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Tis a fair cop, Guv. Stanley can only plead guilty to fearing the worst…

15th March 2009 By Guest Blogger Leave a Comment

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Stan's always fancied being a lawyer. He went out with one for a few years, way back when, (yes, it was a she!) but that is as close to Lincoln's Inn as Stan ever got.

Thus the idea of being stood before a packed and awestruck court room whist cleverly weaving an indestructible case for the prosecution, has continued to appeal somewhat.

Sometimes Stan still imagines himself, Rumpole of the Bailey-like, shuffling papers, sipping a single malt and drawing together his case that will ultimately rip to pieces the feeble lies of the cowering accused.

Worryingly, in a early show of senility, presumably brought on by supporting City, Stan has even started to imagine cross-examining his own, almost criminally inept attempt at footballing punditry in recent weeks.

[Stan, dressed in barrister's robes] 'Please read the extract in front of you scribed on 6th September 2008. Please, do not say anything, just read it!

'Is this the turning point we have craved for so long? Is this where we begin the new phase in Norwich history? Will we look back in years to come and nod sagely at the mere mention of Home Park?

'Yes son, indeed. We never looked back from that moment…' The scribes blew the dust from the Norwich City history books on that day, and so began a new and glorious chapter in our Club's history.

[Stan in robes] 'Thank you. Now please read the following extract, dated 8th March 2009'

'He (Stanley of the Barclay) hoped against hope that for once the good guy would win. Sadly, hamstrung by an inherently poor squad and no money the finale looks likely to be more Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid than the Great Escape…

[Stan in robes] 'Can you please tell me who wrote this utter rot?'

[Stan in City bobble hat] 'Er.. Yes sir. It was me, Stanley?it was on MFW. I'm pretty sh#t at this malarkey aren't I?

[Stan in robes] 'Indeed you are Mr Stanley? embarrassingly so. I have in my possession a further 233 examples of such crimes. I can only advise you to plead guilty this instant, and return at once to your day job, thus saving us all from any more of this lamentable.. nay? criminal drivel'

[Stan in City bobble hat] 'No way wiggy, I'm a fighter not a quitter baby, I'm going to keep writing this rubbish?. For ever!'

So here goes!

Stan admits he thought he heard the Fat Lady sing at this point last week. We genuinely looked dead and buried. Both performance wise and points wise we looked doomed.

Who can honestly say that last Saturday evening they foresaw six points and two clean sheets coming in the week just gone? Even those who had seen Gow, McDonald and Mooney train at Colney couldn't have believed such a transformation was possible.

Almost miraculously, with the arrival of this trio, we have looked like a different side.

Their intelligence and sheer tenacity have breathed new life into a side that looked wholly incapable of getting even close to safety a few short days ago.

They go direct when they need to, find space in the box, and bring others into play. Gow in particular has been quite awesome at times.

As we all know we mustn't get carried away, we've been there before (see exhibit 1!), but we finally look like a team and a club with a fighting chance of survival.

In addition to what's happened up front, Doc and Shackell have suddenly looked like a decent centre-half pairing, someone's reminded Otsemobor he's allowed into the opposition half and genuine attacking menace has reappeared from both out wide and through the centre.

The imposed absence of Russell will cause a bit of head scratching for all concerned, but as is often the way after a couple of wins, it doesn't seem an insurmountable problem right now, even with a trip to Birmingham looming.

It has to be said that enormous credit must go to the Big Man and the his merry men for bringing this transformation about. They have given us an excellent chance of survival but it goes without saying that the situation remains perilous.

A quick scan of the remaining fixtures brings both hope and fear. In honesty, catching sight of that Portman Road date makes Stan feel a bit sick, but if the players can continue at the same levels of graft and guile as they have over the last two games we'll be absolutely fine…

And we all know just how spot on Stan's predictions usually are, don't we?

OTBC!


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