Stan hates January. It's a dreary, hangover of a month. And as if Stan needed further reason to hate it along came that old chestnut 'the January transfer window.'
A hideous and heinous creation that leaves Stan awaiting every text or phone call like some deranged expectant father. Every football story, text or email is met with a skip of the heart. A skip that is inevitably followed by a sinking.
Despite all logical and scientific reasoning pointing towards nothing happening until the 31st of January, and in all likelihood not happening until 23.57, Stan still can't help himself. 'Who will we sign today?' thinks an ever-optimistic Stan as he awakes each morning?. 'Err? No-one…' is the inevitable answer as he sips his evening hot milk reflecting on another fruitless day.
Now Stan knows the scoop, you all know the scoop. The January transfer window plays out in the same depressing way every year. Nothing much happens for 30 days then chaos ensues across the country as players fly in every direction? except Norwich's.
This year Stan expects different? Ooohh, that sounds a bit self important? Stan hopes for different!
The present impasse is by no means exclusively a Norwich problem. Just have a look at the BBC website and have a perusal at the January transfers to date. (Stan did previously try to post a link here, but he crashed his computer so he won't do it again…)
As you can see there is very little out there that, realistically, City would have gone for.
There has been plenty of movement of fringe players, the odd decent player jumping ship and the odd bit of lunacy.
If ever you needed an emphatic example of the power of the agent and his ability to milk the January window it's there in black and white.
Andy Gray to Charlton for ?1.5 million rising to ?2 million? that makes our miraculous profit on Chris 'Lights, camera, action…' Brown look paltry in comparison. Someone out there has clearly lost the plot.
As we approach zero hour these acts of lunacy will become more common place as the agents smell the panic in boardrooms and managers' offices up and down the country. The greater the smell, the more money that can be extracted.
It must smell like a slurry tank in Pardew's office at the moment!
In his football deprived state Stan took it upon himself to go and watch training at Colney on Saturday. Let's just say the first team squad doesn't look blessed with numbers at the moment.
In fact, Stan spent the whole session trying desperately to catch prowling Roeder's eye.
'Hi Glenn, I've got my boots in the car if you want to make up a full 22…' went the imagined conversation. Considering the only boots in Stan's car were a pair of steel-toe-capped wellies, it's probably just as well it didn't happen!
Mind you, it wouldn't have made that much difference to Stan's first touch anyway!
Roeder has overseen a veritable massacre of players over the last few weeks. There was a touch of Lord Cardigan in the aftermath of The Charge of the Light Brigade about him as he surveyed what is left of his squad at Colney on Saturday.
He knows that we are woefully short on numbers, Doomster knows we are short on numbers and unfortunately every agent in the land will know we are short on numbers.
It promises to be an interesting few days as the Cockney barrow boy style of business adopted by the agents comes head-to-head, once more, with Carrow Road's head-boy.
The battle of wills that has developed over 'Tiny' Taylor will also conclude one way or another shortly. Whilst Stan finds it as frustrating as the next man that we didn't pay the money in December and be done with it, he'll reserve judgement until that battle is done.
Should Tiny boing, boing his way to the Baggies and no suitable replacement appear, Stan will personally post a handkerchief to Mr D to wipe the egg from his face.
However should a beaming Tiny, flanked by his City shirt wearing kids, materialise Stan will send a gift wrapped pot of hair gel and a card of congratulations to the Chief Exec's office!
The coming few days are going to tell us an awful lot more about 'Team Glenn' than we already know. Hopefully his contact book does extend a little beyond Raith Rovers because we still need numbers, and more importantly we still need quality.
These are exciting times to be a City fan. Who will they be, where will they come from? Isn't it exciting?
Stan Loves the January transfer window? it's a bloody great idea!