Alex B is back with some light relief at a time when the nerves are starting to jangle. Feel free to add suggestions of your own in the comments…
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Okay, so in order to distract us from the angst that comes with a seven-game run-in that could lead us to a land of milk and honey, here are some song titles that sum up the current squad. Some are obscure and you may not recognise them but it’s just for fun.
Please take them with a big pinch of salt and, to be honest, not too many would be in my own playlist, but have a read and then see if you can come up with some alternatives.
I have also given my tongue-in-cheek reasons for my title choices. Here we go, in no particular order…
Team Farke: It’s a Miracle by Culture Club
Everyone’s expectations have been blown away with what has happened this season. I, for one, would have been happy with fighting for a playoff place but now we’re dreaming of being champions. It’s still a big if, but it would be great to be able to sing along to Queen’s We are the Champions while simultaneously waving goodbye to those in blue (for a few seasons at least).
Tim Krul: In Safe Hands by Badly Drawn Boy
Has proved most people wrong so far this season and his handling, when the pressure has been on, has been safe and sound.
Ben Godfrey: The Great Pretender by Freddy Mercury
Is he a defensive midfielder pretending to be a quality centre-back or vice-versa?
Christoph Zimmermann: Son of a Preacher Man by Dusty Springfield
Simple. He follows the preachings of Team Farke to the letter.
Mario Vrancic: Mr Dependable by Black King Cobra
Whether he plays from the start or comes on as a sub, Mr Dependable always delivers.
Moritz Leitner: Magic Moments by Perry Como
Has shown plenty of magic moments on the ball this season.
Jordan Rhodes: Take a Chance on Me by ABBA
He has been unlucky to have limited game time. But for Teemu Pukki…
Jamal Lewis: The Wonder of You by Elvis Presley
Has proved to be a wonder-ful addition to the team for the last two seasons. Long may it last.
Timm Klose: Solid by Ashford & Simpson
Another, like Vrancic, who always gives 100% every minute he is on the pitch.
Emi Buendia: Together in Electric Dreams by Phil Oakey and Giorgio Moroder
A cheesy one: He provides the electricity that creates our dreams during the games.
Marco Stiepermann: Man For All Seasons by Robbie Williams
For all seasons and all positions. No matter where he is asked to play, he’s another that gives 100% every single game.
Tom Trybull: The Enforcer by Monster Truck
Self-explanatory. Doesn’t take or give an inch.
Teemu Pukki: Light My Fire by The Doors
A freebie, who has fired us to the cusp of the Promised Land. He’s lit plenty of fires along the way.
Kenny McLean: At Last by Etta James
While the early part of career was hindered by injury, he is at last showing us what he is capable of.
Felix Passlack: Not Enough by Avril Lavigne
Has just not had enough game time to prove himself.
Onel Hernandez: Cuban Shuffle by Willem Hendrikse
Shows all the skill and flair of a Cuban dance every game.
Alex Tettey: Mr Impossible by Swollen Members [? – Ed]
Has proved in games this season that you can still teach an old dog new tricks
Grant Hanley: I Am a Rock by Simon & Garfunkel
He showed last season how important he is to this team. This season injuries have hampered his game time but still his influence is there for all to see.
Dennis Sbreny: Substitute by The Who
Scored lots of goals in Germany but hasn’t had game time to either adapt to the English game or prove he can. Had made an impact on the bench a few times and in the Carabao Cup.
Michael McGovern: It’s Time To Go by Chester See
A sadly apt title. Last season he was understudy to Angus Gunn and this season to Tim Krul. But when he has plays, he rarely lets anyone down and has proved to be a been a valuable squad member who has been at the forefront of recent post-match celebrations.
Todd Cantwell: My Time Has Come by Caliban
Has shown he can cut it at this level. Now just needs more game time.
Max Aarons: Road Runner by Junior Walker & the Allstars
The speed machine down City’s right flank. Could run all day.
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There we have Alex’s starter for ten. Now over to you…
A bit of fun.
Ben Godfrey- Perhaps “Stand up and Be Strong ” by Keb Mo would reflect his massive contribution to the team effort.
Thanks for the comment another song that fits the bill.
Bit obscure for me,
Hi Alex
Love “Substitute” for Srbeny!
I thought I’d have a brief look at the “dark side”.
Nelson Oliveira’s has to be Rebel Rebel (David Bowie), Yanick Wildschut gets Who Are You? (The Who) and Steven Naismith’s has unfortunately got to be Go Now (Moody Blues).
Chris Wilder can have Billy Hunt (the Jam) and Marcelo Bielsa gets My Camera Never Lies (Bucks Fizz), while Blackburn qualify for an entire album: Black and Blue (the Stones).
1p5wich get Rock Bottom (UFO) while their illustrious manager thoroughly deserves The Snake (Pink Fairies).
To end on a positive note I didn’t previously realise that back in the early 70s two of my favourite bands dedicated “The Wizard” to Daniel Farke (Black Sabbath and Uriah Heep).
Hi Martin
Yeah I thought about doing a similar one for the clubs as well.
Anyway just a bit of fun and I like you suggestions,
Thanks.
How about Status Quo Down Down that covers both Ipshite and PL
I reckon Freddie Mercury’s The Great Pretender would cover PL perfectly!
Did Dion do the original – no time to look it up!
first recorded by the Platters 1955
Bruce Springsteen’s “I’m Going Down” would equally apply to Town (it even rhymes) players too.
The entire squad: Let Me Entertain You by Queen
Or Robbie Williams!
Thanks.
Yeah that would be a great one fir the whole squad.
How about a new song for Teemu Pukki? (sung to the tune of itsy bitsy polka dot bikini)
He is an itsy bitsy
Yellow Greeny
Teemu Pukki
Goal machiney
And he scored for the first time today.
good twist on the song
Good One ! Can’t fail-can it??
Alternative (to tune Mighty Quinn)
“Goals for us, goals for him
You’ll not see nothing like the Mighty Finn”
Help (Beatles)-Paul Lambert
Mardy Bum (Arctic Monkeys)-Chris Wilder
Heaven Is A Place On Earth (Belinda Carlisle)-Carrow Road
It’s Oh So Quiet (Bjork)-Portman Road
Ain’t No Pleasing You (Chas’n’Dave)-Jeff
Train In Vain (Clash)-Ivo Pinto
I Don’t Want To Go To Chelsea (Elvis Costello)-Our players who have become transfer targets
Be My Prisoner (The Lurkers)-Tom Trybul as he marks another player out of the game
EMI (Sex Pistols)-Emi
Nervous Wreck (Radio Stars)-Me during pretty much every game.
great suggestions thanks possibly nowhere man for Wildshut would add to list
Love ’em! All of them. Especially Train in Vain.
I’m sticking by Billy Hunt for Wilder though – he is a Billy without a doubt
As for the Binners, La Tristesse Durera by the .Manics is rather appropriate, as in Vincent van Gogh’s statement: this sadness will go on.
I’ll end with my ultimate accolade to Marcus Evans: Empty Words by Rich Kids.
Another for Oliveria could be Fool on the Hill by The Beatles just think without a hissyfit and learnt to adapt what he might have achieved under Team Farke
Hernandez: Live it up – mental as anything
Zimmermann: The wall – Pink Floyd
Naismith: Unforgiven – Metallica
Ipswich: Down down – Status quo
Paul Lambert: The snake – Al Wilson
Paul Lambert: F#ck you – Ceelo Green
Max Arrons: Speedy Gonzales – Pat Boone
Farke: Walk on Water – Creedance CR,
Norwich: with a little help from my friends – the beatles
Max and Todd: Teenage kicks – the undertones
Kevin Muscat: I hate your guts – Pride and glory
Pukki: It must be love – Madness
Tettey: The trooper – Iron maiden
Thompson: Louie Louie – Motorhead
Farke: Wild horses – Stones
Leitner: Middleman – Terrorvision
Vrancic: Take a look around – Limp Bizkit
Carrow road: House of fun – Madness
Pukki: Can’t stop – RHCP
Buendia: Given to fly – Pearl jam
Bah!
Lambert: Die Laughing – Therapy
I guess I’m over-posting today (music grabs me that way) but I love all of your selections too.
I fractionally beat you to The Snake, but with a different artist, which keeps it interesting!
And as you mentioned Creedence CR I’ll add Graveyard Train for 1p5wich. And surmise the Kaiser Chiefs’ Every Day I Love You Less And Less for the views of their followers towards Lambert.
At season’s end I will definitely concur with The Faces: Had Me a Real Good Time.
Well as one trained and involved in Classical music my knowledge of pop is somewhat sketchy, at least post-70s, so much of the above I’ve never heard of (apart from the players, obviously…)
But here’s a few pieces I do know:
Prokofiev, Dance of the Knights from Romeo and Juliet, aka theme for “the Apprentice” – Aarons, Cantwell, Lewis, Godfrey, take your pick
Elgar, The Wand of Youth suite – Emi Buendia, magical
Sibelius, Finlandia – Teemu Pukki, obviously
Mendelssohn Symphony no. 3, “The Scottish” – Kenny McLean
Mendelssohn Symphony no. 4 “The Italian” – situation vacant (have we ever had an Italian player on the books?)
Mendelssohn Hebrides Overture – Lewis
Rossini, William Tell overture, aka The Lone Ranger – normally Teemu Pukki, sometimes Jordan Rhodes, or if you want an awful pun, Neil Adams
Wagner, The Flying Dutchman – Tim Krull
Haydn String Quartet No 76, “The Emperor”, which is the source of the tune of the German National anthem – Herrs Farke and Zimmermann
Haydn Symphony No 94, “The Surprise” – the whole team
Dvorak New World Symphony – what the PL will be for most of our squad, if we get there of course….
Verdi, Aida – the Triumphal March – hopefully round the city on a bus
Verdi, La Traviata, Drinking Song – insert your own ideas, I don’t fancy being sued for libel
Vivaldi, The Four Seasons – how long Fulham were officially a PL club
Chopin, Minute waltz – added time when we’re desperate for an equaliser, or in days gone by Wes (what do you mean it’s not that pronunciation of “Minute”?)
Ketelby, In a Persian market – as yet undiscovered by Onel Hernandez, but when he’s fed up of shopping at Argos, who knows?
Rossini, The Thieving Magpie – Rafel Benitez, . Ok that’s a bit harsh, in truth he paid a fair price for Jacob
Tchaikovsky, 1812 Overture – the last time I can remember them down the road beating us
and talking of whom, let’s finish with
Haydn Symphony No. 45 …. the Farewell
Thanks keith great suggestion and completely knocked me for 6 only a few I have heard of from your list but a great take my original list
I should really leave this one to MFW’s very own Stewart who is very much a fan of classical music but in the meantime I can honestly say I have heard every one of your selections with the exception of Ketelby, of whom I’ve never heard of, if you see what I mean.
The Four Seasons suite would be my personal pick of your mentions. Wonderful.
Perhaps we should dedicate Handel’s Water Music to Hull City’s groundstaff.
Great stuff, Keith.
Being a Wagner fan, I can’t resist The Mastersingers for City’s midfield. And in contrast, the final part of the Ring (“Twilight of the Idols”) for Paul Lambert and Luke Chambers.
Some Ipswich posters on social media (and indeed, some from Leeds and Sheffield) are reminiscent of Berlioz’s Symphonie Fantastique: the drug-fuelled ravings of a poet’s deluded imagination.
Let’s hope Daniel Farke’s reign, like Schubert’s 8th Symphony, is distinctly Unfinished.
Great stuff Alex and all.
Being a Motown addict I’ll go for:
Living for the City – Stevie W – for all the fans
Cloud Nine – Temps – for the whole club
Heaven must have sent you – The Elgins – Daniel Farke & Stuart Webber
What’s going on – Marvin Gaye – Ipswich
Nowhere to Run – Martha Reeves – Ipswich
Tears of a Clown – Smokey R – Everyone in the media who have been dismissive of our season thus far.
I absolutely love Martha Reeves and the Vandellas, the Tops, Marvin and Gladys Knight in no particular order of preference.
My favourite Motown group is the Temptations – David Ruffin, what a voice. No-one can top Papa was a Rolling Stone.
Although I’m basically a metalhead I’ve always appreciated different genres – and thanks to Alex B for creating it we’ve collectively enjoyed some really good comments today. I’m an old muso so I would say that of course, but it’s true.
When The Jam covered Heatwave I was in heaven!
And although Sam Cooke slightly predates Motown it shouldn’t be too long until we’re collectively Twistin’ the Night Away. Especially after QPR.
Went to a Motown evening at Ronnie Scott’s just prior to Xmas, just awesome!
Been invited to Box at New White Hart Lane week Saturday, just awesome.
Can’t wait for QPR then Reading at The Carra, just awesome.
How lucky can one guy get!
Martin we’ll be having a party on our way to the wonderful world of the premier league.
Bah!
I must say thanks for all the comments. I started this off as a bit of fun and had no idea Gary would put it on the site but has proved worth it for all the comments.
My music varies from the Platters to Motown, Terry and leader of the pack to Led Zep, Meatloaf and most other till about 1990, when I think it went crazy with not much feeling. Possibly because of sitting in an office with people playing too much Britney, but slowly it has started to brighten up.
Thanks for all the comments