Like, surely, all of us, I am bringing the old ship HMS Canary into port, putting it into dry dock and looking forward to what will be a cheap refit before we set sail again on less choppy seas. We hope.
But who will Captain Webber and First Mate Farke manage to recruit to join us on our voyage into the Championship? Who will take the Queen’s shilling?
Admiral Smith, Vice-Admiral Wynn-Jones [the Purity Pinker and Long John Silver of our times], and Tom the Cabin Boy will dole out the rations for the journey, so heaven help us. We’d better look forward to plenty of ship’s biscuit and very watered-down grog I’m afraid. There won’t be much motivation for next season’s crew to fight hard, that’s for sure.
When we set sail again, before our engagement, the flags will come out in the rigging with the message “Delia expects every Canaryman to do this day their duty – but not too diligently”.
That’s because we don’t want to win the battle of the Nile as we’d have to move on to Trafalgar, which is far too dangerous, isn’t it Delia?
The onshore press gang will be told not to target anybody fit to serve in the stern, particularly if they’re hardened old seadogs over six feet two. We’ll continue with Able [?] Seaman Klose from the Swiss Navy and his mate Grant from Long John and Purity’s Spyglass Inn.
Several young gunners will sign off for good as soon as the ship gets in so they can join new vessels with huge bounties waiting for them but we will still have quite a few powder monkeys left on board. The muster suggests messrs Drmic and Leitner amongst others might be subjected to keelhauling but we’ll have to wait and see.
But at least we’ll evade all those nasty foreign pirates who might want to invest in us with a doubloon or two. Especially those whose ancestors sailed in dhows, eh Vice-Admiral?
It’ll be a very strange piece of offshore leave for all those who serve on HMS Canary. And for us camp-followers, which we might as well be referred to as, we can’t even go down to the docks to have a shufti at the crew in friendly pre-campaign training.
Maybe junior sea cadets Idah and Martin plus new recruits Sorensen and Placheta might be able to steady the ship a little, but it’s a big ask for them as they have yet to sail around the Cape of Little Hope.
And of course, the ship’s admirable veteran Alex Tettey only has a limited time left at sea. He’ll be one year short of a testimonial in 2021 but I’m hopeful the Admiralty will do the right thing by him. I’d go to see it for sure – especially if it’s us against a joint Norwegian-Ghanaian XI anyway – it’s quite a concept and will probably never come to pass, but you never know.
Luckily the ship limped into port with only a 0-5 reversal at the Etihad [sorry vice-Admiral, I’m sure that word pains you] and we can stop throwing streamers at the SS Villa, which despite all our rancour, bitterness and envy managed to keep afloat – albeit at the last minute. So at least we didn’t break the Binners’ record.
Good luck to Leeds, WBA and, I would guess, Fulham although I could be wrong – ask me next week!
You deserve your luck because you’ll spend a little money and give yourselves a fighting chance.
Which is more than we did.
My friends we have met Davy Jones’ Locker.
Enough of my “naval gazing” [sic] so I’ll conclude with this fine speech.
The disappointment I feel now is akin to that I felt back in the 1950s collecting money alongside my young friends for fireworks on Guy Fawkes night only for it to hiss down with rain: deep and abiding. When the bonfire gets soaked no amount of paraffin will rekindle the lost joy, the magic has gone, it takes at least another year to forget and rebuild the enthusiasm. So roll on next year and let’s get this sorry mess put behind us.
These are not my words but those of regular MFW commentator and Mrs P’s distant cousin, Herr Cutz. It kind of resonates with me and also provides me the benefit of not having to come up with an original outro to my final meaningful piece of this wretched season. Cheers Cutty.
To sum up the worst season I can remember since Roedent was in charge I’ll leave you wonderful folks with this, which I would like to dedicate to Michael and Delia:
The Kinks – Where Have All the Good Times Gone (from One For The Road)
Oh, dear. Beneath the veneer of light wryness, such heavy pessimism. Well – not for me. I had already braced myself for what was going to happen this past season, so no great disappointment there. The season long CB injury list just ensured that the aforesaid prescience was justified. Onwards, upwards, and with luck another thrilling season of winning games (as Monsieur Leclerc woukd say) “With speed and with Style”.
Hi John
Funny old world – I wish I could share your optimism,
Your point about the CB injuries is very valid of course but I hope you’d agree with me that we need at least one recruit in that area because Timm and Grant haven’t just had *bad luck* with said injuries. It’s rather a case of being prone to them unlike Zimbo who was done by a crazily unpunished thuggish challenge from WHU’s Haller.
Thanks – nice to see a bit of positive spirit 🙂
Only two things came into my mind, good job Smiths nephew wasn’t named Roger, and a picture of a concerned Webber advising the admiral of an iceberg in December, what iceberg came the reply.
Hi Bernie
Roger was a Captain Pugwash myth. The cabin boy’s name actually was Tom.
Seaman Staines and Master Bates were real though – how they got away with it I will never know!
Cheers
Marty you missed the titanic. The Captain was Smith just like ours.
I bet Captain Smith didn’t set sail from the home counties to a quaint little village just outside Stowmarket though.
And I have it on good authority that he never, ever sported a blue and white scarf for publicity purposes.
The whole Captain Pugwash thing was a myth that started in Australia, There was no Master Bates it was Master mate, The was No Seaman Staines either, There was a Pirate Wiily, The creator John Ryan (not the Norwich fullback with same name) Successfully took two newspapers to court for publishing the wrong names.
Hi Martin
A joyous read this end of season but I would say that the Smith’s are more akin to Captain Pugwash and his hapless band of pirates.
I don’t think we will hear let the good times roll for a few weeks but that will depend on how the new scurvy bunch take to Nelson’s county.
Bayern Munich wanting Aaron on the cheap and some penniless Turkish club talking to Pukki’s agent about joining them after selling their top scorer to a french club, the official window open for less than 24hrs and rumours below decks are running amuck.
Can good ship lollipop survive a big north sea gale only time will tell how Captain Farke’s new recruits handle the storm in an empty vessel.
Now for cricket I have a question to one and all
4 Norfolk cricketers made a name in the first class game all from the same family and 2 had good England careers 1 had only a few games in the junior England side while one had a shirt cricket career.
3 brothers and 1 cousin.
1 played for Surrey
1 played for Middlesex/MCC
2 played for Lancashire
Can anyone name them
Onwards and upwards
OTBC
Keep safe and Stay well
Hi Alex
I got one Pugwash reference in!
I’ve no idea if Besiktas are skint or not but Pukki’s body language was all wrong for me since that toe injury and I really wouldn’t hold out too much hope for a second coming so [for me] I don’t care if he stays or goes. Not in a disrespectful sense because he was something special for us in 2018-19.
As for the cricket I must say it’s England only for me so I’ve no real knowledge of the county game but [Google = no fun] I’m aware of the following Norfolk connections:
The Edrich family. John, Bill and a couple of others I’ve forgotten. I lived in Blofield for 15 years and the family house wasn’t too far away from there. Never met any of them.
Parvez Mir played for Vauxhall Mallards [Brundall] and I met him at the ground a few times. A Pakistan international who I think was 12th man at a World Cup final. He wasn’t shy!
And of course Terry Allcock.
You’ve done me on the rest of them.
Cheers.
All the same familt Edrich as follows
Bill Edrich
Born Lingwood Norfolk 26/03/1916 Died Chesham 24/04/1986
County’s played Middlesex/ MCC 1937/58, Norfolk 1965/70
Test Career, First Test 10th June 1938 v Australia
Last Test 28th January 1955 v Australia
Eric H Edrich Born Lingwood Norfolk 27th March 1914
Died Wistow Cambs 9th July 1993
County played for Lancashire Wicketkeeper
Retired after 36 games for Farming.
Geoff A Edrich BornLingwood Norfolk 13th July 1918
Died Cheltenham 2nd January 2004
Country’s played for
Norfolk 1937/39
Lancashire 1946/58
John H Edrich Born Blofield 21st June 1937
County played for
Surrey 1956/78
First Test 6th June 1963 WI
Last Test 8th July 1978 WI
ODI 1971 to 1975
Wow!
As anybody who has ever read one of my articles will know research is not my strong point – don’t really have the time.
I didn’t know the Edrich family actually lived precisely in Lingwood -where my ex ma-in-law Gloria still dwells to this day. I thought it was Strumpshaw but obviously not.
As a kid John and Geoff Boycott were invariably the England openers and apart from Bob Barber I cannot recall anybody else in that role in that era.
Oh well as I type there’s five WI wickets to get after an enforced early lunch. Here’s hoping. No, here’s expecting.
Edrich?
Yeah strange how a none first county has so much cricket going on
I can certainly name the first two, saw the second captaining Norfolk at Lakenham in the late sixties. I can name one of the others, not sure of the first name of the fourth.
There was a lad at school from the same family; I think he played for the under 13s a few times before it dawned on the teachers that his protestations that he wasn’t any good at the game, or even interested in it, were not false modesty.
Hi Keith
While in the RAF I got to see a few games and saw John Edrich play for England and Surrey and at the time never realised he was from 15 miles from Gt Yarmouth but he was a heck of an opener wish we had him playing now
Edrich.
Think Brian Edrich played for Kent maybe in 1950’s. Missing from the list.
Not sure Brian was part of the family from Norfolk will check it out
Just checked. Brian played for Kent and Glamorgan and was born Cantley, Norfolk. Was part of the Norfolk Edrich family. Brother of the more famous Bill and cousin to John.
Those brothers could use a football too. Not to the extent of the Bedsers but older pals tell me they were very useful.
Perhaps quite fitting would be a Yellow Submarine.
Below the waves for almost a full season, only rarely coming up to join the rest of the fleet.
Did not want to stay up, so decided to do the easy thing and disappear out of sight.
The owners were happy, as they had spent very little on fuel.
Nice one Ken.
I believe it was the Edrich Family John Edrich was one of them I think another was Bill.
What other club (ship) would allow a junior rating to steer the ship on a dangerous mission when the purser (?) has provided inferior sailors for the job? I would vote for a new experienced captain to take the helm. Sorry Farke fans but the reality is that he is culpable and should face up to his failure and take off in another ship or walk the plank.
Hi Cyprus
First Mate Farke has every right to steer us out of port on the next campaign – it just depends what happens when he’s faced with his first maelstrom.
Will he emerge with flying colours or egg and cress on his face? We don’t know yet.
Thanks.
Edrich family
One thing that worries me about our gradual drift into mediocrity is the effect on younger generation fans.
Last year my four year old grandson was a big City fan. Joined in the parade, cheered every goal on the tv and attended a game where he joined in with the celebrations.
Played football in the garden with me where he insisted on being Pukki.
This year he started of as keen as ever but as the season has progressed his enthusiasm has waned.
We still play football in the garden but he’s started to mention Liverpool.
It’s hard to maintain his enthusiasm for City when the media ( which is far more prevalent now than in my youth) points him towards other more glamorous clubs.
It’s also difficult to disguise my exasperation with our owners complete lack of ambition when trying to sell the club to him.
Under the present regime can the club take future attendances of 27,000 for granted.
“It’s also difficult to disguise my exasperation with our owners complete lack of ambition when trying to sell the club to him.”
For goodness sake John, the poor lad’s FOUR
I know you only ever post on here to tell us for the umpteenth time what think about the owners, but taking it out on him as well seems a bit mean.
I thought about that as well whilst wondering where John’s grandson got all that pocket money from! Then we had to drive from the coast to the City so wasn’t able to comment and forgot about it.
Believe me I’m often the king of innocently clumsy sentences but this one really made me laugh. When I was four I was still tapping around in our respective gardens with the other tinies and whichever of our dads hosted us.
Thanks for the 🙂
Thanks to the media kids of four are well aware of what happens around them. He mentioned Liverpool because he watches the games and sees them playing entertaining football.
Look around you next time you’re in theCity and see how many premier league teams colours you see.
As for pointing out the inadequacies of our owners I do so because it’s the most critical issue affecting our club.
If you have no ambition and are happy with lower league football so be it. Doubtless you’ll be thanking Delia for saving us if we end up in division 1 again.
Her performance this year has been so poor we are now regularly ridiculed in the press and generally considered a bunch of no hopers.
We never tried this year and that should be unacceptable to any fan.
Hi again John F – one of many John’s on MFW today so I apologise for any confusion 🙂
When I was four I had no real concept of football beyond it was a great fun thing to do in infants school breaks and in folks gardens with my tiny little mates.
If the media has already gotten a hold on your grandson I find that a bit spooky if I’m honest but I guess that’s how life must be these days.
As for pointing out the inadequacies of our inglorious ownership please continue – me and a few other MFW regulars need all the reassurance we can get!
Thanks Martin. I’m showing my age because the grandson is nearly six. Losing count post retirement but I’ve noticed due to the constant information streams kids today are well ahead of my generation at that age.
I’ve seen the look of disappointment on his face when we concede goals and post lockdown he’s started mentioning Liverpool.
With regard to our owners, most fans I come in contact with are fed up and think Delia is worse than Chase.
Hi John
As I said to Keith below that really made me laugh.
Seriously kids go their own way. We’ve got no grandchildren but regarding the adult issue, Jonny and Josh follow City [I couldn’t put it in stronger terms than that] but James’s idea of football is going to a ploughing match and as for Rachel it’s more a case of “when can I visit my favourite coffee house – the one with the hairdresser’s next door”?
All four [two are mine, two are Mrs P’s] have been to Carrow Road when they were very young but none of them got hooked unfortunately. I’m pleased to say that Jonny turns out for 6-a-side [I played GK for his lot until I was 50 and back said no] and runs a 10k nearly every week, Rachel enjoys the gym and Josh is a fair old tennis player.
Great comment as always.
Good fun Martin. RLS will be doing a horn pipe in his grave trying to get out to have you walk several planks,
Obviously the season was not good fun. The current rapid recruitment will hopefully address some of the more blatant issues. Certainly the youth, physicality and in some cases raw speed will fit the bill.
In any event this close season is going to be short but vital. OTBC
Hi Nick
It was actually an amalgam of the RLS original with a bit of the 1950s/60s TV show *The Adventures of Long John Silver* and Pugwash thrown in for good or bad measure.
The pub in the original was the Spyglass but I can’t remember the name of the one in the TV series. Robert Newton was the Oliver Reed of his day – a terrific actor but rarely sober by all accounts.
Your last line is spot on.
Cheers.
Hi Martin, I’m glad you finished with the excellent Kinks-I was thinking of what the Sex Pistols (when they were rubbish) were looking forward to On The Good Ship Venus.
Let’s hope that the next voyage can be a gentle cruise with a fair wind behind us and that we’re not left floundering in the Doldrums!
Enjoy the break, look forward to the new season and rediscovering food you have to chew.
For anyone who’s curious about Don’s Sex Pistols reference…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRotvCVKAe8
Hi Don
I never saw the Pistols. Mea culpa – I easily could have done.
But I did see the Rich Kids a couple of times and with Steve New/Stella Nova call he/her what you will on guitar their version of Pretty Vacant was f*cking brilliant.
I remember Matlock yelling from the stage: *yes we can do this cos I wrote it*.
Edward Tudor Pole was no John Lydon although I liked TPT enough to buy both of their albums!
Morning Martin,
Shiver me timbers…that’s the only nautical reference you’ll be getting from me!
Excellent piece to sign off this sorry old season.
I think the decision to ‘go with what we’ve got’ was well intended SW wasn’t going to take the club back to the near financial ruin there was when he took over. I don’t think anyone could have predicted that the group of players that took us up last season would pull up so short of what was required.
On the evidence of the that epic game away at Leeds those players showed everything that I thought they would need in the Premier League. Mental toughness, tactical awareness, technical ability etc. What we have witnessed post lockdown couldn’t be further away from that. Obviously we can’t ignore the unprecedented number of injuries, loss of form of our star striker, the pandemic and the failure of the recruitment (except Sam Byram of course) for why we have failed this season. Would some extra money have got us over the line…maybe. £100m+ might have got us to a final day shoot out for 17th place or mid-table who knows.
Sorry the following is a well worn path for us!!
I guess the obvious focus for fans who are looking for scapegoats is to blame the ownership, me, I’m conflicted on this and I worry that changing can also result in failure because there is not necessarily the quality of investor out there. If you are lucky enough to bag Sheikh Mansour, Srivaddhanaprabha, Fenway Sports, Daniel Levy etc then fine and you can probably look further down the Premier League for examples of clubs where its working at the moment. But just look at the Championship and League 1 for the examples of (once wealthy) clubs many who had/have poor investors:-
Derby, Blackburn, Forest, Swansea, QPR, Sheff W, Stoke?? Middlesbrough, Birmingham, Charlton, Wigan, Hull, Bolton, Sunderland, Ipswich, Portsmouth. It concerns me that we could become one of these!!
What is an established Premier League club – Bounemouth, Watford, Stoke, Swansea?? Not now.
Half a billion quid gets Everton to 11th place. Perhaps we should go and pitch our club to the Saudi’s?
Would it be worth it? Answers on a post card to…….
Cheers
John
There are plenty of investers out there and yes you have to be lucky with who you get so be careful in what you wish for so some people saw.
Wishing for better is everyones dream.
Stagnanting into another Ispshite is or will be a nightmare of great proportions
When as owners you openly admit you can’t afford to keep up with the middle road Jones then you need to put up the for sale signs or at least invite investers
When you own a community comodity such as a football club surely you have to start each and every season with positive comments not with diatribe comments as we are planning for relegation gradually it filters down and the players lose heart and confidence and it saps the energy out of a team that once played for winning at all costs and makes them think it doesn’t matter if we lose.
Many of the title team were entitled to be given a chance to prove themselves in the Premiership but needed help from their owners and provide them with players that had experience at the highest level.
All the so called pundits have lambasted cities players this last season for their preformances but are now saying that they are worth multi millions of £ for city, surely that is counter to everything they have written or it goes to show they really talk out of were the sun never shines.
We have signed 2 players in the last 2 days Soto is going out on loan to a Dutch club how does that help in getting a work permit, and Mumbia is 18 and 5ft 3.5inches tall I hope he has a growth spurt or we will have a small defence.
Mumba is NOT 5 foot 3 inches! Don’t believe everything you read, except for this comment obviously! The work permit issue for Soto involves him getting caps for USA. Whilst on loan he may achieve that then becomes eligible for the Fine City.
This was covered in the Pink Un when he first agreed to join earlier in 2020.
The Sunderland WWW says Mumba is 163cm and Wiki agrees they have even up dated his club as Norwich
Soccer wiki has him at 176cm! The 163cm comes from fifa20. Anyone got a tape measure?
Spot on with Seb Soto.
From what little I can glean Bali Muamba would seem to be about 5’8″ which is more or less in Max Aarons territory.
Not ideal but it never hindered Mark Bowen 🙂
Some good points but we’re some way from stagnating into Ipswich.
I think my wider point is football tends to attract the wrong type investor and just as you need quality on the pitch you also need quality investors and I contest they are more difficult to find. Chasing the dream Is a gamble and is it worth it?
I totally agree with your penultimate paragraph, I’ve said elsewhere, many say we need to improve our defense, ironically, our current defense is worth in the order of £50-60m so what would we need to spend to improve it?!!
Hi again Alex [it’s hard for me to identify individual comments today!]
I think the defensive problem is exacerbated by the 4-2-3-1 system wherein both Max and Jamal are constantly bombing on. Okay Jamal checks back a lot and slows everything down but the PL press is relentless with most sides.
When both LB&RB are caught upfield by a swift counter it’s a recipe for calamity as we have seen.
Maybe we’ll get away with this approach once more in the Championship?
Hi John DF
Quite a few Johns around today so don’t blame me for being a bit formal!
All I can really do is agree with you and give you an MFW gold star for correctly spelling the name of the Thai family at Leicester. At least I presume it’s correct – it’s a long old word to get wrong but I didn’t bother to check!
The Pozzo clan at Watford appear to be toxic and reports today suggest Troy Deeney has had enough – and with all that guy has been through in his life he must be worth listening to.
Wigan’s situation is truly disgusting and while I want to see the back of the Smiths for more reasons than I might put out on MFW they would not let that happen to us even if only because it would not be in their personal interests. The two are irrevocably interlinked.
I really feel desperately sorry for supporters of Wigan and Bury and I’ll add Sunderland to that list. Binners? Couldn’t give a rat’s butt.
Great comment – thanks.
Martin,
As for the Leicester owner I’ll have to ‘fess up – for someone who only just managed to get a CSE in English at school – copy and paste is a wonderful thing!! 🙂
Cheers
John
Ha!
Yeah C&P is good and if I were using that name I would have done it too. I normally only use it for quotes to ensure they are verbatim but in that case I would definitely have done as you did.
Marty, I’d forgotten about Pugwash and his crew and the only cabin boy’s name I can recall is Kipper but that’s bawdy stuff we sang in pubs of ill repute and singing isn’t allowed these in these strange times. Not that any of us feel like singing. I was born during the war but have no memories of those dangerous and worrying days, and the Cuban crisis with the threat of nuclear war was soon over, but this year with the virus shut down, and likely to return, we needed something to lift us. Instead we got a Canary disaster, and we’re still not sure what to expect next. I prefer to remember the good things in life but the bonfire washout left a deep disappointment, it was the one annual festival that we kids had charge of and the buildup to it went on for weeks. I fear this year’s Canary fiasco will be the same, it seems bigger that the good times. But then maybe I’m just being a MOG and Danny will cheer us up in the coming season.
Hiya Cutty
I empathise because we used to do the “penny for the guy thing” outside Doswell’s newsagents in Chadwell Heath. He didn’t really like us there but Bazza was a paperboy and I did the morning mark-up for him so he let us get away with it.
And where did we buy the fireworks? Doswell’s of course.
As for bawdiness I’m not prepared to go beyond *the third mate’s name was Carter*.
Thanks for the eloquent lines.
Very apt Mr P . all at sea seems to sum up what we have just sailed through. O to have had a few cans of magical Spinach with it’s supposed strength, but sadly lacking in supply, meaning big old Bluto was not to be overcome this time around.
In dry dock for some cosmetic repairs, I would not call it a refit, a few of the fittings which were deemed surplus to requirements were often seen mingling below deck. To be replaced by newer unknown & untried replacements. Of who I wonder who will have been enlisted for basic training for the second crew
I think we can say goodbye to one or two of the seamen who were deemed not so able in the rough & choppy seas. Vrančić, Stiepermann, Leitner, Trybull. While young midshipmen may be assigned to new crews, Godfrey, Aarron, Cantwell & Lewis.
Old sea dogs Klose, Tettey & Pukki may be given one more voyage. Two new crew members had what can only be described as very uncertain and aloof Seaman Rupp didn’t seem to get know his duty, while Seaman recruit Drmic, may be suited to the naval marching band.
During this cosmetic refit, a different tack is needed, recruitment orders, need careful studying and remapping, as the Queen’s Shilling is no longer enough.
One other thought perhaps a change of uniform maker may be more fitting by choosing Admiral
Caution as those in the Admiralty may be having us believe. Even the bad times are Good (Tremeloes). when Time For Truth (The Jam) my be a better bet
Thank you Mr P it must have been a very difficult and frustrating season to sit down and find something different to write, while everything appeared to be the same happening before our eyes.
It is appreciated
Hi Lad
I didn’t think of Popeye at the time although I know he was very upset when Moses went to mount Olive.
Nice musical references btw – for far too many games this season we were Down in the Tube Station at Midnight. The connection between rock and football is permanent. And sure I like the Admiral pun too. Too many erreas from us this season.
Sure it’s been hard for us to write articles since restart – but there’ll be plenty for all of the MFW clan to get our teeth into over the next six weeks.
Thanks as always.
I think the time has come to draw a line under last season and move on. At the very least sell some of our starlets and rebuild but this time with a much more robust and seaworthy vessel. We have been so leaky at the back that £60-80m for Aarons, Godfrey and Lewis would make great business sense and possibly lay the foundation for Norwich to be a club that was far from little but actually a Championship Superpower awash with cash. I think that with the right purchases we could solve our defensive problems whilst attracting young talent who see the club as a stepping-stone to Bayern Munich or elsewhere, and therefore enhance our status by selling. (Certainly I am looking forward to the return friendly there next summer.) And if we can rebuild the side, mount a serious tilt at long-term Premiership status by expanding the ground., then we should do so. The club must be missing out on 5-10 thousand fans each game by having only 27000 capacity so this could be the opportunity to start addressing that as we have been left behind by the expansion of other clubs’ grounds. It would make us a more attractive prospect for investment to help us compete in the top-flight.
Hi Tony
Yes what you say makes good sense to me but I have to take slight issue with you at the very end.
“It would make us a more attractive prospect for investment to help us compete in the top-flight.”
Yeah but no but I’m afraid. We will blatantly refuse offers of investment [if any has thusfar been offered, we’ll never know]. And do they [sorry we] even want to be in the top flight?
Even on an occasional basis?
There’s too many folks out there who want to remain li’l ole Norwich for us to ever make genuine progress – and no I don’t want us to squander millions we don’t have but there surely has to be some kind of middle ground.
Good comment.
I think you are wrong on that – there is no way we will ever be an established premier league club with 27000 capacity stadium. Although they are a basket case now Sunderland moving to a 42000 capacity stadium gave them the resources to compete at a higher level – we should be aiming to have a 35000 capacity stadium and the investment will follow. I think some sensible sales of prospects we cannot keep could allow us to break the yo-yo cycle we have got stuck in. As Peter Reid says in Premier Passions if you stand still you are nowhere. And that is exactly what we have done.
Fair point.
I only have to wind my neck to the left to see that bloody hotel from the Barclay and I must be honest its presence irritates me
But Bournemouth managed five PL years with 11,000 capacity and if like me you’ve been to Brighton’s old Withdean ground I cannot believe what a decent place the Amex is in comparison.
*Stood still* is perhaps a little kind to us – particularly when you consider our loyal, largely captive fanbase. I don’t think there will be too many on the ST waiting list post Covid.
Bournemouth are never going to last – £110000 a week on Callum Wilson and 11000 fans! That’s £10 a week per head! NCFC have the potential to be a 35k+ per week club – and full too. It can be done and I think this is the moment to create that vision.
Another splendid Monday* read Martin, thank you for this and all your efforts to keep us smiling through such a difficult season.
*or in this case Tuesday as we played on Sunday.
I always expected us to be relegated this season, right from day one; some years there have been obvious “basket case” clubs in the division, ready for a fall – Sunderland and Hull for example in recent years – but I couldn’t really see one this year, despite Newcastle’s best efforts.
I felt we needed a good defensive midfielder, better, younger and more athletic than Tettey. Alex is a great guy but he’s a Championship player, which is why whenever we are relegated nobody in the PL appears with a pot of gold. What happened at centre back was very unlucky, but it’s the failure in midfield to win and control the ball that has put all the pressure on us.
The way we conceded possession and goals in games at the end of last season – Sheff Weds and Blackburn for example – always suggested we would struggle against top teams.
(Can’t remember what comments/predictions I posted on here though – good job there’s no search users posts facility! I might just be being wise after the event)
All was not well going into lockdown obviously, with Byram , Zimmerman or Klose out for the rest of the scheduled season. But wins against Bournemouth and Leicester seemed to have given us a chance of building some momentum.. I still don’t think we would have escaped the drop, but we were not going to lose 10 in a row in normal circumstances.
We had a fair bit of luck in 2018/19, none at all this season. Let’s hope the pendulum swings back again.
Hi Keith
Yeah I normally inflict myself on our audience on Mondays but as you suggest I’m always two days after the game so after Gary G’s had his say and the comments come in I don’t have to stick to topic too much as everyone else has done the hard yards for me!
I agree with you – it would be churlish not to. What worries me is the confidence factor. When a squad is as physically fragile as ours and the confidence disappears there is no easy way back. But if I know that so do Webber & Farke so yet again we must wait and see.
The only pre-season prediction I remember making was that we should go with what we had plus three or four proven reinforcements.
Oh well I got half of it right 🙂
How you tied all that nautical nonsense together so neatly I’ll never know, Martin! Really well put together. Hopefully with plenty of player changeover on the cards there should be room for optimism next season, albeit on a reduced scale. No telescope required to view the land we’re headed for.
Hi Chris
I honestly make it up as I go along. Always have always will. If an article takes over 30 minutes I consider I’ve failed myself which is why I love to read the statty stuff from yourself and Dave B.
I really enjoy reading in-depth articles but am not capable of writing one myself.
No telescope required: you’re spot on there.
Sincere thanks.
We’re more like the Titanic. The crew weren’t equipped with the correct gear (binoculars, lifeboats), given the wrong orders, and only the women and children come out unscathed.
Hi Dave
Can’t argue with that. Lloyds rang the Lutine Bell at the exact moment we kicked off against Southampton.
Cheers.
There should have been a documentary made of this season entitled ‘Sold down the River with Smith & Jones’. It would have totally baffled the filmmakers.
Expecting turmoil and chaos with the club weighted at the bottom the league, it showed an increasingly relieved boardroom and fanbase, knowing they would not be playing in the repulsive and disgusting EPL, while taking its money with their completed objective of getting relegated.
Hi IR
At the risk of an accusation of apeing Tim de Lisle or Rob Smyth of Guardian cricket OBO fame I must say: that’s the Post Of The Day.
And there have been some very good ones on this day indeed.
Marty if you’re still on the cricket , Mr Agnew has just informed the world that the fingers gone up .
Make of that what you will.
Bernard, my dear chap…
No I didn’t hear it. I follow on Guardian Live which is one of many reasons why I’ve been a little tardy on the responses today.
But Aggers and innuendo do make a good couple. I miss TMS.
Good stuff as always Mr. P, and thank you for all the brilliant stuff this season.
We were definitely more “Good Ship Lollipop” than any destroyer this past season.
However, how many moaners were there a year ago when all the promotion squad received their new and enhanced Premier League contracts? If we had binned half of them, how many supporters would have said that at the very least they deserved a chance?
Poor loans, unprecedented injuries to centre backs, the total failure of some who I really thought would step-up, plus the unknown Covid really did for us.
Hopefully 2020/21 will bring many more wins, but how will the powers that be decide which of us are able to be there to witness them?
I fear a season of Canary TV or whatever it’s called will follow!
O T B C
John, totally agree with your comment.
Some wise soul once said hindsight is an exact science unfortunately football isn’t!!
Hi John
Yeah I’ve declared a few times on MFW recently that I won’t be going to 25% capacity matches and I mean it. I’ll miss it so much but if things are not back to complete normal by the end of the year I’ll either share my ST with a mate or give up altogether.
After 32 consecutive bleedin’ years.
Yes of course the promoted squad deserved every chance it’s just a shame they weren’t reinforced in a more positive manner.
Thanks for the kind words – appreciated.
Entertaining stuff Martin, unlike the dross we serve up dressed up as football these days!
All the pre match discussion centred around the premier league record 9 goal half by Manchester United and Leicester, and the very real fears that we could surpass that. Thankfully, we didn’t roll over and succumbed to a routine 5 goal mauling which seemed very generous in the circumstances.
Due to the insanely quick turnaround, the show goes on. We now have the customary Flog-along-a-smith fire sale of assets to contend with as the hoi palloi get all moist and teary about a few unknowns coming the other way.
Having performed the trick of allying a vast profit in the transfer market to a promotion season, the Farke/Webber combo now have the opportunity to do it all again. Lucky boys. Should they fail, the Delia express is steaming towards them at gathering speed to deflect the blame from the real problem.
Ten straight defeats, the concession of a mountain of goals and the scoring of barely one or two is a disgraceful record for any club at any level of competition and should not simply be brushed under the carpet without comment or criticism as some would prefer. For gods sake, the club has established new records of crapness this season, historic failure.
Listening to the radio post match, a clapper reduced himself to tears of frustration as he defended the board. Having at first declared he doesn’t care who runs the club, he proceeded to hoist himself by his own petard as he declared with a stammer and a gulp that he would prefer City as a third division club under the smiths to a successful premier league side under someone, indeed anyone else. Pathetic.
Loved the nautical theme by the way, makes me wish we could send our board and owners on a slow boat to china.
Hi Chris
The theme subconsciously emerged from my listening to Tenpole Tudor’s *Let the Four Winds Blow* album at high volume the other day for a bit of nostalgia while everyone else was out.
As for hoi polloi we are not all so easily taken in – as yourself and several others have commented on this very piece.
*New records of crapness*. I like that phrase.
I think I’ve heard approx. 15 minutes of Canary Call all season. Everyone has the right to their opinion [that’s how I was brought up anyway] but that particular radio show pushes the theory to its very limits.
A quick turn around indeed. Feck knows where any confidence for the new season will come from. We can only hope to be favourably surprised.
Thanks as ever.
Haha clever article Martin. Problem with the self funding mantra much loved by Delia and MWJ and articulated by Stuart Webster is that they need to be very lucky on so many fronts for it to come off.
The current recruitment process seems to be that of a scatter gun approach whereby we sign players released by other clubs and loan them out hoping for the best. I am struggling to think of any such signings that finished the Academy process at another club who managed to establish themselves in the first team here. I believe Max Aarons and Jamal Lewis came from the disbanded Luton Academy set up, and therefore could not be said to have been released by from an ongoing youth programme.
The exception to the above is Sam McCallum a proven player in League 1 who we actually paid a reasonably sizeable transfer fee for (by our standards). These are the players much more likely to prove successful, as shown by Maddison and Godfrey.
The self funding model comes with significant demotivating language, the message that “we budgeted to finish 20th”, sends out all the wrong signals. No doubt this was a contributing factor to our coming out of the traps after the lock down in much worse shape than we went into it.
Here’s hoping for some more positive messages going forward.
Hi Mark
I think you’ve got it nailed on there.
Obviously the loaning out of youngsters helps us *pay for their keep* and is quite understandable in its way but so often comes up with no end result whatsoever.
As you say the only genuine *one of our own* recently has been Cantwell but buying in the likes of Godfrey and acquiring Max and Jamal from Luton was shrewd – can’t remember who recruited any of them tbh but I doubt it was Webber/Farke.
It’s a gamble, simple as. But according to Auntie Delia we have no choice.
I’m quite impressed with Sam McCallum from what I’ve seen of him on EFL on Quest and elsewhere. He seems *ready to go* when Jamal is sold off.
Good comment – thanks.