To coin a phrase, “Whoops”.
Unfortunately, the school has experienced the most traumatic year. An Annus Horribilis as terrifying as that of former Chair of Governors Chase, that none of us who have experienced it will ever forget.
Mr Webber and the Board of Governors chose to use this year’s bursary on improving the school infrastructure, and whilst having a shiny building and facilities has been welcome, unfortunately, the quality of our students has remained rather more remedial overall. Whilst they have worked hard, their test scores have declined significantly over the course of the year and by the end, most could barely write their own names on the exam papers, so overwhelmed were they.
In mitigation, we were plagued by absenteeism on a scale not seen before at this school with every boy missing time out of class on more than one occasion. We also had to deal with the unfortunate aftermath of the caretaker’s trip to the Far East that resulted in Cook’s infamous Bat and Pangolin Pie, the results of which closed the entire school for several weeks, and the boys never got back to normal thereafter.
We must, as a school, try to shake off the disappointment of this year and do better next.
Krul, T. [A+]
While all around lost their heads, Krul distinguished himself and was the only one to end the year with his reputation enhanced. He was tested more than any boy in the country and despite the almost insurmountable pressure, he produced outstanding results time and again. Excellent work.
Fahrmann, R. [C-]
Fahrmann came on an exchange visit and had a fine reputation. However, Krul’s incredible test scores kept him very much in the shade and he ended up doing very little during his time here. On the two occasions he was given a chance, he too succumbed to a malady that kept him in sickbay at exactly the wrong time. Sad for him that his time at the school did not go as he had hoped.
McGovern, M. [C+]
Called upon when we were visited by a school in the Midlands and both Krul and Fahrmann were feeling a bit dicky. It was one of our worst tests of the school year but the performance of the other boys was so bad that without McGovern’s hard work we would have fared even worse still. A good solid outing reminded us of McGovern’s positive qualities when called upon.
Aarons, M. [B-]
A young man who will have learned a lot this year from testing at a higher level. He has persevered despite feeling the pressure and his reputation remains largely intact, even if he failed to excite us with any real further progress. More to come? We shall see.
Lewis, J. [B-]
As with Aarons, Lewis did not take a major jump forward, but rather, remained steady and held what he had. If he is to reach his full potential he will need to be a little braver going forward. He is a quick lad and he needs to stretch himself and take on challenges if he is to grow and develop.
Byram, S. [B+]
Our one genuine improvement to the class since last year. Byram produced some impressive results and is a capable and intelligent young man whose versatility and determination won universal praise at the school. At times, a poorly lad, if we can keep him out of sickbay he’ll be a valuable asset next term.
Godfrey, B. [B]
Despite the poor results from Godfrey’s area of the classroom, it is difficult to lay blame at his feet. He has been part of a revolving door of boys struggling to remain healthy and bravely battled away despite carrying an ailment for a long time in order to remain in class, and for that alone, he should be commended. A leader in the class despite his youth, he is a very quick lad who often gets his classmates out of problems. Unfortunately, he can occasionally lose his head and make a silly mistake but in time he will no doubt learn to correct these errors and he has a very promising future indeed.
Klose, T. [B]
Klose is one of our most experienced, and most unlucky, students. He has frequently missed important, prolonged sessions of class time, particularly when we are tested at the highest level, and this year was no exception. Whilst he was able to return for the final stretch of testing, it was clear that he was not up to speed with his classmates and looked rusty. However, his attitude was excellent throughout and he remains a popular member of the class.
Hanley, G. [B+]
Yet another who could not remain in class for an extended period, which was a pity as he proved to be very effective when he did. Despite some shortcomings, Hanley is a mature and committed student who always applies himself diligently to even the hardest of tasks, and that stoicism alone saw him cope with tests that others would have fallen apart on. Some excellent work, we need his leadership again next year.
Zimmermann, C. [B+]
Even the previously indestructible Zimmermann succumbed to the pull of Matron’s sickbay and he was sorely missed. Whilst he struggled with some of the hardest tests at this level, his commitment and leadership are only noticed when he returns and you realize what a commanding presence he has become in class. An organised, no-nonsense individual, he’s much loved and will be more than capable of improving again next year.
Amadou, I. [C+]
Whilst Amadou never reached the heights that were expected when he joined us on a year-long exchange trip, he barely got a chance to impress in his core subject, and instead filled in whilst in his secondary class and did reasonably well. At times inconsistent, he also had some very good moments and will be disappointed his time here did not go as he hoped it would.
Tettey, A. [A]
Tettey is by far our longest-serving pupil. Whilst many have expected him to fail over the years, and various teachers have looked to replace him in class, the fact remains that not only has Tettey seen off every challenge, but he has also actually improved incrementally each year. This year he has been one of our most consistent students and whilst he has not pulled up any trees with his test scores, his reliability has been one of the few beacons of light. He has let nobody down.
Trybull, T. [C]
A lost boy at times, Trybull has struggled to cope with the level of work this year. He’s neat, he’s tidy, and at times he looks impressive. But too often his work has been unsubstantial, weak, and lacking either the forward-thinking required or the solidity to stand-up to critique. Must do better.
McLean, K. [B+]
One of the few boys to have been available for the vast majority of the year, McLean has worked very hard and been called upon to take up a variety of activities in class. Whilst he has made mistakes, he has equally taken on some of the least glamorous work and done it efficiently for the most part. Another for whom the work this year may have been a little too hard but he has given us his best and will have learned much.
Leitner, M. [D+]
I’m afraid Mr. Leitner has become Mr. Leitweight. He has really struggled to match up to the bigger boys and tested Herr Farke’s patience beyond its limits. It would be a surprise to see him return next year, which is a shame as he can be so effective when things are as he likes them.
Vrancic, M. [C]
Can feel a little hard-done-by that he has not been called upon more in class. Vrancic’s style is by nature a little more ponderous and leisurely than is desirable in the hard-nosed world of high-level testing. However we remain fully cognisant of his ability to produce results under pressure and hope he gets to demonstrate it again next year.
Rupp, L. [C-]
Rupp looked completely out of his depth initially when sat out on the far right of the room and was not quick enough or creative enough to work there. He has looked more capable when sitting in the middle of the class and asked to do more simple work and that should probably be where Herr Farke looks to get the best out of him in future. He has tried very hard despite disappointing results.
Roberts, P. [D]
What a huge disappointment. An outstanding reputation, a great warm up in summer school before the year began and then, nothing. Herr Farke clearly decided that Roberts was not what he was looking for and so did not call on him in class and he quickly returned to his home school. In hindsight, one had to wonder how much worse results could have been had he been given a chance though. We’ll never know.
Buendia, E. [A-]
When he’s good he’s very, very good. But he is also capable of disappearing in class, or on occasion, being a silly boy and making poor decisions. What is clear is that he carries an awful lot of expectation in class that he will be the creative one, and it is disappointing that several of his classmates were unable to help out more in this regard. Despite his ups and downs he can be proud of his work this year. I think if he returns to the school next year he will have learned plenty and will once again be a force to be reckoned with.
Hernandez, O. [A]
A year punctuated by spells in sickbay, Hernandez has been inspirational when given the opportunity. Whilst others have shown fear at the higher level of work required, he has thrown himself into it with abandon. His direct approach has been refreshing and whilst his work occasionally lacks an end product, it has asked more questions of the examiners than any other boy this year. He could be invaluable in class next year.
Cantwell, T. [A]
A fringe member of the class last year, Cantwell has matured this term and become an important figure. Whilst his influence is patchy at times, he is capable of some very impressive pieces of work and has gained great results at important times. A breakthrough year, we will see what next year holds.
Stiepermann, M. [B-]
Stiepermann does not possess the most elegant writing in the class. He is not the neatest. He can make mistakes. But in terms of actual results, it has been noticeable that the class has performed better when he has been called upon than when he has not. He does not get the answer correct every time, but he makes his presence felt, and asks questions that other people can’t, or don’t want, to answer. Whilst he may have to work hard to keep his place in class next year, he has talents that are not easily replaceable.
Duda, O. [D]
Whilst Herr Farke has stated that Duda always worked hard and gave his all, his results were some of the least impressive in recent memory. He arrived with a significant reputation and proceeded to produce all the quality and refinement of a sketch on Mrs. Brown’s Boys. At best anonymous, at worst atrocious, Duda will set a benchmark for future pupils as being the low bar they should all be able to get over.
Srbeny, D. [B-]
Another who will feel hard-done-by. Despite having less expectation coming into the year than many of his classmates, he actually performed really well whenever given the opportunity. Understandable that he opted to leave the school in order to further his studies, but given the events that followed it turns out he could have probably ended up getting those opportunities to shine here. A good lad, we wish him well.
Idah, A. [B-]
Because of his age, Idah was not expected to be in with the senior boys this year, but his consistent level of work has seen him given some brief opportunities to impress. The January trip to the Preston Museum of Medieval Defence saw him show us what he was capable of when working with the seniors although he has struggled to reach those heights since. However, he is expected to take a step up next year.
Drmic, J. [C]
Drmic was given very few minutes to shine in class initially but for the first three-quarters of the year, he appeared to robustly grab these chances and looked like he could emerge as an important student. After the unexpected Bat-Pangolin Pie fiasco though, he was a different lad. Slow, ponderous, and uninvolved he cut a tragic figure as the year came to a disappointing close. It is difficult to see where he goes from here but to truly make his mark he needs to find the verve that characterised his brief opportunities before.
Pukki, T. [B-]
At the start of the year, Pukki was the rock star of the class, and indeed, the entire education system. Everything he touched was golden for a month or two. Then he progressively lost his knack. By the end of the year, he was reduced to seeing Herr Farke call on Drmic in class rather than him. It was like the time the PE teacher told Joshua he couldn’t box against Eton and instead he put in Rees-Mogg. That didn’t end well either. Pukki did have to go to sickbay a few times and wasn’t the same after, but I think Pukki’s biggest problem is now in his head. We know what he is capable of. He just needs to rediscover his best work and his confidence before next year.
Thank you all for your support this year. See you in a few weeks. (Chinese animal pies notwithstanding).
martin penney says
Brilliant as always. *Cook’s Bat and Pangolin Pie* literally made me lol.
As for the grades themselves: spot on with one exception.
Is Drmic teacher’s pet? He would have had a ‘D’ from me 🙂
Dear Headmaster, as a former inmate of a very senior university school, I know grade inflation when I see it. As your moderator, I suggest all these grades should be ONE lower if we are to meet national grading norms.
(But amusing as ever.)
Andy W says
Great stuff Andy – one small addition:
Mr Farke found moving up to teach the Sixth Form class a real challenge. He was too reliant on methods which had gained success in the lower forms, and was unable to adapt to the higher level. A spell back in the lower school will be useful, and it is hoped that he can return to the Sixth Form in the near future with more confidence in his pupils’ abilities. He would also benefit from an increase in budget.
Missed out a whole bunch of pupils?
martin penney says
Our star pupil in modern Spanish, the nino Buendia, is a prominent omission along with Hernandez O from the same class.
Perhaps Andy H has a crystal ball and is saying Emi won’t be back for the autumn term. I suspect Onel will though.
Jim Davies says
Buendia is there in the report, with an A- (unless it’s been added after these comments, before I read the report late afternoon).
Herr Cutz says
Andy, like your style but think you are over generous with most of the marking. But no point in berating the lads too much we are going to be relying on many of them next term. Maybe you should do a report on the ‘staff’. Good read.
Richard Garratt says
Master Cantwell’s report seems missing?
martin penney says
As does that of master Rupp but apparently it was difficult to discern if he was ever at school in the first place 🙂
Andy Head says
They’re all in there? Don’t know if there’s been some snaffu but all of them have had the treatment!
Gary Gowers says
The editor screwed up, Andy! There’s an apology above and an email in your inbox (fnar fnar) 🙂
An excellent summary of an under achieved season.
There are possibly 2 or 3 players which will have no future at city but where do we find takers.
Lietner could reinvent himself next season and become the fulcrum as he was previously.
Trybull has the energy for the championship so could be a good backup.
Drmic was a freebie but with a history as a one season wonder scoring lots of goals but with many niggling injuries could he handle the the pressure of the championship I for one don’t think so.
Rupp had a couple of good games but to similar to McLean so was he recruited as his replacement.
Pukki we hear that a Turkish club with no money wants him for a bar of Turkish delight or two, he should stay and prove to everyone that the second half of the season was a hiccup.
Krul got the player of the season as was expected for him outstanding form proved, will he be with us next season, he has said he owes the club for restarting his career and said he will not force a move, I expect he will be gone that statement shouted to anyone interested he wanted out otherwise why make it.
Godfrey, Aaron, Lewis, Cantwell prime fruit ready for the big clubs to pick off, city can say we are in control but are they really, the players agents will be on the phone to see who wants who and telling their clients what’s on offer elsewhere, an unhappy player or two will break the group if one leaves others will follow and will city get mega bucks only time will tell.
Players contract really don’t mean much in sport heads get turned and city will be pressured into selling from the owners, agents, players and buying clubs and it could get worse if city have a bad start and the window open for the first month of the season.
Onwards and upwards
Keep safe and stay well
David Bowers says
As a group we got a straight F. How there are so many passing grades (b’s abs c’s), I’m not sure. I think you’re being too kind.
Andy, you get an A, of course.
Gary Gowers says
Just to say… Messrs Vrancic, Rupp, Roberts, Buendia, Hernandez & Cantwell were all included in Headteacher’s Andy’s initial draft report. Alas, once said draft had been put into the hands of the school’s comms team, one incompetent individual incredulously found a way of erasing part of the prose. Said buffoon has been suitably admonished and the text restored.
Sorry Mr Head 😔
martin penney says
🙂 🙂 🙂
Stewart Lewis says
Hard to disagree with many of the marks, and a fine depiction of the context for the school year.
That said, marking was surely made difficult by the massively intensified curriculum this year and the school being re-categorised into a far superior comparison group.
For talented but inexperienced pupils such as Aarons M and Lewis J, this was hugely testing. At times they struggled, but they also showed some impressive adaptation to the new demands. I’d have given them Bs rather than B-.
Bernie Owen says
Any chance you can do a reprise of the school staff and governors. Please .
Well the Pinkun are reporting tonight that Drmic is in talks with city about his future and has 2 years still on his contract so he doesn’t see it at cities school of excellence if he can move on to bigger and better things and also said he needed more game time to prove how much he couldn’t have helped the club.
Colin B says
A more than fair report. It would be interesting to see the grades for the first two terms and the grades for the last term. Matron seemed to have left the team with a malaise that got worse as the final term unfolded. Given we had some unwanted records as the worse school year ever for our own school and in the Higher Education system as a whole was the marking based on the first two terms only or on teachers’ forecast grades.
We looked a capable school early in the first term when we took on the City Academy, Manchester and also Magpie Academy, Newcastle. We went downhill from there so was the quality of the teaching at fault. Do the headmaster and his staff need a period of Inservice Training to enable them to prepare for 5he next school year.
Stay safe one and all.