The first six months of the 1939-1945 conflict was known as the phoney war. War had been declared but very little actually happened during that period. It gave Britain a chance to accelerate modernisation of its war machine to cope with the inevitable matters to come.
Quickly of course it became all too real for many of our fathers or grandfathers but for that period of time, it must have felt like preparing for the unknown. That’s what my dad Lenny [Royal Engineers 1942-46] told me anyway.
And I can see a parallel with our return to Premier League action in just under a fortnight. Not in the gravity of the situation of course, just in the general sense of waiting for the kick-off whilst training, training and yet more training. Training for who knows exactly what, yet.
In some ways both situations seem like incipient madness, but if it has to be done, apparently it has to be done. And we all know why.
There used to be a TV programme called That Was The Week That Was, aka TW3, back in the 60s. Regular MFW readers such as Ed, Alex B and Jim Davies will remember it well. As might a few others, too. David Frost hosted and Millicent Martin [who?] sang at the end.
So, here is my take on TW3.
The fixtures for the resumption, such as they are, have been announced. City have avoided any possibility of playing on neutral turf which is not unexpected, but welcome nonetheless.
MFW, in the shape of Stewart Lewis and South West Canaries in the form of our very own Martin MacBlain, were invited to a Zoom meeting with Stuart Webber, Ben Kensell and Zoe Ward and thoroughly enjoyed the experience.
Stew said in an MFW comment that as a fellow over-60 he was called by a club official, which reminded me to check my Mundesley answerphone where I too had received a lovely call from a guy called Phil – the message broke up at the precise point he revealed his surname so I’m none the wiser but it was a great gesture. Thanks Phil.
I’ve claimed my pro-rata rebate and as soon as it comes through there’s £50 winging its way to the Community Sports Foundation. The process could not have been easier and it’s so simple to donate to the CSF online too.
Jamal Lewis has split his time between training, committing to a pretty serious online financial studies course, and dissing his team-mates for their personal lifestyle choices – haircuts, fashion sense, busting moves, etc. One smart cookie is our Jamal. And humorous too.
Along came young Josh Martin, who has said how proud he was to earn a contract with the first-team squad. Just like Adam Idah, he’s no longer technically a part of the under-23 set up, although of course, he might well play at that level again.
Josh also took the time to offer support and advice to seven of our academy lads who have been released. Nothing cheesy about the way he said it either. He’s been a bit media central this week, has young Josh, but I doubt that’s of his own making. Fair play to him.
Max Aarons has been doing the hokey cokey in an indirect kind of way as in “It’s the Tottenham in, the Arsenal out, let’s get the bids in and then we’ll sort it out”.
And everybody except the unfortunate Sam Byram is back at Colney in full contact training. Literally everybody from what I can gather. Sorry about the canteen restriction lads, but I can’t go to the pub so it’s fair enough really.
Enter the national media where it would seem that FA chief Greg Clarke suggests that should neither the PL or EFL be completed he would no longer insist on relegation. And several PL clubs are behind that suggestion. Yet another crazy wait and see.
Gobsmack moment of the week has to be BVB’s Jadon Sancho being fined some £10,000 for having his hair cut during lockdown and publicising a social media photograph of the event, saying he only took his mask off so he was instantly recognisable for the brief seconds it took to take the pic.
Fined by the German DFL, not his club Borussia Dortmund. My mind is really boggling with this one.
And Chelsea might well be lashing out £106million on Timo Werner. My brain hurts.
But, of course, our phoney war goes into it’s crowdless, soulless second phase on June 19. It’ll be strange folks.
I’ll leave y’all with this which sums up the whole concept up perfectly. You’ll all know the song but surely not this version from 1967. If anybody can tell me who is acting the part of the professor there’s the usual MFW prize. (Clue: about two pars up)…
Do Not Adjust Your Set: Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band – Monster Mash
Hi Martin
A good read for a dull day in Blackpool and hopefully a better start to this week than an end to last week – house move cancelled.
Football.
Many people will be looking forward to a restart and hoping their clubs can end the season better than it started. Injuries have really affected City’s journey in this league but the cursed VAR hasn’t helped either.
So now UEFA and FIFA have said it can be stopped for the rest of the season, so it makes an already contentious season-ending even more of an uneven playing field.
An article written from our ex-player Dean Ashton, saying he stayed at City as he owed them after relegation, was a real mixed bag. He admitted that during that summer no one met City’s asking price so he stayed loyal, then he said City offered him better terms to stay so he stayed loyal. And then in the January, WHU offered a fee that City accepted so he jumped ship. Now being a 70-year-old cynic, loyalty was only there as he was offered more money, again loyalty was there as no one agreed a fee – where was the loyalty that might have helped push City up the league for promotion. He shifted to WHU for more money – another Mills only sees the club he played for after City.
Let the leagues produce test results for all the Refs, TV crews, Reporters prior to any kick off -let’s make sure they are all healthy not just the players.
Onwards and upwards
OTBC
Keep safe and well
Hi Alex.
I saw that Dean Ashton piece as well and it certainly sent missed messages. He was a great striker but the cynic in me suggests we might have been aware of an underlying injury issue that WHU’s medicos didn’t pick up on. It happens.
Or we might have just jumped at all that lovely Cockney money. We’ll never know.
Plans for testing match officials and folks such as the media might well be in place but if so I haven’t heard what they are.
Sorry to hear about the house. I would have guessed that any vendor with a pre Covid-19 price agreed would have bitten your hand off, but what do I know?
All the best.
Just one of those things after 8 weeks – they didn’t realise it wasn’t freehold.
With all the losses clubs could soon occur, I am confused.
Surely all Sky, BT and Amazon agreements aren’t time-related – just on the number of games shown a season.
So really it shouldn’t matter if the season stops for a week or 4 months – if they show the agreed number of games then there should be a refund.
Another thing – the broadcaster has the option for an individual to purchase single games, so now they should cream it with supporters buying each game as it is shown £10 per game on BT.
Advertising revenue – doesn’t matter who is at the game it is, those watching at home that counts.
So if all the games are completed then no broadcaster has lost out only the clubs in their matchday takings.
Please if I am wrong can someone explain.
I can’t explain – as The Who sung.
While like the rest of us I understand household finance and have a more than adequate grasp of matters concerning property and cars, the machinations of football and its seemingly unique approach to distribution of the folding stuff is utterly beyond me.
We have a trio of MFW folks who do understand these matters as in Stewart and both the Garys so if any of them are reading this they might be able to answer.
I can’t 🙂
I think part of the answer is that people have suspended or cancelled their Sky and BT subscriptions. Many will now resume them, of course, but it’s a substantial loss of revenue for the broadcasters that normally doesn’t happen.
Thanks Stew – appreciated.
Nice one, Martin. The prof looks a bit like Keith Moon after a particularly heavy night out.
Hi Chris.
Moon the Loon would have known the guy it actually was and he certainly would have known most of the Bonzos. He does look a bit like him I must agree, but no Adidas Santiagos means no Keith Moon.
Answer this afternoon 🙂
Marty, I shall be watching the game on telly and hopefully the commentators will make up for the lack of crowd noise for us viewers and City will do us proud. As I mentioned to you yesterday I rewatched England winning the World Cup, an end to end thriller but the crowd noise was only just audible and with a stilted commentary, apart from the final goal, ‘they think it’s all over, it is now’. So maybe these closed door games will be worth watching.
Hi Cutty
From what I can gather the only free-to-air will be the Man Ure cup game which I shall most certainly watch. Who wouldn’t? And it should be a good one for the neutrals too.
Otherwise Sky and BT Sport have never had any of my dinaro and I’m not going to go back on one of the few admirable ethics I possess right now.
I rarely listen to Norfolk but when I do Chris Goreham does a great job so I would think that’ll be the way forward for me. I hope either Rivo or Mark Walton is his co-pilot – both are excellent imo. I’ll still give Canary Bawl a miss though.
Cheers Pard.
Our league game against Everton on 24 June will also be free-to-air, as it’s one of the games allocated to the BBC.
I hadn’t picked up on that – second favour of the day 🙂
Hi Martin;
Some of the SKY games will be on their Freeview channel called Pick.
It’s Channel 11 on Freeview – although at the moment I don’t think NCFC are one of their free games……
Thanks John.
I’ll keep a beady eye out. If it’s free, I’ll watch it!
Sorry to hear house move cancelled btw Alex B.
That’s life we will just keep trying at least we have a roof over our heads.
Thanks.
Hi Martin, yes, I do remember TW3 very well. It was Saturday (?) night must-view, and the precursor of today’s satirical programmes. It was also where John Cleese, Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett first came to our notice, in the famous “I look up to him, but I look down on him” sketch. If readers are too young to know what I’m talking about, that’s what YouTube is for. Look it up, brilliant social commentary.
As for the phoney war, I’m just waiting for the air raid sirens to sound!
Hi Jim
Yeah I have caught up with quite a few bits from TW3 and I remember hearing the song at the end from my boxroom/bedroom in Chadwell Heath back in the day.
My right-wing mother hated David Frost as much as Dad loved him so Sunday mornings could be a bit lively when they thought I couldn’t hear them arguing. No effing but plenty of blinding.
Round the Horne and the Navy Lark were always on the radio – I didn’t know why my parents laughed so much until my mate Paul lent me a CD of it about 10 years ago. Julian and Sandy and all that. Brilliant.
Sirens go off in nine days time – if anyone can remember how to wind the handles!
My all time favourite was the Goons, I caught all the old BBC shows over in Gibraltar in the 70’s thanks to the Force radio, the early ITV ruined them doing the Telegoons.
Really showing my age Ying Tong
I was too young to remember the Goons very well but to me at the time it just sounded like a load of silly voices. I remember thinking “why’s dad laughing when I’m the kid”?
I’ve read two Spike Milligans as in Puckoon and Hitler – my part in his downfall and I really enjoyed both of them. Hymogenes K. Thuckroots ‘n’ all.
Good morning Mr P and in less than 2 weeks, our season will resume.
As SW rightly pointed out in his article, the main impetus for resumption is ‘LSD’ or for MFW’s younger readers Pounds, Shillings and Pence!!
As Alex B rightly points out, no VAR for the remaining games – how many points did it cost us – I’ve a feeling around 10!! 🙁
I see a rumour circulating from a national newspaper that we are going to play Spurs in a friendly this Friday, so I guess we’ll have to wait and see on that one.
Out quarter final game against Man Utd is set for the 27th and I vividly remember a friend saying that – ‘If you get to the semi final, it will be behind closed doors’. I’ve read somewhere that the FA is insisting that both semis and the final are to be played at Wembley. I was eagerly awaiting another trip there and being to take my football mad granddaughter there and to see one end of it become yellow and green.
The Max Aarons story is an interesting one and I’m sure will rumble on for several months, but I read the other day that £30M is out of Arsenal’s reach. DF is on record in saying that he hopes we don’t have to sell too many players in order to balance the books .
My membership refunds are going to CSF and part of my ST refund is going to the Academy, where my granddaughter is a ‘student’
Oh well I hope that life will return to the ‘new normal’ in the not too distant future and that not too many more deaths will result from this dreadful disease
Hi Ed
The Spurs rumour has yet to be confirmed as we chat but it makes sense.
However as my mate Bernie [who comments on MFW now and again] said to me and some mates this morning, where the bloody hell are they going to play it with the 90-mile restriction?
Bernie suggested Colchester but he would as he lives just around the corner in Wivenhoe. Whoops, forgot, he won’t be able to go!
I’ve picked the CSF for my meagre donation as the more I hear about the project the more I like the sound of what they are doing.
Absolutely every Norwich supporter should have that wonderful Wembley experience at least once in their lives. I’ve been four times and my record reads: played four, won two, lost two. But we can safely say we haven’t lost at Wembley in 45 years!
Recent non socially distanced demonstrations haven’t exactly helped the Covid-19 eradication but the less said about that the better. At least the one in the City was very largely peaceful by all accounts and Edith Cavell remains in Tombland.
Thanks as always and take care.
I didn’t know that the Bonzos had recorded The Monster Mash-my brother had a single of Bobby ‘Boris’ Pickett and the Crypt Kicker Five’s version. I’m surprised anyone bothered to cover it. I have no idea who is playing the prof. but my guess is Ronnie Laine.
I’m looking forward to the restart. Buddy the Border Collie and I will be doing our best to create some of the missing atmosphere-sorry neighbours.
Hi Don
Yeah I’m sure Geezer and Minnie will be giving us a “shout” too. As soon as the MotD theme music starts they always go berserk anyway – there’s just something about it that kicks them off cos they’re normally pretty mellow unless somebody comes up the drive.
It’s so funny because it’s like two-part harmony. Geezer howls, Minnie barks and half way through they swap roles.
The Bonzos were kind of the British equivalent of Frank Zappa – always taking the pi$$ out of something while [unlike Zappa] earning relatively little. This video is very rare.
No it wasn’t Ronnie Lane. Answer soon.
Cheers mate.
This is mainly for Chris S and Don but the answer to the mad professor’s identity is… not as certain as when I wrote the article on Saturday.
I was utterly convinced it was Michael Palin but I later passed the clip on to a mate who reckoned it might have been Terry Jones. These two were regulars on Do Not Adjust Your Set along with Eric Idle. All soon to be Pythons of course. David [Del Boy] Jason featured in the show too as “Captain Fantastic”.
My money’s still on Palin but there’s a nagging doubt. No way of finding out now.
As for the Bonzos there was Legs Larry Smith on drums, the admirable Neil Innes [also an unofficial Python] on keys, Rodney Slater on sax and the inimitable Viv Stanshall as MC.
No idea who played bass but the monster was the legendary Sam Spoons, aka Martin Ash.
I’d been waiting since Xmas to work this one into an article 🙂
Hi Martin and Don. Pausing to get the best face shots of the scientist/prof/doctor I can’t see him as either Palin or Jones. I reckon the face-shape, beard and nose are more consistent with Bonzo member Roger Ruskin Spear. What do you reckon? Happy to be corrected…
Hi Chris.
I get your point and it is certainly true that Spear doesn’t play on this, which was undoubtedly recorded live – that bone-as-a-drumstick is just a prop for a zoom at the very beginning. So sure, it could be him. I hadn’t thought of that.
Band and proto-Pythons were so interchangeable on that show.
I’ll still plump for Palin even if only for the mannerisms and the crazy dance behind the monster towards the end.
No way of finding out now unless Rodney Slater or Legs Larry read MFW – the other Bonzos are sadly passed away.