This is probably the wrong thing to say to a set of fans when you’ve failed to win after being 2-0 up, but I went to your game at Fulham on Tuesday night and it cheered me up considerably.
I’d watched two desperate, horrible Premier League matches in two days – my lot Boro in the flesh against Watford on Sunday, then that “Red Monday” abomination on Sky on Monday, and I desperately needed to flush my brain by watching some real football.
I’m sorry you didn’t hang on for the win, and I hope you go up (not least because I have a financial interest, as some of you may know) but I’m really starting to wonder whether the Championship isn’t altogether a more enjoyable place to be.
Boro v Watford was one of the worst games I’ve ever seen. Gamesmanship, diving, time-wasting and almost no football – not helped by an abject refereeing display from Roger East, which prompted a comment in questionable taste from a friend of mine that he’d sooner have had Fred West in charge.
It wasn’t that West/East was biased – he was even-handed in his ineptitude. He somehow failed to spot a second, third and possibly fourth clear booking for Boro’s hapless right-back Barragan, at least a penalty per team and ludicrous serial time-wasting for most of the second half by Watford.
To be fair to the bloke, the players on both sides didn’t help him and it was cringeworthy to hear our coach claim afterwards that there’s some kind of refereeing conspiracy against Boro. Of course, he was Mourinho’s assistant at Real, which may explain it, but doesn’t excuse it.
Speaking of Jose, yes, there’s no rule against parking the bus, but please don’t insult our intelligence by moaning and pouting next time it happens against you, old chap. And maybe warn us when you’re going to do it on live TV, so we can watch University Challenge or Cold Feet instead.
Anyway, as a neutral, Fulham v Norwich was a miles better spectacle than either of the aforementioned top-flight stinkers. Yes, I know you gave away a sloppy equaliser to an ex-player which is always annoying, but having watched Boro throw away a half-time lead at the Cottage a few weeks ago in the League Cup when Fulham had rested eight players, and having also seen their opening win against Newcastle, I’d say Fulham are a decent team, and a draw there is no disgrace.
It was also a pleasure to watch a game featuring very little cynicism. I’m not a big one for that “In my day, men were men” stuff but the double dose of PL nonsense really had got to me. On Tuesday, by contrast, Aluko absolutely clattered Wes Hoolahan for the game’s first booking, Hoolahan got straight up and made no fuss, ran away then limped a bit once he realised it actually hurt, long after the card had come out.
On Sunday, a challenge 2% as fierce as that and most Boro or Watford players would still be rolling down the A19 now, encouraged by their managers. If it had happened on Monday, Mourinho would have advocated capital punishment on the spot. Assuming his player was on the receiving end, obviously. He wouldn’t have seen it if his player had dished it out.
Then Scott Parker was kicked firmly in the head by Graham Dorrans right in front of where I was sitting. An accident of course, but no histrionics, up he got, Dorrans made sure he was alright and the game restarted. As it should be.
What else? Oh, yes, Norwich forced five corners after the 88th minute. Can you imagine that happening in the Premier League if Boro (or Norwich next season) are drawing away from home against a decent team? No chance – it’s run the clock down and hang on for grim death time.
Most of the time in the Premier League, unless you’re playing fellow strugglers you frequently go away and just try to keep the score down. Similarly, you won’t often see a mid-table Premier League team fight back from 2-0 down at home to the leaders like Fulham did.
You might not have enjoyed that very much, but objectively it’s good for the Championship that you never know what’s going to happen in any game. You’ll probably beat Preston on Saturday, but they’ve just drawn at Brighton, then beaten Huddersfield, so you really don’t know for sure.
By contrast, in a moment of madness, I’ve bought a ticket for Arsenal v Boro on Saturday – and some Boro fans are saying they’d take 0-3 now. The way they played in Europe, it could be 5, 6 or more. I hope not, but the sense of anticipation was a lot greater over the last couple of years, when we expected to win plenty of games and enjoy away days where you’d usually at least score.
Last time we were at the Emirates in the League, it was so one-sided, predictable and boring that I’m afraid the Boro fans, knowing there was nothing to say about the football, started singing songs in the second half about London property. I can remember “A million pounds and you live in a flat”, and “You’ll never have a garden” making me laugh, but I can’t remember the final score. Nil to Boro, obviously, and lucky to get nil, and maybe three or four to Arsenal.
The excitement when you do somehow get something at a place like that – we’ve never even scored at the Emirates, but did win at Highbury once – is stratospheric, but routine defeats aren’t much fun, particularly if they become a regular occurrence.
Two more things: well done to Norwich fans for the superb turnout a long way from home on a midweek evening. Lovely ground though it is, it’s generally up to the away fans to generate an atmosphere at the Cottage, and you did. And thanks to the team, for turning up in your proper kit.
As I’ve said before, you’re blessed as a club to have such distinctive colours associated exclusively with you – other than Lithuania, and that weird Man Utd protest period – and you should wear it whenever you can. Being called the Canaries makes little sense otherwise, but it didn’t stop the Hornets of Watford turning up at the Riverside in an all-white number (albino insects, anyone?) which clashed far more with Boro’s red and white than their proper kit would have done. A marketing decision, presumably, and yet more Premier League twaddle.
Furthermore, Hull should have ten points deducted for the third kit they wore at Bournemouth at the weekend. They want to be renamed the Tigers, then turn up in something called “purple cactus”. At times like that, you wonder whether the game’s finally eaten itself. At least they lost 6-1.
I have no idea what conclusion I’m drawing here – I don’t want Boro to be relegated and you rightly want your team back in the top flight – but after seven years’ absence in our case, during which time the gap seems to have widened and yo-yoing looks like becoming the norm for both our clubs, just remember the Premier League’s not the be all and end all.
Nor is it all it’s cracked up to be!
Tremendous piece, Paul, much to be agreed with. I’m not sure there is an answer to the YoYo idea for our clubs, and many like us. Unless a “European Super League” comes along and takes all the ‘big teams/players/managers’ away? Then we could have a relatively equal League like it used to be!
Great stuff Paul.
For context, Craven Cottage may be a lovely old ground but for Norwich fans, it’s a place of much pain and anguish – 30 years since we won there and a 6-0 last day trouncing which sent us down in 2005. It was too much to expect us to hang on to a 2-0 half-time lead.
The PL is a harsh environment which exposes any weakness either defensively or offensively – sadly, we had both in equal measure in the second half of last season. Many a debate has been had on this site about the relative merits of the Championship and the PL in terms of fan satisfaction – we’ve yo-yoed more than most of late.
Any extended stay in the Champ. naturally makes fans yearn for the big time as it did with Boro but that honeymoon period is all too short if you get there. We took many a pasting at the Emirates. It’s great to visit the big grounds every few weeks but miserable trudging away from another hammering.
Looks like at least 2 of 3 promoted sides will be struggling to survive in the PL but if/when the rumoured Allardyce back to Sunderland materialises, it could be 3 of 3. Extra painful for a Boro fan if the case.
Great article from Paul Armstrong and a fine comment from #2 Cosmo P.
Thanks Paul, for the neutral’s perspective, an excellent piece.
Having observed our fifteen minutes of second half madness through fingers held across my face it’s nice to know that we’re not quite as inept as it appeared to us. We simply could not keep the ball!
To yo-yo or not? I think it is preferable to do so rather than simply trudge along in mid-table as, for example, Stoke do. Unfortunately the angst that unearths among supporters becomes worse by the year. Our relative wealth among Championship clubs is the cause of some envy, but has been accumulated from the very depths of a near administration in 2009. What we have, we have earned through our efforts on the pitch and that’s what makes me most proud of my club.
If that then results in an immediate return to the poisoned chalice (rather than the Promised Land) of the Premier League so be it. A couple of years there, another relegation (and chance to beat Ip5w1ch again) back up in the first year – what could be better?
Oh, and forget the national media, unless you’re playing Newcastle this season, or one of the big five in the Premier League.
OTBC
I really enjoyed reading your very well-written article Paul.
Some facts do get in the way of a good story though. You’re a bit hard on Boro. They’ve never conceeded more than 2 goals at the Emirates, and have even managed a couple of results. “We’ve never even scored at the Emirates.” In fact Boro have scored in 2 out of their 3 Premier League games there:
09 Sep 2006 1-1
15 Mar 2008 1-1
26 Apr 2009 2-0
15 Feb 2015 2-0 (FA Cup)
I totally agree there is more pleasure, and far less pain, to be had from watching Norwich compete at the top of the Championship. But few would remain satisfied with finishing 3rd and loosing the play-off final every season.
We are compelled by more than just momentary pleasure and pain. Long-term satisfaction depends on the fulfilment of our innate ambition. This hope motivates us to advance, even through pain, while overcoming ever-greater challenges.
Most of us desperately want Norwich to play in the Premier League, not because it’s more pleasurable, but for the same reason George Mallory was driven to suffer and die while attempting Everest, “because it’s there”.
Good read! As a Fulham fan, obviously I was delighted that we came back from two down. But I agree absolutely about the Premier League. It wouldn’t bother me that much (having spent 13 straight years in that league) if we never got back to it. The novelty wears off very quickly. Having said that, our last two seasons since relegation have been terrible, so it would be nice to win a bit more often!
The problem is that to enjoy the Championship as you do in its current guise, we have to get promoted either this season or next.
If we don’t then the parachute payments will dry up and Norwich will be competing against clubs either their own parachute monies or against clubs with large amounts of wealthy external investment.
That is a very uneven playing field very much like the Premier League has been for us in recent years. It is therefore why Norwich must get promoted again otherwise we will encounter familiar complaints – just at a lower level.
Thanks all, and particularly Ian for setting me straight on Bori’/ Emirates record. I used to work Saturdays so only went to the last two & an surprised they were only 0-2. They felt worse! We had an appalling record at Highbury – losing 1-7 in 2004, & only winning once there in about 70 years. Anyway, I’ll check my facts a bit more carefully next time, but glad so many enjoyed the article. OTBC & UTB!
Sorry about your result yesterday. Meanwhile, Boro played Arsenal off the park and should have won. I clearly know nothing about football.
Great article from Paul A., but quite an astute and excellent comment from Edward Jacobs #8. As teams fall down into the Champo and utilize their parachute money, it becomes quite difficult for teams without this extra income to compete against them in a given year. Hence, the probability of sustained year after year excellence in the Champo while “avoiding” promotion seems highly improbable, as odd as that appears. In the current financial world that exists, Yo-Yo’ing is almost a requirement – as every FC needs to ‘drink from the trough’ ($$$) every so often to maintain the strength to muster on !