Have you ever been forced to deliver a “presentation” at work? Or even worse, been forced to sit through one given by somebody else that you don’t rate either professionally or personally?
These “events” at my old company were so boring we used to print out “bullsh*t bingo” cards, i.e. if you heard phrases such as “touch base”, “let’s do lunch”, “go with the flow” or “call me anytime” you’d mark them off and whoever got the first straight line would get a free beer courtesy of some of the rest of us afterwards. A loud cough and right hand scratching the forehead meant a full house was claimed.
Not realising we were stealthily corrupting the bingo world, one of my old bosses once gave me a right tongue-in-cheek shellacking for “flying by the seat of my pants”, i.e. making it up as I went along when it was my turn to present.
The reason I did it was because the lady who went on the podium before me had made almost every point I was due to deliver. She was from Germany (naturally, just like NCFC it was a German-based company, hehe) and said everything far better than I could have managed. So my only choice was to reinforce everything she had said, throw in a couple of off-the-cuff add-ons and some stand-up comedy, which I’m pretty poor at.
Powerpoint (as it was then) and my notes were binned by necessity.
Gary has basically taken on the role of the then German presenter Silke Meier by stealing any creative thunder I had regarding Bristol City. No sycophancy, just fact. His was an assessment I would struggle to disagree with.
So, here come the off-the-cuff add-ons (no attempts at comedy in this situation, you’ll be pleased to know).
I’m right behind the Barclay goal so feel I’m able to mention a positive and a negative.
Positive: Angus Gunn’s save from Jamie Paterson was top drawer, it really was. A very clever chip that might have defeated a shorter keeper. Plus Angus now has his own chant, which will surely only commit him even further to the cause.
Negative: CamJam was offside when he hit the back of the net. We all sat down as soon as we had stood up. CJ has many previous convictions for straying offside and there was no doubt it was the right decision by the linesman. No moans from myself or anybody around me; fair decision.
As for the Marco Stiepermann miss, well it happens. And unfortunately it did. Happen.
I reckon some praise for Bristol City is in order – they had much more adventure than Burton, and contributed to one of the brighter 0-0s that we’ve seen. And their fans, many of whom were around the City inexplicably early on the day, were pleasant folks indeed.
This game really wasn’t a Burton; it was just a case of two equally matched sides giving it everything in their own way. The kind of football I like to see.
Four consecutive clean sheets in four Championship games – yes, I’m content, as somebody I read about a lot might say. My post-Millwall malcontent has evaporated. A number of folks still think we should be banging them in at the other end. I think they might have to wait for that for a while, but we seem to be developing along some pretty good lines just now. First things first.
And as for the few (luckily, very few) idiots having a go at Josh Murphy: please desist as it says more about you than it does about him.
If you don’t stop having a go at him, I might make you listen to one of my presentations.
The last part of the pre-match warm-up routine involves players passing the ball forward to one of the coaching staff, running on to take a return pass, and then hitting a first-time shot, some of which are on-target, and some of which actually find the net. (It’s a bit risky sitting in the River End!). However, in a match this is rarely a move that’s made. I’m not sure if this is because the forward player doesn’t see the run and lay it off, or because nobody risks the run into space to take the return and shoot, but either way, there doesn’t seem to be much point to it (other than the players having their own version of “bull-shot bingo” and trying to hit specific targets in the River End) if they’re not going to try it during the game.
I suspect it’s less about trying to recreate a move, but more about practicing making good contact with ball in a shooting position. Will be interesting to see what drills other teams use
We have certainly made great strides defensively but at the expense of the ball retaining game we heard so much about. Effectively we are playing with a six man defense without a player to link the play between defense and attack. At the moment that player is Maddison and hopefully in future it will also be Pritchard but it is certainly not Wes that is not his game. Where Josh worked well with Husband there doesn’t appear to be the same connection with Stieperman. There is a concern in my mind that Farke’s team in Germany were very tight at the back whereas they didn’t score too many goals but I can’t remember where I saw the figures. Vrancic still seems to me to lack the sharpness and pace to go with his passing ability but hey we are moving forward ( I think).
That’s an excellent point regarding Wes. While I feel he is an integral part of our short-term future, his age alone defers to Maddison and Pritchard for the longer term.
Interestingly Josh has been quoted recently (don’t ask me where) as saying that he enjoys playing alongside Marco Stiepermann!
Jim – The only footballing version of Bullsh*t Bingo I know of for sure is that in the mid 60s several West Ham players pooled a considerable amount of cash, which would go to the first of them to hit a floodlight during an actual match – the nightlights weren’t that high at Upton Park in those days.
Whether anybody ever did it or not I don’t know – but two of my uncles knew the kitman well and both of them always claimed the story was 100 per cent true.
Martin, we used to play Bullsh*t Bingo at work, with another variant being to count how many times the presenter said “basically” during his session. One bloke in particular was a real star, getting it in into just about every sentence.
We are more blunt up top than any of us would like at the moment. But we don’t have NO playing, and although he is not referred to much at present, Pritchard’s absence has been missed a great deal. Rather as when Timm Klose returned, I suspect he will notice a sudden large difference when Pritchard is finally back.
For the Bristol City match, with Maddison also not risked at the start, I think Wildschut would have offered a more penetrative bet from the start than Watkins. I would have used them the other way round with Watkins as the sub, and perhaps coming into the centre rather in place of CamJam.
Now for the next test(s). Whatever the results, at least the fear about these away games is receding. May that continue.
Yes I agree about Marley Watkins-Yanic Wildschut. Watkins was never really able to get too involved, tbh. However, we were up against a very well-marshalled defence; fair play to Johnson and team on that one. I can’t believe how many people are saying elsewhere that the game was boring, I really enjoyed it.
Tomorrow night will surely prove the toughest of tests, but like yourself my fear level has dropped considerably.
Definitely a mistake to put Watkins on the wing. I would have started him rather than Cameron.
The next 2 games are not so much don’t lose as much as don’t get embarrassed or drop back into old habits.
In the last 4 games city have come on in leaps in the defensive side of the game and the first of the 2 games this week we have 2 old boys that will be out to prove themselves Howson is always a goal threat and Bamford never turned it on while on loan at city.
As for Reading they will be looking for pay back after the last score line 7 -1 and also they haven’t been playing very well so far this season so will this be their chance to embarrass city.
No news on the squad as of writting this but lets hope N-O is fit to play and if not try Fonkeu or at least have him on the bench he just might come on and do something to upset Middlesbrough defence and possibly score.
Reading play a very expansive game which just might suit us.
I am far more expective of a result there than I am at the Riverside!
Be positive I want 4 points from these two games.
Great piece Martin; I really laughed at the bingo game. We used to play something similar when having our (far too) frequent “management meetings”.
I too thought that Bristol looked a very tidy and competent side; and not one that we would have been comfortable to have faced before Klose returned. Yes, the defence is looking far more secure now, but on Saturday we lacked movement/interchange from our most forward players. I was a little disappointed that Wildschut didn’t get a start after his heroics at Sheffield (and didn’t they do well yesterday?).
Final point; can someone please explain to me how the Bristol fan on Canary Call could get back to Bristol by car in 3 hours?? That is some claim…..
O T B C
I didn’t listen to Canary Call (I normally avoid it tbh) but even if you were Lewis H in a supercharged 4×4 or any weapon of his choice you couldn;t do that journey in the time. It’s just physically impossible without a helicopter.
Jeez it took me 25 minutes to get from near the ground to the right end of Drayton Road!
I believe the forward play will develop – we have to be collectively patient..
A good post and thank you.
Carrow Road to Bristol City Centre in three hours would mean an average speed of 81 miles per hour by the fastest route on Google Maps. Shurely shome mishtake, Missh Moneypenny.
As someone who lives in Gloucester, I’d like to know which route that Bristol City fan took… although I’m not convinced I’d want to share a lift!
I’ve just come out of a meeting (I have more meetings than Lester Piggott) where someone asked, twice, what the ‘walkaway price’ is. Sometimes I think the GBH laws are too severe in this country.
I’m happy for us to concentrate on the defence for a while yet, it’s still something of a novelty to see zero for the opposing team. Hopefully, the lack of malcontent will still be tangible when Hull rock up at Carrow Road.
Yes, it would be great to go into the next international break in far better spirits than the previous one.
Unfortunately for dear old Lester, he missed one or two meetings with the waxman (misprint).
I believe the walk away price was twenty five quid for a cup tie.
Over 1/3rd of our goals last year we’re scored by players who have left the club.
The reminder we’re from injury prone Oliveira, off form Jerome, and aging Wes.
Either we need our strikers to be fit and in form, or we need some of our new players to develop a desire to shoot. Something we often look unwilling to do.
Wow. My iPhone did me no favours with autocorrect there.