Headteacher’s Report: Andy H delivers his halfway appraisal of the Class of 2021-22

Tis now the bleakest of mid-winters. Whilst our school has time and again proven to be outstanding at the comprehensive level, we remain unable to compete against the Super-Rich Ivy League academies and we are currently halfway through another Annus Horribilis.

Herr Farke did his best to get the class producing results but was found wanting. The new Dean has arrived and inherited what can only be described as a holy mess, with the school quite rightly a laughing stock. There have been a string of organisational errors that have contributed to the current abysmal test results, but unfortunately, the boys also have to take some responsibility as well.

Krul, T. [C-]

One of the few who has proven capable of working at this level. Whilst he too has made errors, he has also been instrumental in the few positive moments this year. As close to reliable as this class gets.

Gunn, A. [D-]

Has had to be patient and wait for the chance to represent the school and has not covered himself in glory, unfortunately. Needs to reach greater levels than he has yet shown to be capable of if he is to have any hope of maintaining his current place in the class.

Aarons, M. [D+]

Such a promising undergraduate, Aarons star has waned in recent times. His development has rather plateaued and whilst he works hard, his end product has become adequate at best. He remains an example of how to behave both in and out of class however and it is important at times like these, not to forget his exemplary past behaviour.

Mumba, B. [Ungraded]

Only briefly seen in class when he was called to make up the numbers in the hardest of tests and unsurprisingly failed to do well. He will have more opportunities to show what he can do in the future in far more accessible environments.

Byram, S. [C-]

Has made his first tentative steps out of sickbay after a prolonged enforced absence. Whilst he has yet to be part of anything tangibly impressive, his very presence and determination to return to class may be the only moment of inspiration we see this year.

Giannoulis, D. [C-]

Peripatetic output with some truly dreadful moments, especially on the Autumn Term trip to Manchester, juxtaposed with some of the most impressive test scores in the class at other times. If Giannoulis could eliminate some of his more naive errors, he could end up being a key member of the class.

Williams, B. [D+]

Another for whom inconsistency has diluted some genuinely impressive test scores by making schoolboy mistakes that have cost the class dearly at times. Williams’ biggest development need at this school pertains to his decision-making. He has all the physical tools to be comfortable at the highest level but he has to make better choices if he’s going to fulfill his potential.

Gibson, B. [D]

An honest trier, like a lot of the class he’s looked short of the ability required to succeed at this level. Attitude is very good, and Gibson will happily do whatever is asked of him, but his quickness of mind and deed does not always meet the high standards that he sets himself. Whilst he throws himself into tests he’s barely keeping up with the basic standards, albeit that raises him above the level of many of his classmates.

Hanley, G. [C-]

The head boy has had his moments of anguish, like everybody else this year, but generally, he has set decent standards in and out of class. One of those that you know genuinely cares and will fight for his class, his current absence is felt deeply.

Kabak, O. [D-]

Kabak is fascinating to watch and if the class was performing much better and without so much pressure to eliminate errors he would be afforded more time and room to improve. However, his creative, wandering mindset is not always helpful to a class under pressure to improve test scores immediately. He remains a work in progress.

Omobamidele, A. [B]

Has actually produced better results than can have been expected from him this year. A very mature young man for one so young, his development has been impressive. He has displayed admirable composure and it is a shame that untimely trips to Matron’s sickbay have interrupted his opportunities for further development. A rare pat on the back for a student this year.

Sorensen, J. [C-]

A forgotten boy at one stage, he has once more found his way back to the class and his calm, determined nature has once again seen his popularity rise. Never going to produce stellar test scores but does a lot of things well and never lets the class down.

Normann, M. [B+]

A prolonged stay in sickbay has robbed the class of its best student this year. Normann has shown a refreshing refusal to kowtow to the elites that dominate the Ivy League and has gone about his business with a bullishness that demands respect. If we had three more Normanns the class would be a very very different place right now.

Gilmour, B. [E-]

I feel sorry for Gilmour in many ways as he gathered a reputation at his Alma Mater that has yet to be proven over any length of time. So much was expected that it was almost inevitable that he would struggle to reach the levels many demanded. As such his confidence appears to be extremely low, and his work has suffered greatly as a result. The environment at this school is in danger of becoming toxic for Gilmour, which is a great shame as he does always try his best. Much of the anger at his poor performances is actually misdirected anger in rebutting the ludicrous bravado of his Alma Mater alumni assuring us that he is actually doing much better than anyone with any level of knowledge and judgement will concur with.

McLean, K. [D]

I have championed McLean on many occasions but I struggle at this point. The positive aspect is that he remains a committed member of the class who cares about his individual test scores and those of the team. The negative is that too often he has failed to make any impact on events in class and things have happened around him while he has looked on observing. He continues to look ill at ease in this environment and mentally he may have hit a glass ceiling that he is unable to break through.

Rupp, L. [D+]

Has actually shown that he can complete the simplest tests well, with an efficient, uncomplicated style that works for him. When there is the need for more complex or creative problem-solving, his lack of ingenuity or speed of action becomes all-too apparent however and we see the limitations of Rupp.

Lees-Melou, P. [E+]

Has yet to produce anything to suggest that adds anything to the class. Six months on I am unable to tell you of any areas that Lees-Melou excels in. I don’t think he’s lazy but I’m yet to see any abundance of effort, and in terms of technical skills, he seems to be rather doddery and unable to keep up with those around him, let alone keep up with students from bigger schools. Tends to ghost his way through the school day.

Dowell, K. [E]

Both Herr Farke and The Dean have been reluctant to call on Dowell in class, and his few opportunities have shown that to be a justifiable stance as he hasn’t been able to provide a single answer. In a unique position in that nobody else works in quite the creative area that he does, and yet when he has had the chance to showcase his abilities he has made a succession of errors. Needs to show a lot more.

Cantwell, T. [F]

The most creative talent at the school and yet when we are crying out for someone to produce some creative work he is nowhere to be seen. Both Herr Farke and the Dean have found it impossible to find a place for him in class, and his continued absence becomes stranger by the day. A shining light of the school, he has faded into obscurity. On the rare occasions he has made it to class, he fails to join in with his classmates and tends to play around on his own, trying to show off, before inevitably making mistakes and looking silly until the teacher has been forced to remove him from class. No plausible reason has been provided as to why Cantwell is no longer able to work effectively but he has almost ceased to be a viable student. Sad and infuriating waste of undoubted ability.

Rashica, M. [C]

Took some time to settle into his new school but was just starting to show signs of finding his feet and working at a good level when injury maddeningly forced him out of class and into sick bay. Originally expected to take on some of the work previously done by Buendia, he is actually much closer to Hernandez in terms of what he is good at doing, and in time he will likely be better than his predecessor. He cannot be expected to have the answers to all the questions in class right now but his return to class is eagerly anticipated.

Tzolis, C. [E+]

Whilst he has done nothing wrong, Tzolis looks unprepared for this level of academia. A lot has been made of his promise but that does nothing for the class now. While he may end up looking capable back at comprehensive level, the mountains Mr Webber had to move to bring him to the school are not consistent with acquiring a student who isn’t capable of providing anything after six months at the school.

Placheta, P. [C-]

Whilst never really called on in class by Herr Farke, the Dean has utilised Placheta’s talents. Whilst his end product remains lacking, he has at least provided a refreshing hunger to attempt the work, even though we all suspect it may be a little bit beyond him. Kudos for being an honest trier though.

Sargent, J. [E-]

Honest as the day is long but severely limited in ability. Whilst effort is greatly appreciated and he has on occasion heartened the class and allowed them to produce better collectively, almost every individual test has been failed. Sargent is simply trying to learn at a level that is above him.

Idah, A. [E]

Has been handed some big opportunities this year and has never looked remotely capable of taking them. Another who, whilst he has been cursed with that word “potential”, appears unlikely to ever be able to meet the demands of being in the top set.

Pukki, T. [C+]

Whilst far from his best, Pukki has at least been able to show that he can compete at this level. Works his socks off, often entirely alone, and has been one of the few to produce any results. The school has let him down in not providing him the environment to grow fully during his most productive years of schooling.