If you have a puppy and it craps on the inside doormat instead of making it into the garden, if your drains are blocked or if for some reason the neighbours’ dustbin hasn’t been emptied for three weeks in the summer, what do you get?
A very bad smell.
Stagger downstairs with a hangover and sniff the whiff of last night’s tandoori chicken lingering in the kitchen… it doesn’t make you feel too good.
And Carrow Road stank on Friday night, it really did. From the kick-off to the 75-minute mark, when I left. Many had departed before me.
Apart from a one-minute burst in the first half during which we contrived to miss three consecutive chances, we were collectively rank.
Surely this is as low as it gets?
Unfortunately, I don’t think so – we have the capacity to become even worse. Dangerously worse.
The very best of fair play to Brentford. They carved us apart twice for their well-merited goals and but for the reactions of Angus Gunn it could have been one hell of a lot worse. Their boy Sawyers took the juice and we basically allowed him to. Disgraceful.
Half time in the Upper Barclay bar was, erm, interesting.
We always stand behind the minimum wager who dispenses the fizzy stuff from what looks like a decorator’s paste table in order to avoid the crush. But it’s a great observation point and oh boy, the comments were vitriolic. Without exception, seemingly. People were so frustrated they were arguing with each other and for once the replay screens were working and we could all relive the ease with which Brentford unlocked the door.
Our half-time chat revolved around who was the worst player on the pitch, and nobody in a red and white shirt came into contention.
The second half? Brentford contained an empty threat. End of, really.
Except that quite a few of us in the UB joined in with the “Delia Out” chants. To the point that the intensely annoying “happy clapper” unfortunately recently sat next to me who views the entire game through binoculars put his fingers in his ears. Literally.
The “Sack the Board” song is irrelevant and pointless, we all know that. But it was sung nevertheless.
And then Brentford gave it the “should have gone Christmas shopping” one. We sang back in agreement. Oh boy… again.
Feelings are running high just now. The Board have backed themselves into a corner – their Brave New World (aka downsizing) is not working out. For them or us. Yes, there IS a divide.
Many people say things in the heat of a moment (I am often guilty of that type of behaviour myself) but the current consensus is nailed on that there will be less season ticket renewals this January than in a very long time.
I don’t do social media, but the missus does and quite a few people are apparently spitting the old blowpipe at Ed Balls. It’s utterly incomprehensible that he might be at fault, beyond guilt by association of course. It’s descending into farce.
I started by contemplating smells, so I shall end in the same vein.
This Club stinks just now and not just on the pitch.
If you love somebody set them free. Go on Delia, you know it’s the right thing to do.
A very Merry Christmas to our readers, writers and all NCFC supporters everywhere.