All the nightmares came today, and it seems as though they’re here to stay, was written and sung by somebody in 1971. Nearly all of us will own a CD, album or mp3 download created by him.
To the very few of the MFW community who don’t know who I’m referring to, please feel free to go to the end of this article now for the answer (but please come back to the top afterwards!).
Well, the Norwich City “nightmares” did indeed come today, in the shape of our 2019-2020 Premier League fixtures release.
Not that they’re that nightmarish in themselves – we knew they were coming down the track and that we have to play nineteen other teams, home and away over a 38-game season
MFW’s Will Jennings got his wish – we’ve got a massive club away on the first day of the season, and indeed we feature in the first Sky TV match of the campaign. A 20:00 Friday kick-off against Liverpool at Anfield on August 9.
Kind of brings home the reality of the Premier League, doesn’t it?
When it was apparently accidentally leaked yesterday that we’d be taking on Tottenham at the new White Hart Lane I spoke to one of my Spurs mates, Nicky, who confirmed to the very best of his knowledge this was more truth than rumour. And he was proved utterly wrong.
Archant’s Paddy Davitt got it right when he said this has “all the hallmarks of a hoax” of course.
Nicky’s additional comments were a little disconcerting.
“Your lot have to play the Champions League finalists, away, in front of the Sky cameras on the first day of the season? Well, I hope you enjoy it but I doubt you will”.
There then followed so much one-sided laughter that I had to take the Samsung (other mobile communications devices are available) away from my ear.
A little bit of good-natured Sweary Mary then ensued between us. I can’t wait to phone him later even if just to use the word “gullible”. No Nicky, not the Champions League finalists for us – the winners. He he.
Regular MFW readers will know that Tottenham are my second team – and I cannot wait to see the new version of White Hart Lane. I’ll actually be with Nicky and some of his mates on the day and am looking forward to seeing whichever part of the new stadium they are in – it used to be the Paxton at WHL proper – but I’ll find out on the day.
As for the rest of the list, I’ll pick out just a few.
The Christmas period has been relatively kind to us as in Villa away on Boxing Day and Palace at home on New Year’s Day.
The thought of Palace away fills me full of dread at the best of times so thank the Lord we’re at home as we enter 2020.
I’ll fast forward to our final quintet, and this time around the furious five is such a mixed bag.
Watford away, West Ham at home, Chelsea away, Burnley home and Man City away.
Cliché time: let’s hope we don’t need anything from the last game of the season!
Returning to my Tottenham friend Nicky, I invariably have a bevvy or two with him whenever Spurs come to town. He is a very regular away traveller and is always near the top of their visiting allocation list. He’s never had a problem sitting with his “own kind” so has never needed to ask me for a ticket for Carrow Road.
Which brings me on to my Arsenal mate Dave. Oh, c’mon, we’ve all got an Arsenal mate. I may be the only one who openly admits to it but we all know it’s true.
Now I’ve got a problem here, created by Norwich City Football Club’s membership scheme revamp. Dave is a true gent and I’ve always got him a ticket in the Barclay when the Gooners come to us. He wears no obvious colours when he attends the Barclay, as I never did at Highbury and do not at the Emirates. It’s a reciprocal, long-standing arrangement between good mates.
Sure every Norwich supporter has priority over absolutely anybody else when it comes to tickets for Carrow Road. I well understand that.
But try to get a casual away ticket from Arsenal themselves – it’s almost impossible says Dave, whose Emirates season ticket costs him only slightly south of £1,500 per season.
From the sound of things I’m going to have to pull out every trick in the book (nothing illegal or immoral I swear) to acquire Dave a ticket this time around. To my mind, he’s just as deserving as one of our local, casual once-a-seasoner who follows other teams – but I admit I’m biased because he’s a good mate (even though I much prefer Spurs to his mob) and a very genuine football supporter.
I’ll have an even bigger problem with my friends from Brighton – not so long ago they, Mrs P and I all sat together, although I had to move from the Barclay to the South Stand to achieve that. They always get me a ticket for the Amex.
I’ll just have to hope they can get tickets for Carrow Road at their end this time around.
Cos it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to help them.
Being selfish this whole farrago is a cause of only minor inconvenience to me, but when Ben Kensall uses the phrase “managing loyalty” my mind turns to George Orwell.
I got a standard season ticket holders’ email from the club around 18:30 last night explaining the new system. Cheers guys, better late than never.
Despite all that, I’m still looking forward to the season immensely and this faux pas will blow over quite quickly I feel.
Nightmares? not really. Seeing the names of some of those teams on our fixture list does set the odd butterfly flying in the tummy though. Especially considering 1/38 and 38/38
Strangely I couldn’t find 1p5wich Down on the fixture list anywhere. I’ll take a look at the Championship fixtures this time next week to see if I can find them there. I’m not entirely certain that I will.
And for the presumably less than five per cent of MFW folks who didn’t know who I was referring to at the top… try this.
Hi Martin
Well we truly got the 2 big ones for the first and last games.
Let’s hope that Liverpool are slow out of the blocks and City have sewn up 3 in a row to put out a weakened side or are about to play the CL final.
Sky have Pearce on this morning talking the usual crap. I use to like him as a player but as a pundit not so much – he keeps saying I would do this a manager, when will he realise his time is over and he is biased against any team that he hasn’t been with and already writing off all promoted clubs.
Onwards and upwards
OTBC
Hi Alex
I can’t really claim to be a fan of Stuart Pearce – neither as a player as a pundit – but I have to admit he left nothing on the pitch in the days when that cliché wasn’t really in general use.
I don’t really listen to the pundits too much but in fairness to them of course they’re going to write us off before a ball has even been kicked.
Should Daniel need to gee up the team the views of others such as this could be very helpful to him in motivational terms.
Mind you I cannot blame Sky for selecting this match – Champions League winners against EFL Championship winners is a natural!
Thanks as always.
Hi Martin
I just wonder how Liverpool will cope with the rule changes and VAR
They had lots of free kicks in their favor with Saleh falling like a leaf in the wind both in abd out of the penalty area.
Penalties that should gave gone to opposing teams at Anfield might now be given, and Milner will possibly see a few reds with his professional fouls.
Can they adapt to the new rules
Hi Alex
My main worry about VAR is that nobody (including referees) has really been that exposed to it in the sense of everyday PL fixtures.
With my pessimistic head on I can envisage the normal 90+5 or whatever match becoming 100+5.
Plus if a team builds up a head of steam, “scores” and VAR overturns it on a fractional decision they’ll surely – and unfairly – deflate like an Austin 1100 with hydrolastic suspension.
I’m against it myself but I understand why other folks think differently.
Far more preferable to me would be a decent referee with a pair of assistants who were physically fit enough to be up with play at all times. Most Refs are incredibly fit anyway.
Goal-line technology would suffice for me.
Maybe one of our more technically-minded MFW writers will examine the topic during the summer.
Cheers.
Love your come back on Nicky, great humour once again.
Liverpool away on a Friday night in front of TV millions,(we don’t lose when on live tv), first home game since being crowned European Champions.Oh my, a dream fixture for us and one that for most will be the highest profile game they have ever been involved in, DF included plus it’s against his friend and compatriot.
The last time we played Liverpool was the match where we grabbed defeat from the jaws of victory, I’ll never forget having to leave the sports bar at 3-3 due to unbearable stress of it all and missing their winner somehow knowing it was inevitable anyway.
Newcastle at home to follow will be a fantastic occasion too, it’s great to experience a surge in excitement and it’s only mid June. For Fans of the big clubs fixture list day is of only passing interest, how good does it feel for all the newly promoted teams.
Time to calm down and enjoy Duckworth Lewis World Cup cricket!
Hi Colin
Yeah the dialogue with Nicky is banter at its best!
My Arsenal mate Dave has promised me a couple of MFW previews and if I can stop giggling for long enough while talking to him they should make a good read.
Klopp and Farke are indeed well known to each other. I can picture Jurgen praising us to the hilt after the final whistle when Liverpool have stuffed us 5-0. Only joshing. I hope.
Newcastle will be interesting. Will we face Mr Murphy? Doubt it. Senor Benitez? Who knows. That game will be a fair old yardstick for our season I reckon.
As for the cricket I know a few folks who applied to the ECB for tickets and couldn’t get them. At least they won’t have to turn up for “match abandoned without a ball being bowled”.
It’s hissing down in the City just now. And will be for some time by the looks of it.
Thanks as ever.
How did anyone fall for the supposed leaked fixtures? They had sky down to show a 12:30 Saturday kick off… BT are doing those.
Hi Ady
My mate Nicky fell for it:-)
Mind you, he does work in insurance…
I must admit I thought it might have been real for a while until, like you, I realised the early KOs are covered by BT and not Sky.
Thank you.
Arsenal, Chelsea and City in the last 4 away games – definitely going to need lots of points in the bag by Easter.
There’s always a lot of luck with the timing of fixtures, especially in the Pl. there’s always somebody that underperforms abysmally early on – let’s hope it’s Burnley or Palace or West Spam, and we can kick them whilst they’re down. It doesn’t look as though we’ll get to play Wolves whilst they are still pre-occupied with Europe, unless they do particularly well. But Man U at the end of October, let’s just hope they’ve been in some far flung Eastern European city on the Thursday night beforehand.
Re your Arsenal mate “To my mind, he’s just as deserving as one of our local, casual once-a-seasoner who follows other teams ”
Yes, agreed. But not more deserving than the club’s long-standing exiles who don’t support anyone else, nor indeed the local child who may be the long-term fan of the future (or even those recently moved to the city, to UEA for example, who haven’t previously been fans anywhere and want to start following us).
Maybe they will expand the ground one day, though not soon. If they do the trouble that would cause whilst they rebuild one side of the ground would be out of all proportion to this.
PS Naturally I am one of the < 5% who didn't recognise the lyric and had to follow the link to see where it comes from – know the song now, though I wouldn't have done in 1971, and never bought any of his stuff. Truth is I rarely remember words even of things I've sung or listened to hundreds of times anyway. Though I do know my scrimmage from my scrummage….
Keith: depending on your taste, you have a treat in store. Not only is Oh, You Pretty Things a fine song, it’s from one of the all-time great albums (in my humble opinion), Hunky Dory.
Martin: thanks for that treat. Oh, and for a good article too.
Hi Stew
As you’ll know, Bowie used the “cut-up” technique for a lot of his early lyrics which makes them so enigmatic and enticing in equal proportions.
Hunky Dory is excellent indeed, but having a penchant for the heavier side of musical life The Man Who Sold The World will always be my favourite, closely followed by Ziggy in America, aka Aladdin Sane.
Gary sourced the clip – I’d never seen it before myself.
Thanks.
Indeed. An example of the cut-up technique (with some added order, I believe) is a more famous song from that Hunky Dory album, Life on Mars. Specially notable for its mention of the Norfolk Broads, of course.
Agreed.
From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads! And who else would include pieces called Kooks and Queen Bitch? Dunno if Lou Reed enjoyed the latter. Hopefully as it was an acknowledgement of something (or other).
I derive a certain satisfaction from appreciating David Bowie before “Ziggy” was released, as I guess you might too.
Station to Station is probably still my favourite individual track.
What we require this season is more Heroes than Low of course:-)
Hi Keith – great comment as always.
Your point about “exiled” Yellows is a very valid one. I lived in London until the late 1980s and was never sure when I could move here permanently (1988 was “touchdown year” to be precise) so I would occasionally stay with my ex-wife’s uncle or do a 240-mile round trip. You could reserve by phone and pay at the ticket office even then and if I was “lodging” with Wally he would sort our tickets beforehand anyway.
This was all if I could get time off work so night matches were invariably off the menu.
It’s obviously frustrating for so many people and lots of younger folks have mentioned that our fanbase is ageing by the day. I’m 61 and have no intention of giving up my ST. My longest-standing Carrow Road buddy (also a Keith) is closer to 80 than 70 and he feels exactly the same.
To me the only answer is stadium expansion but it would appear to be so problematic that nobody knows how to achieve that.
An increase of 5,000 in capacity would solve the problem but a surveyor friend tells me that it’s not as simple as building on top of the current City Stand because the current infrastructure could not cope with the addition so it would be a case of razing it to the ground and starting again.
Megabucks and extremely time-consuming.
I wish I knew the answer but frankly I don’t.
ps don’t worry – if I wasn’t a Bowie fan I might not have recognised the lyrics either – they just seemed so appropriate.
Thank you.
I think it’s the perfect opening fixture for us. No expectations from anyone but ourselves, we can go and express ourselves and show the EPL just what’s in store for the rest of them.
And because I’ve laid out my £50, I hope to be there!!
Hi Derek
I had the privilege of being on the Kop for the very last time it stood as the original edifice.
I had to go to an ink factory in Huyton for work on the Friday and supervisor Tony asked me if I wanted to take his pal Fergie’s ticket and stop over for a day or so to go to the game with him.
Phone call home done – what an experience. Obviously I kept my gob shut on the Kop but Tony untactfully told his mates I was a Norwich fan. Nobody threatened me when Gossy scored though or at any subsequent point!
It’s the only time I’ve ever been there but the atmosphere was truly incredible, especially for me, being with some of the Liverpool fans before, during and after.
Good luck in the “ballot” – you’ll really enjoy the experience. I know I did.
Thank you.
What an experience and all because of sheer luck and nice people
Hi Martin
I’m quite pleased that we’ve got the first game on the Friday evening, as I’m flying to Portugal for a one week River cruise on the 10th, and not getting back on the 17th in time for the Magpies game, so at least I’ll get to see us start the season off, albeit on Sky. Not sure if it’s best to start with the Champions League winners, but hey ho, we’ve got to play them and beat them at some stage.
Didn’t recognise your lyric at the start, I’m not into this modern music! Give us some 50’s or 60’s!
Hi Jim
I’ve only ever been to the Algarve – not for golf or a cruise, just a cheap beach week – but I had a thoroughly good time – we ate fish, fish and more fish!
As somebody has said elsewhere when we look at 1/38 and 38/38, the fixture gurus certainly have a sense of humour.
I can’t do the 1950s apart from retrospectively Buddy Holly and a few bluesmen, but I grew up with The Who, Stones, Kinks, Cream, Yardbirds and Small Faces.
I guess “Substitute” would have been very appropriate for Jordan Rhodes last season.
Thank you.
Everyone seems to be going on about the final 4 fixtures, but compared to Sheffield Utd or Villa, we’ve got one hell of a start??? European Champions; Europa League winners; and the Premier League Champions all in the first 5 games……why didn’t they add in both Spurs and Arsenal before the end of September then we could have three months of relative calm!!
For me, what an opportunity to show people like Moose and Brazil that we truly do deserve to be in amongst these “Super Clubs”!!!
O T B C
Hi John
I agree. But to use a cliché we have to play them all (twice) at some point so maybe it might be better to “learn what it’s really all about” early on? I simply dunno.
As for the likes of Moose and Brazil, we’ll get a lot more of that next season. And from quite a few other sources as well, won’t we Mr Lineker?
Thank you.