I’ve worked all over the place – and I know I’m not alone in that amongst the MFW community. This dubious privilege has taught me a few valuable lessons in life, of course.
The best authentic Chinese food is to be found in London’s Limehouse. This was the original Chinese settlement in England long before Soho’s Chinatown and Manchester’s Chinese quarter offered Hong Kong style, western-directed offerings.
Paella should only be eaten in Spain, the best place to share a chateaubriand is Paris and the chips and gravy enjoyed by many Mancunians is exquisite. Honest.
The best Balti and Curry houses are located in the West Midlands, which is no big secret but I can vouch it is true.
The North East is famous for its pie & peas, lemon tops, journey into space [a session on Newcastle Brown Ale] and the phrase Why-aye man, shite. It’s constant use from south of Middlesbrough to north of Gateshead is ubiquitous.
And that’s what I have to say about Saturday. Why-aye man, shite.
We have done something very serious to annoy the football gods. All blo0dy season.
How didn’t we win that one at St James’ Park?
Some twenty shots, several on target and a goalkeeper in Martin Dubravka who is consistently in the form of his life. He’s so good that several Mags on social media are fearing he will be snapped up in the summer by a team of greater ambition.
For all those who say Teemu Pukki has hit a wall, frankly, I’m not sure. He still made those intelligent runs, hit a belter from range but completely stuffed up yet another one on one against the keeper and it’s odds-on he will try and play the ball across the keeper. Maybe he’s been a little bit “worked out”.
My personal jury’s out on this “topic”. You tell me.
The Joelinton header kept out by Tim Krul was Newcastle’s only real chance. They played with five at the back at home. Not out of respect for us but because it’s the only way Brucie [or cabbage-head as many Magpie supporters rather rudely reference him] knows.
I wouldn’t want to turn up to see that lot every week but they are virtually safe. Ain’t no justice in this PL world, hey?
Anyway we must move on. We now need a minimum of 20 points from 13 games. Six wins and two draws. Possible? Sure. Likely? I fear not. What have we got to worry about anyway – it’s only Liverpool at home next in the 17:30 and Citeh away in the last match of the season. So that really means 20 points from eleven games are required.
Daniel Farke’s “little miracle” is assuming awesome proportions.
His post-match interview seemed to say: Ich bin wirklich sauer. I’m sure MFW’s Martin MacB will correct me if I’m wrong with that one but I bet y’all know what I mean anyway.
We’re all sauer, Daniel. Just like you we’ve reason to be – we have had no luck at all this season and that’s for sure.
And now we’ve got nearly a fortnight off, which I’d rather we didn’t have. But we don’t make the rules, we must obey them.
Why-aye man, shite.
I thought I’d end with a couple of observations from the wider footie world at the weekend, as I occasionally do.
A big thumbs down to the pair of eejit Bournemouth fans who thought it was “funny” to wear coronavirus masks with their club badge on.
Guess what lads? It wasn’t funny. It was pathetic.
Although I laughed at the 1p5wich-Peterborough result I’m not born and bred so probably most of our readers laughed even more than me. And I laughed a lot. They’re officially not even the second-best club in Anglia any more – look at the EFL1 table, ha ha!
Final word must go to EFL on Quest’s Colin Murray, who described Posh forwards Sammie Szmodics, Ivan Toney and Striki Dembele as STD. He said they were infectious.
That’s how to be witty without causing offence, you Cherry eejits.
Good morning Martin after another ‘if only’ performance.
To say I’m livid after watching the Spurs V Citeh game is an understatement. I’d LOVE Mike Riley or someone from PGMOL to explain why Godfrey’s tackle was worthy of a red card, but Sterling’s was not. Goodness only knows why both Liverpool and Saints didn’t have a penalty apiece – until you realise that our Simon Hooper was the VAR referee and our ‘friend’ Kevin Friend was the referee. If anything Sterling’s tackle was worse than Godfrey’s and it just adds to the conspiracy theory!!!!
Now I’ve had my rant, back to discussing Saturday’s game. Gary hit exactly the right note in his article yesterday when he said that we are on the brink of being a team that’s quite capable of becoming a permanent member of the PL, but I feel that the ‘powers that be’ must dread us succeeding in DF’s ‘little miracle’, as if we can do it , then other clubs may dare to attempt to go down the same route, where the norm is that when a team is promoted is they throw vast amounts of money on players who may or may not fit into the team – Fulham last season and Villa this.
I’m positive that the majority of our fans would rather see us godown the route we’ve taken than buy expensive players who are only here for the money. Conversely, there is a handful who would like to see Delia and Michael ‘hand over the reigns’, but I’m not part of that group.
Gary also mentioned in his article how the players are trying everything in their powers to amass the points needed to avoid the trapdoor, but their efforts seem to be in vain.
Unfortunately, Pukki has hit a barren spell (or not as you say in your article) and no one else seems to be able to ‘step up to the plate’ and score the goals necessary for us to start winning games. As you say, he nearly always tries to shoot across the GK and he has been sussed – I still fancy him to score in our next game!!! Why is it that if a GK is going to play ‘a blinder’ it’s always when they play us????
I don’t know why, but I still feel that the team is capable of winning at least one game comfortably – I’d love to see it, as I’m sure ALL the NCFC fans at CR would.
We now head into our winter break and we’ll know on Wednesday evening whether we’re heading to the ‘New Lane’ or St Mary’s for the next stage of our ‘Cup Run’.
To suggest that a “handful” of city supporters wish smith to hand over the reins is absolute nonsense.
I reckon the split on that one is currently probably around 60:40 in favour of leave [please, pretty please.]
But I have no spirit left for another referendum of any kind!
Couldn’t let that comment slip through Martin!
Ha!
Agreed. I’d say to all the people who want Delia & Michael to remain is ‘What purpose do they serve Norwich City Football Club and how does their failure to spend with either their own money or from outside investment help the football club in either the short or longer term?
Hi IR.
I’d say that is a very objective question to pose.
Delia’s “figurehead” or “focal point” days are long gone.
We’d all agree she doesn’t have the financial clout to “help us out”.
So surely somebody else should be offered a chance otherwise we’ll always be stuck in this bubble. A South Sea bubble.
Thank you.
Yes, I had to clap Murray’s line.
You forgot stottie cakes in Newcastle and oatcakes in Stoke, both delicious when you’re there but not particularly missed when you’re not.
If I was a fan of another club I’d look at the table and think that Norwich have no chance of staying up. However, part of me just can’t get my head round how a team that plays such good football can be bottom of the league. We’ve only won four all season so to get 20 points in the games remaining seems unlikely…but not impossible.
If the worst comes to the worst and we’re a gonner ‘ere, at least we’ll have Mr Murray’s comments to look forward to next season.
Hi Don.
Stottie cakes I have sampled but oatcakes Potteries-style I haven’t.
The Steve McQueen job is not impossible as we agree but it does seem rather more unlikely with every passing round of matches. There’s a great parallel there as McQueen was highly entertaining but didn’t make it. No stuntmen either – it was him on the bike all the time apparently.
Gonner ‘ere? Good one! Colin Murray would appreciate that line I’m sure.
Cheers.
Morning Ed.
Rant? Common sense I’d say. VAR in its current form is as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.
Gary G, myself, yourself and several others have said we’re “so near yet so far” and we can’t all be wrong, can we? I honestly find this squad so hard to criticise and even more difficult to dislike.
As for the oppo keeper syndrome you’re quite right of course – Dubravka isn’t the only one to have played a blinder against us by any means.
I beg to differ on the Delia question but only in that I think those who would like to see her and MWJ depart with genuine dignity numbers far more than a handful. But as she’s totally intransigent it’s not likely that she’d hand over the reins to anybody but nephew Tom, who at least seems to have a bit of nous when it comes to football, its finances and it politics.
My money’s on Spurs, although if I’ve ever seen a side improve after a disastrous start to a season it’s Soton. We’ll see.
Thanks as always.
Morning, Martin. Your German, to me seems spot on….but I only got a ‘B’ and my teacher hated me….so of course I could well be wrong!
I enjoyed the read and the nod to the regions. I’ll add to it and say the best cider is in Somerset!
I still think the great escape is on…. fanciful thinking perhaps… and at some point we will run out of games….
the most galling aspect of the whole situation is that we are playing so well! Would be easier to take if we weren’t….
if only the midfield could chip in with some goals we’d fly up the table. A little run is all we need, look at Saints post their 9-0….
Hi Martin.
Yes this situation we find ourselves in would be easier to take if we were carp I agree. It’s amazing that Emi has yet to score this season. Only Todd has made a contribution from midfield – so far.
I think his bookings are starting to outweigh his goals though.
Glad the German was correct – our City neighbour Zoltan is Hungarian, speaks pretty good German and told me the phrase so I put it into Google Translate and it didn’t countermand him so off I went.
Somerset cider? No. For me it’s Henry Westons oak aged vintage every time. Courtesy of Much Marcle Herefordshire.
I must have shares in the Company by now.
Cheers (hic).
The in-laws are from Herefordshire so am well acquainted with Mr Weston.
I’ll see your Henry Weston’s and raise you a Thatcher’s vintage… nectar of the gods.
To be consumed over a Delia debate and policing in the 1960s of course:
Back to NCFC, we are so very close. Onel never looks like he will score and Stipermann is a little out of his depth. So we were hopeful of Emi scoring and glad Cantwell has. A further 12 goals from midfield spaced over the season would certainly have got us over the line in a few recent games.
Duda signed too late? Shades of Dean Ashton….?
I don’t think Duda was available at the beginning of the season and most certainly not at a price we would have been prepared to pay anyway.
His January arrival smacks of the old “everyone’s a winner” move in that Hertha Berlin get a sizeable loan fee, we get what looks like a very talented player, said player puts himself in the shop window for a summer move and all parties are happy.
Especially Duda’s agent, I guess:-)
Martin,
These ‘ere football gods really dont like us do they. On the field , off the field , in training just everywhere.
BUT did we tempt the fetes by saying we are favourites for 20 th place before the season started. In a perverse manner these gods heard our comments and are doing all they can to facilitate our unspoken desires.
Cobblers , we really have had the wrong end of the stick on most of the var , and lack of var , decisions all season.
Score against a big side and up pops var to find an excuse near the half way line to disallow the goal, often going back 15 seconds of real playing time. Score against Norwich and var doesn’t go back 11 seconds to the clear and obvious mistake by the ref that led directly to a goal.
So in conclusion we really have peed off the football gods .STD its contagious, and funny .
Hi Bernie.
I’m starting to think these football gods wear red shirts and invite the Stockley Park team to their banquets in Valhalla or wherever on a regular basis.
Bl00dy Vikings!
I understand why Farke took the 20th place stance at the beginning of the season but it seems to be the original self-fulfilling prophecy unfortunately.
To me Colin’s quip had more than a tinge of the Two Ronnies about it and certainly didn’t appear to be scripted. I’m glad the pc mob didn’t edit it out between Saturday night and Sunday morning. Maybe it was a little too subtle for the Quest editors – the BBC blue pencil folks would never have allowed that one through a second time!
Cheers me ole Walrus.
I’ve been to a couple of Countdown recordings when Colin Murray has been the dictionary corner guest and he’s a great guy.
He’s very relaxed and friendly with the audience, always has a good anecdote to tell (often self-deprecating) and doesn’t seem to have that smug self-importance that some of these people have. Some of the guests pick up words from Susie Dent and make it look as if they’ve spotted them themselves, but what he declares he gets himself.
Hi Keith
I don’t watch daytime TV so I’m ashamed to say I’ve never seen Colin Murray [or anybody else] in dictionary corner on Countdown.
He is very often self deprecating indeed and I reckon he’s a natural presenter. The Quest show is great and I really like it which is just as well as we’ll be a regular feature therein for 20-21.
I cannot think of a football show presenter who is genuinely self-importantly smug except… I think we all know the answer to that one.
Thanks.
Not seen Quest – not even sure it’s selected as an option on our box – but in truth I watch very little TV, and most of what I do I record and watch in batches.
Hi Keith
It’s on Freeview 12 and I always watch it on a Sunday between 1000 and 1200. It’s also available on the proceeding Saturday night.
I recommend it, I really do.
Hi Martin
Another good read.
As with you I have spent many years working but I have always been of the opinion that the best chips I have ever had comes from Gt Yarmouth Market and the tripe isn’t to bad.
Just sitting hearclistenong to and watching Ref watch and they all agree that Sterling was on the way down after Lloris saved the pen but it wasn’t a dive and that his foul on Alli was a red card as he got the ball first and he didn’t slide in, do these so called expects make it up as they go along surely Sterlings foul on Alli could have broken his ankle.
City are as usual giving us supports a season to remember in more ways than one and as others have mentioned GK’s seem to have their best games when playing city.
Rugby was terrible on Sunday it seemed we didn’t want to play till the frogs had won.
Cricket tomorrow and the Spurs replay v Saints on Wednesday a good few days of sport.
Onwards and upwards
OTBC
Hi Alex
My favourite chips on Yarmouth Market were from Kelly’s in the 1990s who have probably long gone by now. Lucy’s on Norwich Market are still going strong as is the mushy pea stall. Mint sauce still on the counter.
Sterling’s lunge at Dele was awful.
I’ll gloss over the Rugby if you don’t mind. Without two inventive solo efforts from Johnny May we would have been humiliated.
Still, ODIs start tomorrow!
Thanks.
Kelly’s was still there last summer, my youngest son was in London recently with his line manager from MOD who tried to get him have some bellied eels not for him he had Pie and peas
I’m glad Kelly’s are still going.
I’ve not been to Yarco in a while now so I had no idea.
Jellied eels are an acquired taste – Tubby Isaacs cornered the market and had outlets all over the East End but they were really, consistently good.
Many London pubs had seafood stalls on their car parks in those days.
Your son should have been a Cockney for the day and had pie&mash with parsley liquor!
Had the pie&mash many times on a sunday down petticoat lane
Good stuff as always Mr P.
Axs things are g have the rather more importantoing, Daniel’s “Little Miracle” gets more mountainous with every dropped point.
However, I DO feel that we’re soon due another Along Come Norwich moment, so why not have it at the next home game? LiVARpool are coasting to the title, and (at least to me), have the rather more important challenge of a trip to Madrid on the following Tuesday…..plus of course Klopp and Farke know each other. (I may be straw clutching here!!!).
As for your food and drink theme, whilst in gainful employment I was lucky enough to sample a Singapore Gin Sling at the bar in Raffles Hotel in Singapore. Nothing since in that vein has even come close!!
O T B C
Hi John.
Many people are feeling we might stop the Klopp steamroller – but most have a sense of irony and don’t mind chucking a fiver at Joe Corals or whoever.
Count me out I’m afraid although I’m really looking forward to the game even if only because we might not see that level of class at the Carra again for quite some time.
And don’t forget that Daniel knows Marcel Franke [remember him?] too.
The Singapore Sling is legendary as is Raffles Hotel. I’m one of these weirdos who has been to nearly every country in Europe but never out of it so I’ve never encountered said libation myself.
I do enjoy the occasional dish of Singapore noodles from the Kam Lee on the roundabout near our Norwich abode if that counts. No, I know, it doesn’t count.
Thanks!
A great read Martin. Thoroughly agree with you regarding our luck. We simply cannot catch a break.
Nothing really to criticise in the performance bar the finishing, which was awful at times. I won’t slate pukki, who should have scored on more than one occasion, his bank of goodwill is still so far in credit that it will remain in the black long after he’s gone. I feel he has simp,y run himself inTo the ground in our cause and that of Finland,
Duda adds a threat around the box and his set piece delivery is exceptional. I saw one comment online asking why Mario wasn’t brought on. In truth, even without the rolls Royce as I called him last season, we were creating more than enough. It was converting the hard work that was lacking.
Krul, kicking apart, was sound, Hanley is a monster and has toughened up our defence, Rupp is busy and capable. Oh, for a goal, a win for our efforts,
Hi Chris.
When it comes to luck we’ve surely run over black cats [sorry to all Mackems], trod on the cracks in the pavements and lost our rabbits’ feet.
Unless Paul Lambert used up our allocation of good luck around the millennium. I just dunno. Maybe the team should run out to Clapton and Cream’s Born Under a Bad Sign.
I agree with you about Pukki in every way and I’d care to add that his toe injury is surely still hampering him even if only psychologically. Nasty things, serious toe injuries.
Yes indeed we convert far less than we create. We’ve given it a great shot under the circs though so as I said originally I find it hard to criticise Farke & Co.
This will be one long lukewarm summer when it comes to ins and outs.
Same old, same old I’m sure.
Thanks as ever.
Hi Martin.
Thoughtful and interesting piece as usual.
What I am impressed with is the ability of this team to keep delivering good performances despite the poor run of results. It would be so easy to give up. So as you say it is hard to criticise this squad and to not like them. Those not playing deserve credit too for not sulking.
This is a Roy of the Rovers squad. Where dreams have come true. You only need to look at Zimmermann. Not long ago he was thinking he would give up football and go into teaching. Most of them would not have dreamed they would play in the Premier League.
Most of the squad have improved, just look at Tettey. He now plays forward passes. In the first part of his spell with Norwich he rarely played a square pass, it was mainly backwards. Hanley has similarly improved his passing accuracy.
There have been lots of positives but the footballing gods have definitely been evening out the good luck we had last season and also the relatively injury free squad last term.
It is about time Liverpool lost a League game. They are unbeaten in 42. Now wouldn’t it just be poetic if we were the ones to stop that run. This is what footballing dreams are made of.
OTBC
Hi Colin.
As for the not sulking I understand that Emi Buendia put on a bit of a strop at the final whistle on Saturday and didn’t shake hands with Daniel F or his assistants.
Is that truth? Probably just rumour. The cohesion of this squad is admirable and I love every one of them. Considering our personnel we have done really well and surely nobody can make a serious criticism of our attitude.
As for your Liverpool remark – sure. They have to lose sometime. But with my wicked [or is it realistic] head on I don’t think it will be on Saturday week.
But here’s hoping!
Thanks a lot.
Can rest assured of a Monday read up there again Mr P. I watched some of City’s game on a very flaky stream. but enough to see how good we looked or how bad Toon were. Take your pick how you view that one.
Still we can only play what is in front of us and we did do most things well except the important part. Pukki’s effort across the keep was well telegraphed. He needs to work a little more, his shot from near the edge had goal written all over it, but for a good finger tip. We think we have a problem upfront, Toon have one there in mid field and defence. Well he must have for playing 5 across the back, more a case of lets get a point and consolidate our safety. Can,t blame Bruce for that, he knows he won’t be there very long anyways.
As for a miracle. the way the gods have treated us, the chronic injury list should have given a clue, then add a few VAR decisions that other clubs get away with. I always come to the same conclusion every season we are in the Prem, They do not want us there, just about every club has a little moan about traveling to Norfolk. Do not know what they would say is Land’s End had a premiership team
Still the table never lies, we have not got enough pointy things, we have let in too many and not scored enough, But we are the best bottom of the league team. At least we have beaten Derby’s total.
We will pick up a few more, but doubt it will be enough. The math says we have enough left, but so do the other teams above us, we have had all season, we have failed then, what makes anyone think we can bo better with less now ?
Still, it is not that I am giving up, I want us to for the sheer hell of sticking a middle finger up to the smug know it alls on TV.
Hi Lad.
I can’t really disagree with any of that.
Steve Bruce is working under terrible circumstances up there. He was one of the very few who would accept working for Ashley and I guess when Ashley goes so will Bruce.
But he’s somehow scrambled them to virtual safety.
I don’t really see what keeps people like Bruce going as I just don’t get it. He hardly needs the money, or shouldn’t anyway. I retired at 55 to get off the treadmill but I never had the pressure of managing a PL club on my shoulders!
Norwich isn’t that inaccessible anyway really. I think that’s a bit of a myth although I concede we’re a little bit out on a geographical limb to some.
Trouble is we have this quaint image of being stuck in a timewarp which is totally unfounded. And when our owners don’t want us to be at the top table either it makes for a horrible combination. Nobody wants us here [PL] except our real supporters.
Folks tend to forget how consistently well we did in the old Division One.
Thanks once again.
Spot on Martin, smith and her flat earth society Luddite followers enjoy propagating this bumpkin image which tars us all with the same brush. To be frank, to the average outsider it probably looks a bit weird.
I’ve been subjected to it when on holiday in sunnier climes and the response people recover sometimes destroys their image of the club and city in one fell swoop!
Yeah I think Luddite is the word as in the original meaning of it:
Bring in new technology and we’ll smash it up to keep our jobs while of course quickly losing them and being imprisoned. Probably the biggest d’oh in British history, amongst a strong list of contenders.
I don’t like the straw-chewing image either but there are still quite a few of our elderly generation who perpetuate that myth while beneath the veneer they’re often as sharp as a tack.
Anyway, Delia’s from the Home Counties so maybe she thinks it’s cool to pretend to be a backwoodswoman with a neutral accent.
She doesn’t fool me and never has.