Stan hates the summer. The weather's alright (most of the time), there's a chance to have a beer outside, and life slows down a bit.
But, in the footballing world, the rumour-mill goes into overdrive, the papers are filled with names and clubs linked in the most tenuous fashion, and we have to make do with England games against semi-made up countries to pass the time. (As for alternatives, just don't let Stan anywhere near the subject of tennis…)
With regard to our own beloved heroes, Stan's response to all the potential 'new faces' and the rumours suggesting Earnie or whoever is about to enter the 'Old Boys Club' is ambivalent.
On the one hand, Stan should be grateful for such football-related chit-chat. Years back, when Stan was in shorts and passing the long school holiday kicking his own ball about, the local newspapers (and even the nationals to a degree) simply dropped football from the back page.
There was nothing to report unless a player was bought or sold; a manager sacked or hired.
As a result, young Stan was bored and eager for even a sniff of a City story.
Nowadays, however, in our age of rolling news and micro-information overload, every day brings some piece of unsubstantiated nothing-or-other.
Already this summer, we have been linked with approximately 20 players. Indeed, given Peter Grant's obvious predilections, we have been systematically linked to every player with a Scots birth-certificate, who has played at some time or other in Scotland, and even with someone simply named 'Scotland'.
From the other side, our own star turns, especially Earnie, have been linked to the usual suspects of newly-promoted cannon fodder.
Every day another story, of which approximately five or six will have substance come the start of August.
Most annoying, of course, is the role of the agents in all this.
Thus, just when Stan was day-dreaming of a Sutton-Earnie combo kicking off the season, Sutty's agent throws his two-penneth into the ring and pops that particular bubble – at least temporarily.
More importantly, the summer – even more than the January transfer window – brings the agent centre-stage and highlights the parasitical role they play within the modern game.
Not only do they drive the media circus, but they hike up the financial stakes that will – ultimately – simply add to our burden as supposed 'customers'.
Now, in Stan's imagined socialist republic, agents would, first, be up against the same wall as the landlords and estate agents (or swinging from the same lamp-posts as the solicitors and business consultants)…
And, second, their role in football would be given over entirely to the players' trade union, the PFA, to safeguard the players' interests – but not take a (huge) financial cut – during any transfer activity.
Won't happen of course, but such thoughts currently seem more appealing than Jamie Cureton in an Ipswich shirt.
Stan shouldn't worry – it'll be all over in a few weeks.
But, amidst the rumours, names and scare-mongering, there remains the very real fact that we do need new faces at Carrow Road, and those new faces need to be the
right ones to take our club up the table in 2007-8.
Back in May (possibly May 2005, thinking about it), Stan reckoned that we needed at least a new goal-keeper, right-back, centre-back, centre-midfielder and centre-forward in order to progress.
The first two of these seem to be in process – Otsemobor and Marshall. The striker situation also seems to be high on the club's priority list, although Sharp looks more Wolves-bound and the Earnie rumours may cause further complications.
In midfield, a few names have been bandied about – one of who picked Doncaster over us, which kind of sums up our journey over the past three years.
But with Safs often needing to lie down, and with his being booked in at the African Nations this season, a hard-tackling midfielder is an essential purchase.
For Stan, however, it's at the back that we need to most focused on the transfer market. Put bluntly, Doc and Shacks does not work; something has to give.
Dublin can't play every game, and we all know he'd rather be up the other end of the pitch in any case. Yet, for all that Stan has just said, it is this crucial position about which the rumour-mill is most quiet.
That makes Stan a worried man. And until a tried-and-tested centre-back is imported into Colney, then Stan will continue to fear for our prospects next season.
Oh happy days ?