Alex B is back with some light relief at a time when the nerves are starting to jangle. Feel free to add suggestions of your own in the comments…
Okay, so in order to distract us from the angst that comes with a seven-game run-in that could lead us to a land of milk and honey, here are some song titles that sum up the current squad. Some are obscure and you may not recognise them but it’s just for fun.
Please take them with a big pinch of salt and, to be honest, not too many would be in my own playlist, but have a read and then see if you can come up with some alternatives.
I have also given my tongue-in-cheek reasons for my title choices. Here we go, in no particular order…
Team Farke: It’s a Miracle by Culture Club
Everyone’s expectations have been blown away with what has happened this season. I, for one, would have been happy with fighting for a playoff place but now we’re dreaming of being champions. It’s still a big if, but it would be great to be able to sing along to Queen’s We are the Champions while simultaneously waving goodbye to those in blue (for a few seasons at least).
Tim Krul: In Safe Hands by Badly Drawn Boy
Has proved most people wrong so far this season and his handling, when the pressure has been on, has been safe and sound.
Ben Godfrey: The Great Pretender by Freddy Mercury
Is he a defensive midfielder pretending to be a quality centre-back or vice-versa?
Christoph Zimmermann: Son of a Preacher Man by Dusty Springfield
Simple. He follows the preachings of Team Farke to the letter.
Mario Vrancic: Mr Dependable by Black King Cobra
Whether he plays from the start or comes on as a sub, Mr Dependable always delivers.
Moritz Leitner: Magic Moments by Perry Como
Has shown plenty of magic moments on the ball this season.
Jordan Rhodes: Take a Chance on Me by ABBA
He has been unlucky to have limited game time. But for Teemu Pukki…
Jamal Lewis: The Wonder of You by Elvis Presley
Has proved to be a wonder-ful addition to the team for the last two seasons. Long may it last.
Timm Klose: Solid by Ashford & Simpson
Another, like Vrancic, who always gives 100% every minute he is on the pitch.
Emi Buendia: Together in Electric Dreams by Phil Oakey and Giorgio Moroder
A cheesy one: He provides the electricity that creates our dreams during the games.
Marco Stiepermann: Man For All Seasons by Robbie Williams
For all seasons and all positions. No matter where he is asked to play, he’s another that gives 100% every single game.
Tom Trybull: The Enforcer by Monster Truck
Self-explanatory. Doesn’t take or give an inch.
Teemu Pukki: Light My Fire by The Doors
A freebie, who has fired us to the cusp of the Promised Land. He’s lit plenty of fires along the way.
Kenny McLean: At Last by Etta James
While the early part of career was hindered by injury, he is at last showing us what he is capable of.
Felix Passlack: Not Enough by Avril Lavigne
Has just not had enough game time to prove himself.
Onel Hernandez: Cuban Shuffle by Willem Hendrikse
Shows all the skill and flair of a Cuban dance every game.
Alex Tettey: Mr Impossible by Swollen Members [? – Ed]
Has proved in games this season that you can still teach an old dog new tricks
Grant Hanley: I Am a Rock by Simon & Garfunkel
He showed last season how important he is to this team. This season injuries have hampered his game time but still his influence is there for all to see.
Dennis Sbreny: Substitute by The Who
Scored lots of goals in Germany but hasn’t had game time to either adapt to the English game or prove he can. Had made an impact on the bench a few times and in the Carabao Cup.
Michael McGovern: It’s Time To Go by Chester See
A sadly apt title. Last season he was understudy to Angus Gunn and this season to Tim Krul. But when he has plays, he rarely lets anyone down and has proved to be a been a valuable squad member who has been at the forefront of recent post-match celebrations.
Todd Cantwell: My Time Has Come by Caliban
Has shown he can cut it at this level. Now just needs more game time.
Max Aarons: Road Runner by Junior Walker & the Allstars
The speed machine down City’s right flank. Could run all day.
There we have Alex’s starter for ten. Now over to you…