In journalism, it's commonly known as a “F**k me!” story.
The type of unbelievable tale which comes completely out of the blue with the natural reaction being to spit out those two certain words.
It was Wednesday lunchtime and, with a fellow hack from the Daily Mirror, I was just leaving a location in the City where the Professional Footballers Association had announced a link-up with a gaming firm (and we were the only two reporters who turned up).
Football fans are being asked to predict goalscorers for Premier League matches along with naming those involved in the assists. It's ?2 a throw with the prospect of winning a grand. Some could argue that when it comes to taking advice on gambling, the PFA have several hundred experts in this field just a phone call away…
Anyway, after a pleasant half hour or so with Gordon Taylor, I switched my phone on to be greeted with a message from an agitated news editor who ordered me over to the Cumberland Hotel, near Marble Arch, as there was going to be a Press conference about the Premier League staging a whole weekend's fixtures in other parts of a world.
My initial reaction was this was a wind-up. I wondered whether it was April 1 but soon remembered (a) it was February and (b) I first met my missus on that day and she always reminds her very own April Fool of this fact.
On listening to the voicemail message for a second time, it was clear my immediate boss did appear to be in a bit of a panic. A quick call to the Premier League and they confirmed there was, indeed, going to be an announcement – but not until 4pm.
So, after a quick journey on the Central Line, I took just a few minutes bashing out six particularly-dull paragraphs (even by my standards) on why Gordon Taylor says supporters who fail to respect a minute's silence should be banned from football. It then was a case of hitting the phone to try and discover exactly what was going on.
The clubs chairman met in central London yesterday morning and even before they had all unanimously agreed to go ahead with this cunning plan of world domination, the news had already started to leak out, no doubt because some of those present at Premier League HQ were sending people texts underneath the table. And from what I hear, that's not the only thing some of them do underneath an office table…
A while back, the previous West Ham chairman, Eggert Magnusson, said the Premier League staging matches abroad was going to happen but no-one really believed old Egghead.
Yet at 4.10pm, Premier League chairman Richard Scudamore confirmed that ten Premiership matches are likely to be played on other continents starting in January 2011. Shameful money-grabbers or club chairman with a vision?
This is the ?100million question, but I think we all know the answer. In terms of its originality, I applaud the project.
Five cities to stage ten matches over a weekend. The games will start in Asia/Australia at 9am GMT, move on to the Middle East and then after a break in the afternoon for the English football programme, the matches in North America would begin with the final game ending at 10pm GMT – or 2pm in Los Angeles.
The games will all be staged in a warmer climate than England so there is no chance of Roman Abramovich taking Chelsea to Siberia. I've also read some people saying how matches will go to New York but their winters are far more extreme than ours.
These matches will create unprecedented interest throughout the globe and will – without doubt – strengthen the Premier League's claim as the most powerful domestic football tournament in the world. Each host city will stage what could be a carnival of English football over the weekend. The locals will lap it up.
The clubs will be about ?5million richer. The players will love it. The armchair supporters over here will be in slob heaven. Then, Scudamore reminded us that the travelling English fans will love it. Ah, yes, the regular fans, forgot about them…
Of course, those with a spare ?800-plus to shell out on flights and hotel for a few days will, indeed, have a right crack. Predictably, though, the Premier League's chairmen do not care about the other fans who struggle to get by simply to afford a season ticket. Those who cut back on their summer hols or a new car, just so they can sit on their own seat every other week.
But as we've now known for a long-time, English football doesn't really give a flying fig about the average punter.
Particularly not a bloke like Malcolm Glazer who does not have a clue about our great game, never goes to Old Trafford and wears a pair of trousers in the strangest way I have ever seen.
The game has sold out in an even greater way than anyone thought was possible. Football has always evolved, from numbers on the back of shirts, substitutions, floodlights, live football, three points-for-a-win, five subs, pay-per-view TV, fourth officials and several other things I've probably forgotten.
This, however, is one step too far. A good operator and a thoroughly decent man, Scudamore maintains the League will not lose its integrity. But there is a strong chance, particularly in the States, that if one of the matches is not particularly mouth-watering such as Everton v Fulham and, let's be honest here, hypothetically, Norwich v Blackburn, then the stadiums will be half empty.
There will also be immense pressure from Liverpool, United and Villa to play their games in America, Man City will be desperate to go to Thailand while Emirates-backed Arsenal will want to head to Dubai. These demands will be impossible for the Premier League to ignore, whether they admit it or not.
But most importantly of all, there is the competition itself. Let's assume we have a re-run of the 1988-89 season when Arsenal won the title ahead of Liverpool on goals scored as their goal difference was the same. Say United pip Arsenal to the title by scoring more goals, taking into account that in their overseas trip, they hammered Derby 7-0 while Arsene Wenger's team defeated Bolton 1-0.
It would simply be grossly unfair. A total joke.
Despite what Scudamore says, the Premier League is not only about to lose its symmetry with a 38-game season, but also the integrity he was referring to. The day a match is tagged 'Thriller in Manilla II' will be the time when we really will say 'F**k me… our game has died..'.
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