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A festive little ditty or two to keep us all in the post-derby party mood… Happy Xmas, one and all.

10th December 2010 By Kevin Baldwin 3 Comments

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Deck the stands with boughs of holly, 
Four-four-four-four-four, four-four-four-one,
Ipswich fans are melancholy, 
Four-four-four-four-four, four-four-four-one.
Those in yellow/green apparel, 
Four-four-four, four-four-four, four-four-one,
Bent their players o’er a barrel,
Four-four-four-four-four, four-four-four-one…
   

I had thought about filling this entire column with festive ditties basking in our derby win.  But it’s now a week and a half since that glorious afternoon, and as Paul Lambert told the club website before the Derby win:

“It was great for the fans and I’m sure they have basked in it for a few days but you quickly have to move on to the next one.  It is important we don’t dwell on it, it’s finished, it’s over…”

As ever, he’s right, so I’ve decided to rise above childish gloating.  We should be better than that; after all, we only diminish ourselves by poking fun with compositions like:

God rest ye merry Norwich men,
Let nothing you dismay.
For every week it seems we see
Another fine display.
But down the A140
Everything has gone astray:
No tidings of comfort for Roy,
Comfort for Roy,
No tidings of comfort for Roy.

We only appear smug and ungracious in victory by crowing.  Like this, for example:

Ding dong! merrily on high,
We sit in this division:
Ding dong! what a big surprise,
We’ve won on television!
Delia, Hosanna in excelsis!
Look down there below, below,
The axe may soon be swungen,
For, i-o i-o i-o,
They’re sinking in the dungen.
Gloria, our rivals in extremis!

 

We all know how quickly things can change in football.  Hubris is invariably punished at some point, so it would be foolish to indulge in this sort of thing when we still have to visit Portman Road this season…

Have yourself a merry yellow Christmas,
Let your heart be light.
Always you-know-what
Upon the blue and white.
Have yourself a merry yellow Christmas,
Revel while you may,
It’s four months
Until we take them on away…

Besides, to keep going on about our neighbours elevates them to an importance in our lives which is both unhealthy and undeserved – though drawing parallels between their current situation and our recent history is probably acceptable:

In the bleak midwinter, Ipswich fans made moan,
They looked at the table: falling like a stone.
Loans kept coming, loans on loans, loans on loans,
Like we had with Roeder, not so long ago.

And simply paying homage to our own heroes is surely unobjectionable:

Good King Lambert lookèd out

From his high position

(Serving out a two-match ban

For an indiscretion).

Brightly shone the team that day

We could have scored seven,

Wouldn’t have mattered, I would say,

If they’d had ele-e-ven.

For lo, a shining star was seen in the East…

Long time ago in cold Carlisle, so the Sky Sports Yearbook* say,
Mrs Holt’s boy, baby Grant, was born on Palm Sunday†.
Barrow, Rochdale, Shrewsbury,

For these sides and more he played
But he will live for evermore because of derby day.

(*previously the Holy Rothmans; †12 April 1981, apparently)

Nothing wrong with that at all, I think – though the following may be deemed to come close to crossing the line again:

I saw three goals go flying in
From Captain Holt, from Captain Holt;
I saw three goals go flying in
From Captain Holt in the s*** game.

And then we scored another one,
From Hoolahan, Wes Hoolahan,
You might say that we scored for fun,
At Carrow Road in the s*** game.

Oh, I know these rhymes aren’t insightful.  And they may seem rather spiteful.  Better take a deep breath and blow – let it go, let it go, let it go…

Merry Christmas, all.


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Filed Under: Column, Kevin Baldwin

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Comments

  1. rbf says

    10th December 2010 at 7:28 pm

    Evening Baldwin, One could be tempted to think that maybe you were inspired after reading some of mine on 606, if so, here´s a couple more,

    to the tune, `The Holly and the Ivy`

    Our Holty is so lively
    And leads our line so well,
    Of all the lads who are at the club
    He is not the one to sell

    And Lambert knows this clearly
    But that is nothing new,
    And as soon as he could get it done
    He made Holty skipper too

    The other players seem to
    Appreciate his words,
    For when they have their pre-match clinch
    No-one gives him the bird

    And being captain sometimes
    Can be an awful strain,
    Not everyone can do it well
    For some it kills their game

    But how he revels in it
    In every game he plays,
    Whether with the ball or on the ground
    In so many different ways

    So hats off to our leaders
    Both on and off the pitch,
    Not every team are just as blessed
    With them both we could get rich.

    and to the tune, `We 3 Kings Of Orient Are`

    Those three Kings of Carrow Road are
    Working hard to take our club far,
    Always thinking, never blinking
    All eyes on our radar
    O,
    Star is Lambert, star is Mac
    And with Bowkett we don´t lack
    Upward leading, never needing
    Any excuse to attack

    They appeared about the same time
    And they soon were of the same mind,
    Up and onwards, were the strong words
    We heard along our climb
    O,
    Star is Lambert, star is Mac
    And with Bowkett we don´t lack
    Upward leading, never needing
    Any excuse to attack

    Though their plan to bring us all cheer
    Wasn´t scheduled to be this year,
    How we´re playing, some are saying
    Promotion could be near
    O,
    Star is Lambert, star is Mac
    And with Bowkett we don´t lack
    Upward leading, never needing
    Any excuse to attack

    If those Kings of Carrow Road stay
    And help guide us well on our way,
    I´ve a feeling, we´ll be sealing
    A Premier spot one day
    O,
    Star is Lambert, star is Mac
    And with Bowkett we don´t lack
    Upward leading, never needing
    Any excuse to attack. OTBC

    Reply
  2. Kevin Baldwin says

    11th December 2010 at 9:18 pm

    Very good. I don’t visit the 606 site though!

    Reply
  3. rbf says

    15th December 2010 at 10:25 pm

    Cheers Baldwin, you too – Merry Christmas!

    Reply

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