever to follow City away. Thousands were there and we won 3-2 thanks to a Martin o’neill free kick at the death. That moment is second only to the birth of my children for pure, unadulterated joy.
Channons didn’t score but looked sharp. A coup,e of days later a bumper crowd witnessed his home debut. He scored the winner against Luton.
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I was there at that game, and watched from behind as the injury time goal went in. one of the great moments against Ipswich, and God knows there have been plenty.
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For duds, Akinbiyi, and Beckford.
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Louis-Jean was a decent player but got injured in his second game (according to Flown from the Nest) and never recovered, much like Jarvis. In the early days of the club’s official message board he got a lot of stick for being “sicknote” – the perception was that he was happy to be permanently injured and drawing money for doing nothing. Personally I doubt if that’s the case with any player, although there are clearly some who have more determination to overcome adversity than others.
Something similar happened to Neil Emblen who didn’t even manage to complete his first game before being stretchered off.
It’s easy to name dud players from the 3 or 4 years before Worthington acquired Huckerby and co, and also for the end of his reign and the Grant/Roeder era.
For me the biggest duds are earlier ones who actually cost a lot of money – notably Mike Sheron and Darren Beckford. I think the latter’s most memorable contribution was an emergency keeper.
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Hi Keith
I met Darren Beckford a few times as he used to walk his dog on Blofield Rec (home of Blofield United) when I lived in the village.
One day he got a bit of (very) light-hearted banter from one Curly, the village comedian.
Curly said Beckford couldn’t expect to walk into Blofield United’s first team but would have to start in the Reserves. It really was that innocent but Umbridge was taken.
He (Beckford) never returned to said Rec after that to my knowledge.
Mind you in possibly his last game at Carrow Road he got a hat-trick against Everton if my memory serves me well. It doesn’t always so I could be wrong!
Thanks again.
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He did indeed score a hat trick in a 4-3 win over Everton Martin. A week before the FA cup semi final from which he was suspended due to being sent off for the reserves. Bloody typical of our luck in that competition.
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Hi Chris
After our farcical performance against Sunderland in the semi at Hillsborough I’ve always had a soft spot for the FA Cup.
A bog in Felthorpe Woods.
Thank you.
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I was level with Byrnes headed winner. He was offside.
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I think with Louis-Jean he looked completely out of it when he did play for us, he kept getting caught out of position and Andy Hughes was then dragged back from midfield to cover. Hughes wasn’t great but he had the misfortune to start his Norwich career covering for someone else. Whatever caused Louis-Jean to be so bad I don’t know, maybe he was carrying a bad injury maybe it was psychological but I don’t think he played again
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The most expensive failure in all my time following city RVW
don’t know if he was not given a chance or just could adapt to English football at the time.
Kyle Lafferty
Harry Kane – but look at him now
Jacob Butterfield
James Vaughan – too many injuries but has had a career
Mike Sheron
Mark Fotheringham
Goran Matic
Darren Beckford
Patrick Bamford.
This is a bit of a cheat as I was doing an who had the worst players with my wife and her list for Man U was much bigger – it had the whole team from this season.
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Hi Alex
A cracking list with nary a mistake in it.
Goran Matic is the only one I can’t really recall.
I’ve got one of James Vaughan’s old training tops – don’t ask me how or why – but I guess he didn’t utilise it too much while he was here.
Surprisingly I’m only eleven stone and it’s very tight on me.
One of my Arsenal mates probably feels a little like your wife. Talk about seeing a grown man cry!
Thank you.
Goran
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Marić joined Norwich City on trial in the summer of 2009, touring with the club during its pre-season in Scotland and scoring twice in three games, against Airdrie United and St Johnstone. Afterwards, manager Bryan Gunn confirmed he had been impressed well enough to offer the player a contract,[4] with the one-year deal being signed on 30 July.[5]
Marić made his official debut for the Canaries against Yeovil Town, for the campaign’s Football League Cup, appearing as a substitute. His first start came in the 2009–10 Football League Trophy against Brentford (1–0 win)[6] but he was almost always fifth-choice during his spell, behind the habitual Grant Holt and Chris Martin but also Jamie Cureton and Cody McDonald; subsequently, he left the side after his link was terminated by mutual consent, on 3 December 2009.[7]
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No one has mentioned RVW. Has to be rated a flop but I wonder how he’d have done in this team.
Mark Fotheringham and Ian Murray-oh dear!
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Hi Don – the perfect hat-trick!
As Keith B says above if they cost excess money it makes it worse.
RvW was a deliberate omission on my part – too obvious a target!
Some gossip floating around at the time when he “stubbed his toe” was the tale of a specialist sports psychiatrist (hired by the club just for him) and the style of a manager which had drained every grain of confidence from him.
Nobody reveals their sources but a mate who I’d trust with my life and lived near RvW at the time told me much more than I’m prepared to post on MFW!
Cheers mate and keep reading us over the summer.
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Given that it is only an unsubstantiated rumour and provided it is written so as not to be libelous – then why on earth not!?!
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Hi MGW.
This is one rumour that I could possibly substantiate should push come to shove so I’ll stick my neck out a little further.
The then club doctor used to frequent the same watering hole as a few of my mates. He let it slip that while a certain striker was publicised as having a foot injury he was in fact mentally destroyed by his early experience of Colney.
The phrase “the young toe stubber of Olde Amsterdam” was allegedly used.
That’s yer lot!
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Blimey, there are some real crackers amongst that lot. Personally I recall a Scottish full back, signed on a free naturally, who made his debut against Bury or some such in the league cup and was directly responsible for at least two of their three first half goals. He eventually buggered off back to Scotland muttering about lack of opportunity. Dreadful player, can’t remember his name.
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I think that’s Ian Murray
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That’s the one! His name suddenly came to me whilst driving earlier. He was dreadful,
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Hi Chris
That rings a large bell with me too.
For a moment I thought you meant Stephen Whittaker until I remembered that his interchange with Nathan Redmond had Boro seen off at Wembley after around 20 minutes.
Buggered if I remember the player’s name either!
Unless Carl Bradshaw was a Scot, which I doubt.
Thank you.
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Hello Martin. Dons nailed him. Ian Murray. From Hibs I believe.
I actually had a lot of time for Whittaker, he gave some decent service.
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Of the bad things he did Glenn Roeder did one thing that I still remember, bringing John Kennedy down from Celtic on loan. He was a bit of a jewel. I can vaguely recall thinking how did he get him. Think poor old Kennedy suffered a career ending injury while down here. Although would be not surprised if I was wrong.
Of course he also brought us Ched Evans Martin Taylor .
I still haven’t and probably never will forgive him the treatment he dished out to Hucks. I was at Sheffield Wed when Dion called it a day, Hucks was walking around the pitch at the end looking lost as hell.
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Hi Lad
Roedent could never cope with any confident player with a bit of an ego – Hucks and the Spice Boys (Micky Spillane and Chris Martin) are perfect examples.
I was at the shareholders’ meeting where he belittled a guy who asked a legitimate question by saying ” I seem to have missed your tenure as England manager” or something similar.
At that point I walked out – as did quite a few others – and I’ve never been back since. It was SO embarrassing.
Anyway my (very) few shares are now in the safe hands of the Canaries Trust.
I too remember Kennedy who suffered the same fate as a guy called McNeil who was forced off by blue-shirted thugs from South London on his debut and quite possibly never played professional football again as a result.
Thanks as always.
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John O’Neill I think, Martin, signed from Leicester? It all ended well though cos we signed Linighan soon after to replace him, and got a much better player
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Thanks Dan.
Spot on.
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HiMartin….
Nobody has mentioned Marley Watkins……but we got him for free, and sold him on to Bristol City for almost the same amount we paid for Emi Buendia….
So, Watkins was a flop, but Buendia……..probably the (current) most under-rated Premier League player…
O T B C
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Hi John
Anyone who sports Yellow knows how to rate Emi Buendia!
It might take an adjustment period but I would back that lad in the PL like I would our terriers against several rats!
I simply cannot believe Mr Johnson paid that amount for Watkins. But he did so it’s history.
Thank you.
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Me and my buddy regularly play ‘forgotten man’ tennis.
How about, in recent times anyway, these chestnuts –
Carlos Cuellar
Ignasi Miguel
Jos Hooiveld
Johan Elmander
Joseph Yobo
Jonás Gutiérrez
Miguel played, what, like 1 cup game for us? Hooiveld a few more and shipped out to Millwall. Brilliant squad retention… 😉
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A fine speech Hillary – your selections are really orginal
Elmander was gruse, poor old Jonas was going down the same route as Hartson. Again I doubt he knew at the time but again I’m really pleased he seems to be okay.
Cuellar and Miguel I’ll choose to draw a huge veil over.
I genuinely have no recollection of Hooiveld.
Yobo didn’t seem that particularly bad, although at times he reminded me of my grandad – and he apparently died in 1934. Not Joseph Yobo, my grandad.
An excellent list – thank you.
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How about Patrick Boyle, left back from Everton. Also Simon Whaley i think from Preston. Couple of shockers.
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Richard you’ve hit the jackpot there.
Boyle I cannot recall but Whaley???
Probably the worst player we’ve ever had. Allegedly a winger he struggled to move. Forwards, backwards or sideways.
I remember him with no affection whatsoever.
If there were a prize for best suggestion I’d present it to you here and now.
But we’re MFW and we don’t do silverware.
Cracking pick:-)
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Love this.
I don’t think I’ll ever recover from seeing Keith Scott up front for us against Charlton on my 16th birthday. Eadie consistently bombing down the left, crossing dangerous balls into the box only for Big Keith to consistently miss the ball in the box. We had Neil Adams on the right too. I believe Big Keith was swapped for mike Sheron who was rubbish for us but like George Weah for Stoke.
I also remember Ulf Otteson’s only goal to win us the match in the mid 90s against sheff u. I remember thinking at the time How big Ulf must’ve been pinching himself at the concept of him playing in a football team including David Rocastle who was on loan to us at the time.
Big Ulf and Big Keith were still better than the dreadful Peter Thorne though, who was so bad that he nearly retired after 2 yrs of woeful performances for us..He didn’t and subsequently went on to have a reasonable time of it at Bradford.
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Hi Sean
I believe we signed Thorne to set up chances for Robert Earnshaw (both from Cardiff) back in the day. It didn’t work as you so rightly say.
We have dogs not donkeys but if we ever acquired one we would definitely call it Thorne.
Keith Scott is somebody else I should have mentioned. He was the proverbial one-legged man at a butt-kicking party.
I remember Rocky too but would not include him on a useless list.
Thank you – it’s amazing how many disasters you forget over 50 years!
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Arturo Lupoli..fearsome reputation of years of banging them in for arsenal reserves and a fearsome reputation of definitely not being able to do that in the English Championship.
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Agreed!
He had all the output of a birthday cake candle.
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Before most people’s time but saw George Waites from Orient run ing rings round Ron Ashman on a mudbath at Carrow Road a d we signed him for £250000 I think. He was absolutely dreadful for us. Such high expectations such dreadful failure!
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Hi Adrian
Before my time indeed – that was a helluva fee in those days, certainly for us.
Thank you.
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What about Luciano Becchio?
He must be a candidate!
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Hi Mike
Something was wrong there from day one. I don’t even know why Hughton (I guess) signed him in the first place.
Apart from a lovely lay-off for Jonny Howson against West Brom he did absolutely seven tenths of bugger all.
A good choice..
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Drazen Muzinic anyone? Top player for Hajduk Split and Yugoslavia, and Norwich’s then record signing. It really didn’t happen for him in England.
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Hi John
I didn’t get to see much of City during the brief Muzinic era and I can only remember seeing him play once.
My buddies, to a man and woman, tell me he was truly dreadful.
Thank you.
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….and lets not forget the great hope from the MLS – we even wrote a song about him…..Kei Kamara and here is a link to his tribute song (as if you could forget!) https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/av/football/21631550
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Ha!
I think Kamara’s personality was such that most of us forgave his lack of productivity.
Never met him myself but friends did and said he was a truly lovely character.
Thank you.
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Going to throw a few more at you…
Garry Brady and Jim Whitley…
Trevor Benjamin
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Hi Martin
On first glance I thought you’d posted Gary Brook, who wasn’t that bad!
Somebody once said they’d rather have {Playschool presenter} Floella Benjamin on the pitch than Trevor. PC was in its infancy back then!
I missed out on Jim Whitley.
Thanks.
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Another one for you – Jeff Whitley. His brother is now performing as Sammy Davis Jnr, Dean Marney has just sprung into my mind for some unknown reason, as well as Clint Easton & David Bentley
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David Bentley is a good hit. Absolutely flippin’ useless.
Clint Easton wasn’t that bad imo. Our Malky said he took a great corner – something about telling him which eyebrow to put it on and Easton would generally oblige.
Don’t remember Marney.
Thanks.
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The son of Kenny, one Paul Dalglish, how slow was he!
Ive always thought I could spot a player and didn’t rate Harry Kane on his brief tour of duty either., but I liked Adrian Coote!
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Hi Colin
I’ll see your Adrian Coote and raise you an Ade Akinbyi!
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So 55 comments about crap players. How many of you have pulled on a shirt and played professional football? A couple perhaps? These boys were aspiring to reach a pinnacle of football which is out of reach for most of us. Most failed, some went on to some success. At least they did their best. Better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.
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and I’ll gladly tell KDB “You’re $hit and you know you are” 🙂
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Ha!
Man City always give us stick when they rock up here.
Their response to “we love you Paul McVeigh” was excellent but I wouldn’t dare repeat it on MFW.
Mind you they might have less fond memories of Jonny Howson!
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Hi Geoff
No I’ve never played professional football. In fact at two of the clubs I’ve played for we had to pay a couple of quid a week to train.
I understand where you’re coming from but I think if you’ve ever played at a reasonable level you’re entitled to an opinion.
I was also in a couple of bands back in the day – both punk. My guitar playing was so bad that I was off the radar in the live mix – just like Richey in the Manics and a couple of others.
That didn’t mean I couldn’t make a semi-informed judgement of a “proper” band though. Occasionally I was even paid for so doing.
I get your point totally – but if we couldn’t share our views in a critical fashion about football and music where would we be?
Thanks a lot – good comment.
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These comments prove yet again, what a gamble signing players really is.
look at Fergies record, made many bad ones, but completely overlooked, as the team were successful.
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Hi Ken
Totally agree with you.
For every Pukki there’s a Watkins:-)
Thank you.
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Owain Tudor-Jones
Carlo Nash
Omar Koroma
Jon Otsemobor
Chris Killen
Jonatan Johannsen
Kevin Harper
Elvis Hammond
Keith Briggs
Chris Brown
Peter Thorne
Dejan Stefanovic
David Carney
Adrian Leijer
Stuart Nelson
Guatano Guillianza
Paul Crichton
Stephen Hughes
Steven Smith
Jens Berthel Askou
Just some forgotten folks from Canary-past….
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Hi Matthew
That’s a great list – and some of the players on it were by no means dreadful either
Harper (until his silly sending-off), Guillanza, Nelson, Hughes and Mr “I can head the ball from the edge of our six-yard box into the opposition penalty area” Askou all played a role for us to a positive extent.
Stephen Hughes provided that cross for Chris Martin against Leeds of course.
Thanks very much.
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Guillianza played with Cottee for us and was much the better of the pairing, until injury curtailed his career with us. Definitely would no include him in this list.
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Thanks Roger
He’s also Timm Klose’s agent, which has probably helped us!
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One that possibly even the over 40s would fail to remember. Willie Young, it wasn’t just that he was bad he also went on strike refusing to train after being dropped. There is nobody who has failed this club more than that in my opinion
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