Period covered: 2017-2018:
Last year’s Ofsted rating of vastly underperforming created a situation where the school board had to act decisively, and they appointed a new head of department Mr Webber, and a new class teacher in Herr Farke. Their actions this year have begun to address the issues that undermined our school last year, but it’s fair to say that as a school we had hoped for a little better in terms of pushing forward and our end of term results reflected this.
Gunn, Angus: B+
An impressive Freshman year for young Gunn. He has been kept a little busier in his work than we would hope at times but he has been a solid and dependable member of the class, and he will return from his exchange year wiser and more confident.
Pinto, Ivo: C+
We have not seen the best of Pinto this year. Whilst he was rewarded for his earlier hard work with the designation of Head Boy, 2018 has rarely seen Pinto demonstrate the capability to back up this honour. Between repeated visits to matron’s sickbay and unimpressive results when tested, it has been a school year to forget for Pinto.
Husband, James: C+
Observers generally agree that Husband has found life difficult since he arrived at this school. Whilst this is not unfair, tales of his poor results tend to be over exaggerated in my opinion. Husband has performed with distinction on several occasions although some elementary errors have undermined his development. A popular lad with his classmates, next year will be the making or breaking of his time at this school. He needs to become more involved.
Lewis, Jamal: B
Young Lewis was not originally thought to be one earmarked for the accelerated learning programme but Herr Farke saw potential in the boy and gave him an opportunity. He gained widespread acclaim with an outstanding display on our field trip to see the pensioners of West London and has been honoured for his work in his home nation. He didn’t perform with distinction at the end-of-year Wednesday test however and remains a work in progress. For a younger student however it has been an impressive year of development.
Stiepermann, Marco: C
A promising, if unfulfilling year for our new student. Whilst he has displayed impressive drive and technique in patches, he has yet to distinguish himself with any level of consistency. Herr Farke has tried moving him around the classroom to find a seat that fits but he is another that has also found his schooling interrupted by a frustrating amount of time in sickbay. Could be one to watch next year if he can be consistent and present though.
Martin, Russell: D
Martin’s status as Head Boy persuaded Mr Webber to extend his schooling by extra years before the start of the year. However, poor performance in class led to a drop in his status and to Martin spending time in a Scottish borstal. His future would appear to be away from the school at this time.
Franke, Marcel: D
Of all the summer arrivals at our school, Franke took the most to prize away from his previous seat of learning, so it was something of a surprise that he returned home so quickly in the school year. As I have learned to my cost, it’s easy to forget he was even here at times. The desks at the back of the classroom are all full up now so it is difficult to foresee where the future lies when, or indeed if, Franke returns to us.
Klose, Timm: B
A much better year than last year for Klose. He has seen some triumphant moments in class, none more so than when he helped our old rivals Scumston Casuals snatch what felt like a defeat for them from the jaws of victory in the inter-schools final. He has also, like the vast majority of the class, let himself down with poor decisions on occasions too. We do however remain hopeful that this popular class clown will remain with us next term.
Zimmermann, Christoph: A-
A delightful young man, he has quickly bought into the ethos of the school and taken on everything asked of him by Herr Farke. Whilst he has made errors, he does tend to learn from his mistakes. I look forward greatly to seeing the further development of Zimmermann next year.
Hanley, Grant: A
We have long needed a pupil as committed and dependable as Hanley to sit at the back of the class and model the calmness and behavioural standards we desire. It is noticeable that on the rare occasions Hanley has been absent all hell has tended to break out in the classroom. An exceptional year and one he should be very proud of.
Raggett, Sean: Ungraded
Raggett was brought to the school after outstanding results at his previous Alma mater but as yet has barely been called on in class. We have a number of boys who like to sit at the back of class but only so many seats and I hope for his sake Raggett doesn’t get lost in the shuffle. His reputation alone deserves him an opportunity to shine.
Tettey, Alex: A
When Herr Farke was struggling to find a solution to problems in the middle of the class, this boy was able to say “It’s me, It’s Tettey”. By far his best year at the school for me, he has been outstanding and our test results have been overwhelmingly better when he has been in class. Tettey has matured into a cornerstone of our class.
Trybull, Thomas: B+
Thomas’s importance to the class is only truly felt when he is absent, which has been borne out by test results. Thomas is hard-working and creative and has become a firm favourite with everyone. If we can keep him in lessons and out of sickbay next year he could become more important still.
Reed, Harrison: B+
Reed has gone a long way to counter any anti-ginger bullying problems at this school with his irrepressible nature and exemplary work ethic. Reed has had a lot asked if him by Herr Farke this year and he has adapted to each new challenge with commendable vigour. Like Gunn, his time as an exchange student here will have broadened his learning and make him a better and more rounded pupil.
Leitner, Moritz: B
At times this exchange student has looked like he should really be attending an Oxbridge College instead of our little school, but he has equally endured quiet periods that remind us why he is with us instead. This boy has all the potential to be the best student at this level, and it would be a coup if we could persuade him to join us again next term. At this stage, it does just remain potential however. More substance will be needed.
Vrancic, Mario: A-
After an underwhelming 2017, Vrancic has blossomed into one of our most impressive and dependable students by the end of the school year. He has worked hard to adapt to English schooling but has clearly immersed himself in the culture and learning techniques and performed immeasurably better since Christmas. Well done Mario!
Maddison, James: A+
What an impressive year. This young man has been at the forefront of much of the classes good work and has earned admiring glances from the highest educational establishments in the land. We hope a recent bout of misfortune will not delay his development unduly. He has passed every test put before him with flying colours and is one of our most impressive young students in recent years.
Hoolahan, Wes: C+
Maddison’s dominance this year has limited the ever dependable Hoolahan to a smaller role in class activities. He has, as you would expect, always performed well when called upon however. The school will not be the same without him next year and the tearful scenes following his graduation confirmed what an enormous legacy he leaves in our classroom.
Naismith, Steven: D-
Mr Webber was finally able to find a school that would help pay part of Naismith’s scholarship in January. Whilst making a lot of noise about wanting to move schools he remains resistant to joining one that won’t honour his full scholarship so may well still be here next year. However, he needs to be far more productive than he had been before to cut it in Herr Farke’s class.
Wildschut, Yanic: C-
Well done to Wildschut in making the most of his exchange term in Wales and helping them enjoy outstanding results. This may well trigger them to seek his transfer to their school on a permanent basis, which would potentially suit all parties. If not, he will hopefully return to us reinvigorated and ready to contribute. Overall though it is likely he will seek his future elsewhere.
Hernandez, Onel: B+
Promising start from this young man. Not afraid to fight his battles against bigger boys his determined nature will stand him in excellent stead next year. If we can keep him away from matron he will be a very exciting addition to the class.
Murphy, Josh: C+
Murphy’s performance levels have been as sporadically impressive and disappointing as the class as a whole. On his day, few boys are as impressive at this level as Murphy, but those days don’t come about regularly enough. Equally, he can appear horribly off his game and out of ideas. “How to solve a conundrum like Josh Murphy” will be a key topic for Herr Farke this summer.
Watkins, Marley: D
A lost boy. He has contributed very little of substance in class this year. Not without work ethic but his work is generally below par and uninspiring. Would probably benefit him to pursue other learning options outside the school.
Oliviera, Nelson: D-
What a disappointing year. Hopes were high that Oliviera would be an outstanding performer this term but he has been anything but in truth. Too many times he has walked a tightrope in terms of his personal behaviour and has spent more time in my office than either of us would wish. He appears unable to answer the questions at the front of the class that Herr Farke is asking. I would be very surprised if Oliviera returned next year.
Srbeny, Denis: C+
After some initial struggles to get to grips with the level of work, Srbeny became more confident and settled in his new surroundings. Whilst lacking some of the natural talent of a lad like Oliviera, Srbeny is far more comfortable in carrying out the tasks required by Herr Farke’s classroom system. Summer school will be hugely important to Srbeny and a full tuition over the coming months could see him develop even further.
Herr Farke: C-
Herr Farke has struggled to get consistent results from this year’s crop of boys. Whilst the number of changes at the school goes some way to explain this, as does the number of boys who have spent regular time in sickbay, test scores have been less than we hoped for. Frustratingly, even when the class has had some of it’s brightest pupils in attendance, things have not improved, although good performances have also come unexpectedly along the way as well, and a good camaraderie appears to have developed amongst the class. Herr Farke now has another full summer school to tweak and develop his ideas in the hope that next year allows us to make true progress.
Mr Webber: B+
Mr Webber was tasked by the school board with reducing the number of subsidised pupils who were not performing, improving the infrastructure as creatively as possible, and overseeing a transition to a younger set of students. In that regard, he has succeeded. Whilst initial errors such as the decision to extend Martin’s period at the school did not pay off, this was quickly managed and the class were able to move on. The recruitment of new, young pupils has been broadly successful and the class feels fresh and united in its common goals. A crucial summer approaches for Mr Webber as he looks for quality instead of quantity to help Herr Farke in the next few months.
A lot of high grades there, strikers excepted, suggests we have good players but not the good team. Mr Farke will need to step up.
With the exception of Gunn & Murphy, who I feel were harshly marked, I’d say that was a fair assessment.
Cracking stuff Andy – really enjoyed reading it.
I wonder which pupils will be at their desks next season? I mean next term.
Great stuff, Andy. The only one I’d query is Herr Farke who – coming to a new country with a completely new staff and needing to make big savings – has maybe performed more creditably than C- suggests.
And perhaps clarify that it’s referring to injuries (at least I think it is) when you say Hernandez needs to kept away from matron….
Franke a D?
Seems overly generous in general to me. We finished bottom half of the grades league table and below those awful oiks from Scumston Casuals snatch. 5 A grades, 7 B’s (1 xtra for webber), 7 C’s (+1 for Farke) and 5 D’s, with no E’s, F’s or G’s! Surely they are the grades of a promoted class? If Mr Watkins merited better than a G then I’d dread to see a player you deemed worthy of an actual G.
Given how our defence looked so hopeless every time Tettey hasn’t played and for a large part of the final 3rd of the season I’m not sure how those who generally made up the 4 man defence could all merit B or greater?
To be frank, I think anyone getting an A apart from star pupil Maddison is lunacy and symtomatic of the sort of Nanny state where no one should have their feelings hurt or poor egos bruised.
Bah!
Far too harsh on Farke.I honestly believe we would have been relegated without his input.
These are looking more like GCSE grades, rather than O-level marks (showing my age) but at least you remembered Franke…
No grade for the school cook? Personally I would give her a D. Now if we were to get in a foreign cook with ambition we could really go places. Sadly it’ll be down to the apprentice cook, Tom, to pick up the reins in years to come. That means a continuation in our poor school results with no financial incentives being earned by the team. So our chance of joining the Oxbridge schools in the higher eschelons remains no more than a pipedream.
The irony of referencing the Oxbridge schools as aspirational given Cambridge finished 12th in the 4th tier with Oxford 16th in the 3rd tier is not lost on me. With many feeling that Delia has no appetite for a PL return and with ongoing lack of investment will be taking us to those depths.
Bah!