TV interviews with football professionals these days are beyond dull. Since the fine folk of football discovered the tedious art of not only saying nothing controversial but saying nothing at all, the average post-match TV interview has about as much flair and character as mashed swede.
Fortunately, we still have the past to enlighten and entertain, so here’s a quick quiz…
The following are football manager quotes by two gobby legends and a genius. All you have to do is guess which manager said them: Brian Clough, José Mourinho, or Canary legend John Bond?
Have you got the minerals?
(Answers at the bottom)
1. ‘It only takes a second to score a goal.’
2. ‘I wouldn’t say I was the best manager in the league, but I’m definitely in the top one.’
3. ‘I’m European champion and I think I’m a special one.’
4. ‘I’m a bit of an idealist, I do believe in fairies, and that is my outlook.’
5. ‘Magic!’
6. ‘I’m sure the England selectors thought if they took me on and gave me the job, I’d want to run the show. They were shrewd because that’s exactly what I would’ve done.’
7. ‘We have top players and, sorry if it sounds arrogant, we have a top manager.’
8. ‘If a player disagreed with me, I’d take him aside and ask him which way that he thought it should be done. We’d talk about it for 20 minutes, then decide I was right.’
9. ‘If they made a film of my life they should get George Clooney to play me. He’s a fantastic actor and my wife thinks he would be ideal.’
10. ‘They say Rome wasn’t built in a day, but I wasn’t on that particular job.’
A brief ripple of applause for the past please. Sometimes just one word is enough. (Probably not the one you’re thinking!)
Onwards and upward.
OTBC
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Answers:
1, 2, 4, 6, 8, & 10 – Brian Clough
3, 7, & 9 : José Mourinho
5 : John Bond
Nice one Chris!
The only one I didn’t get was Bondy’s, ironically. I thought it was Cloughie and the John Bond quotes were a red herring throughout!
I had 4&5 as Bond quotes and the rest I got right.
There were some very well known Cloughie quotes there and a few Mourinho ones. The only one I wasn’t sure about was Magic! The 1970s and 1980s were a great era for sound bites. There were some brilliant commentators as well. Remember Coleman-balls, such as the pole vault is coming over the satellite.
The characters were far more colourful in those days.
My favourite David Coleman one [immortalised in Private Eye’s first ColemanBalls column] was *the big Russian opened his legs and really showed his class*.
Murray Walker? Haven’t got the time 🙂
Or indeed, “The batsman’s Holding the bowler’s Willey!”
The missing comma never fails to raise a laugh!
That one was dear old Jonners on Test Match Special. You’re right, the best unintentional faux pas ever.
There could be a YouTube clip of it somewhere – I’m not sure.