Some people say it’s a mistake to start a football article with a Shakespeare quote peppered with paltry puns such as ‘A (Danny) Rose by any other Nayim would smell as sweet’.
Those people are right (*cough*) So let’s get straight to the quiz.
QUIZ 1: The following virtual team of eleven players have surnames relating to professions. Nine of them are genuine ex-Norwich City players and two are not. Can you pick the odd two out?
- Ernie PORTER
- Geoff BUTLER
- Clive BAKER
- Paul COOK
- Will JUDGE
- Frank JOYNER
- Trevor PAINTER
- Wynton RUFER
- Mark TYLER
- Alan TAYLOR
- Pete Zer HUTTE-DELIVERY
QUIZ 2: Sorry about that, couldn’t help it. Again, the team below consists of nine genuine Norwich City players plus two strangers. This time the surnames relate to religion. (Panicky intake of breath) Edgy, eh? But as it’s done with a cheerfully respectful tone I’m hoping we’ll be OK. So, can you find the two agnostics among the devout?
- Zema ABBEY
- Phil CHAPPLE
- John FRIAR
- Ivor PUGH
- John CHURCH
- Colin PROPHETT
- Spencer PRIOR
- Ben GODfrey
- John DEVINE
- Alasdair MONK
- Nick PARSONS
QUIZ 3: Spreading the net wider (but still including an NCFC connection), this team covers general football terms using the names of nine real footballers from across the world and two who aren’t. Can you identify the two international imposters?
- Robert SnodGRASS
- Alan BALL
- Alje SCHUT
- Robert Van Der VAR
- QUIQUE Setién
- Edmund BOOT
- Günter NETZer
- Ibrahim BA
- Kevin WISSEL
- N’GOLo Kanté
- Feva PITCHZE
Mm, how did you get on?
Perhaps Shakespeare was right when he wrote: ‘All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players’. Although he didn’t say what position they were playing – or whether they’d be doing it behind closed doors.
Sorry.
Anyway, did you find all the answers? Check them below…
QUIZ 1: Professions – ANSWERS
- Ernie PORTER – Midfielder – NCFC (1927-31)
- Geoff BUTLER – Defender – NCFC (1969-76)
- Clive BAKER – Goalkeeper – NCFC (1977-84)
- Paul COOK – Midfielder – NCFC (1988-89)
- Will JUDGE – Known as ‘The Norfolk Comedian’, he toured and performed professionally across the UK in the early years of the 20th century.
- Frank JOYNER – Midfielder – Guested for NCFC during the Second World War
- Trevor PAINTER – Defender – NCFC (1967-70)
- Wynton RUFER – Striker – NCFC (1982)
- Mark TYLER – Goalkeeper – NCFC (1988-92)
- Alan TAYLOR – Striker – NCFC (1979-80 & 1988)
- Pete Zer HUTTE-DELIVERY – Pepperoni and pineapple for me, please!
QUIZ 2: Religion – ANSWERS
- Zema ABBEY – Striker – NCFC (2000-04)
- Phil CHAPPLE – Defender – NCFC (1985-88)
- John FRIAR – Midfielder – NCFC (1936-39)
- Ivor PUGH – Made up, but at least he got somewhere to sit
- John CHURCH – Midfielder – NCFC (1937-50)
- Colin PROPHETT – Defender – NCFC (1973-74)
- Spencer PRIOR – Defender – NCFC (1993-96)
- Ben GODfrey – Defender – NCFC (2016-?)
- John DEVINE – Defender – NCFC (1983-85)
- Alasdair MONK – Goalkeeper – NCFC (1992)
- Nick PARSONS – ‘And now, from Norwich, it’s the quiz of the week!’
QUIZ 3: Familar football terms – ANSWERS
- Robert SnodGRASS – Midfielder – NCFC (2012-14)
- Alan BALL – Midfielder – 1966 England World Cup winner
- Alje SCHUT – Defender – FC Utrecht (1999-2012)
- Robert Van Der VAR – Possible distant cousin of ex-Spurs footballer and now professional darts player Rafael van der Vaart? Alas not.
- QUIQUE Setién – Currently manager of a small backwater club in north-east Spain – FC Barcelona
- Edmund BOOT – Midfielder – Huddersfield Town (1937-52)
- Günter NETZer – Midfielder – Borussia Mönchengladbach (1963-73)
- Ibrahim BA – Midfielder – Le Havre (1991-96) & Bolton Wanderers (2003-04)
- Kevin WISSEL – Goalkeeper – HSV Hoek (2018-????)
- N’GOLo Kanté – Midfielder – Leicester City (2015-16) & Chelsea (2016-?)
- Feva PITCHZE – Football book by Nick Hornby, graciously referenced in our own excellent football diary book of the time, Norfolk ’n’ Good, by Kevin Baldwin
Hi Chris.
I got one wrong in every round – so lost.
How you came up with that I dunno but I can offer a snooker-related one with only three questions. It’s tough I know but which is the odd one out?
Ken BROWN
Robert GREEN
Komonu YELLOUS.
I’ll be back with the answers later [not] 🙂
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Haha! Nice one, Martin!
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Brilliant.
But actually you are wrong about Pete Zer Hutte-delivery . He was a protege of Iwan Roberts in his first few months at the club, until Iwan finally let him go when he finally realised he needed to lose weight.
Pete then disappeared for a while until Glen Roeder brought him back on loan for half an hour. He’d changed his name by then to Pete Zer Express and Roeder was very disappointed to discover that this was not an indication that he had electric pace; it turned out Glen’s videos of him were stuck on fast forward.
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Love it, Keith B. Iwan was a bit of a self-confessed porker that first season. Bless. The irony from a personal perspective is that even at his most heaviest and unfit he was still two stone lighter than me now. Something must be done! Tomorrow. Perhaps.
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A nice diversion!
I only got five out of six imposters. Failed – as those who know me would have predicted – on religion.
Thanks, Chris.
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Thanks for the kindness, Stewart. I tried to make it mildly challenging and probably wouldn’t have got Ivor Pugh! Apologies for the slightly lightweight diversion but in heavy times sometimes a bit of fun helps. Back to the heavy stuff soon no doubt and let’s hope it all turns out fairly and for the best.
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Don’t know how it escaped my attention that Alasdair Monk was a City keeper!
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The ones I got wrong were Ernie Porter who I thought was in The Forsyte Saga [it was actually Eric Porter of course], Nick Parsons [who I’d only ever heard of as Nicholas – it didn’t click] and Robert van der VAR who I really should have got – but didn’t.
Robin’ van der VAR would have tipped me off though.
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Good read chris how about alan Black for martins snooker?
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Thanks Kevin, eExcellent. That’s a full 7 points for Alan Black – and you’re on your way to a maximum!
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