When I was a young lad we had a mobile library that used to stop on the corner of my street once a fortnight. I came across loads of books there but one that particularly impressed me was a hardback with this guy on the cover throwing fireballs at what seemed to be a selection of the local peasants.
The Glory that was Greece greatly resonated with the impressionable eight-year-old me, not least for its gory illustrations of sacrifices and battles.
I did wonder what those strange Mohican things the warriors wore on their heads were but that didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the tales and mythology was cool by me, although I remember spending a ridiculous amount of time in the glossary learning how to pronounce names such as Agamemnon and Clytemnestra.
One tale that has always stayed with me is that of Sysyphus king of Corinth, whose punishment for being a bit fast and loose with the truth was to push a huge boulder up a mountain in deepest Hades, only to lose control at the summit and be forced to do it all again the next day, for all eternity.
It was not clever to upset papa Zeus in those days and you were not supposed to cheat death [twice!] as poor old Syssy discovered at close quarters.
I think that poor devil from ancient Greek mythology would have understood the lot of the MFW writer who is charged to write a comment piece after a game involving Norwich City under Dean Smith.
Originality is at a premium in these cases so I thought this time around I’d take a look at what Deano and his Luton Town counterpart Rob Edwards suggested might happen before the match rather than after.
Smith concentrated on his love of digesting statistics, saying:
“Always look at the context of the game, and that’s for each individual game. But the fact of the matter is that in terms of xG [expected goals], whatever context you want to look at it [in], we’re ranked second in the league.
“I looked at the numbers of the players after the (Blackburn) game, and their numbers are up this season in terms of high-speed running, the number of sprints. They’re doing what we want, in terms of physical load. They’re better than they were last season. You can’t deny the players are working hard.”
Meanwhile, the new kid on the Kenilworth Road block was more traditional and quite possibly intelligible in his pre-match comments:
“We will concentrate on ourselves and especially when we’re here at Kenilworth Road. We want to make it a really difficult place for anyone to come, we want everyone to feel that vulnerability when our fans are in full voice and we’re hopefully playing an aggressive style of football. We want to make it difficult for any team that comes here, and Norwich will be no different.
“We will respect them, of course we will, because they have good players and they’re a good team. But we’re going to have a right good go and we’re really looking forward to it.”
Fast forward a few days and Luton become the first team to do the double over us this season, even though at 1-1 they were reduced to 10 men with as many minutes of normal time to play.
I guess we’re still a great side in Deano’s statistic-loving mind. Unbelievably we are still in fifth spot, although the table is so compressed we could easily be in 12th.
And the idiosyncrasies on display!
A “three at the back” system for the first time in a long time. It didn’t really work, although Max Aarons did seem to get forward a little bit more than of late.
Gabriel Sara off at the break with Adam Idah coming on. Oh well, if you can’t really get two central strikers to gel together, why not add a third to the mix?
As my Posse colleague, Alex B said at the time, even when Luton were reduced to 10 men they still looked a bigger threat than us with 11. Looked? They proved it with Cawley Woodrow’s late goal, which was a true striker’s finish that the excellent Angus Gunn stood no chance with whatsoever.
I think that is the second match in a row now that has ended in defeat with Gunn unarguably man of the match.
The travelling contingent [the figure I saw was just over 1,000 which is some turnout for a Boxing Day game] appearing to sing “it’s not our fault”.
Smith slouching off at the end with nary a glance for the most loyal of our diehard supporters.
However, my favourite little vignette was captured purely coincidentally by the Sky cameras.
They zoomed in on this bloke dressed as a Canary Santa. I think he was dressed as that anyway – anybody who recalls the image will know what I mean!
And in the background is a guy sporting a “Farke’s on a Horse” scarf for all to see.
I’ll go through the motions and say what will not happen between now and Thursday against Reading at a surely toxic Carrow Road on Friday night.
Dean Smith will not resign, Dean Smith will not be dismissed, Stuart Webber will say nothing and Delia Smith will say even less still.
Oh, and neither Mark nor Mike Attanasio will say anything either.
But let’s look on the bright side.
Phil Gray from NCFC Marketing tells me my On The Wall City brick should be installed some time in January.
Yay!
*** As a fervent Floyd fan I am aware that Rick Wright composed the track Sysyphus which he performed on Ummagumma, but I’m not including it here as it’s 12 minutes of what are basically noodlings.
Anybody disappointed with my decision can always listen to Dean Smith’s pre Reading press conference as a consolation prize.
Picture this, the Carrow Road boardroom, a meeting called by Delia,
The table laden with sumptuous nibbles, the gavel knocks and silence falls.
Crisis , what crisis, Tom pass the claret it goes well with a smoked salmon volouvant.
Hi Bernie
The gavel fell but not in the way we expected it to!
Cheers
Dean Smith referring to statistics reminds me of the Benjamin Disraeli quote:
“Lies, damned lies and statistics!”
Yes and reputedly Churchill once said “the only statistics I believe are the ones I’ve doctored myself”.
I thought that was Boris
Now, now 🙂
Hi Michael
Sounds about right for the man.
Cheers
Hi John
All these years and I never knew that quote was from Disraeli!
Cheers
I was surprised when I found out.
Hi Martin all very grim mate a total refresh is needed so stale has it got but don’t hold your breath .I also lived rural as young lad and we also had mobile library van one day mum asked where my younger brother had gone said I didn’t know turns out he went into said van hid under the counter and went on a jolly for a couple of hours until he was noticed mum had no hair left after this still makes me smile when I think about it more then our team does in present times happy new year mate 😊
Hi Kev
HNY to you too – looks like all us Yellows got our present early!
Cheers
Brilliant as always Martin.
What’s the point of having the highest number of shots if the vast majority are nearer the corner flag than the goal…..and he had the blatant cheek to claim that the players are now fitter than they were before he arrived.
Since we. the fans, are already to blame for relegation and this seasons disaster, we’ll also get the blame for the club being in deep doo doo because of a lack of season ticket renewals if Smudger remains.
One of the above may be true…
O T B C
Hi John
I’m proud to take my fair share of the blame for what’s just happened 🙂
Cheers
For heavens sake get rid of Smith now, it’s inevitably this is going to happen, so do it now & not in 3 weeks time. The club the board are a laughing stock, so don’t dilly dally, get on & do the right thing for our club ! The arrogance & amateurism of those at the top is pathetic. Get rid also Hanley Gibson , useless, must have given at least 12 points away with their pathetic defending. School boys can defend better. Hopefully hear something positive by the day end, oh just saw a pig fly over lol! Glen.
Hi Glen
Half of MFW saw the same pig as you!
Cheers
A tweet by Charlie Wyett has just altered what I was going to write. I hope he’s correct
Hi Don
It’s all looking good at my end 🙂
Cheers
Hi Martin
As I said in a comment earlier Steven Warnock praised Howe at Newcastle took under preforming players and gave them their belief back, Smith and Shakespeare have drained that completely out of this squad.
Zimmermann said he loves a rocking Carrow Rd and the players enjoyed after match celebrations going to each corner of the ground to show appreciation for their backing and Farke joined in and encouraged it saying it’s a natural responce for them.
Sadly I’ve not seem the players doing that this season a few claps as they emerge from the tunnel then nothing, Smith doesn’t even try to engender any cohesion between the team and supports, the coaching staff never acknowledge them home or away, you could stick cardboard cutouts in the technical area and get more reaction with the wind making them sway.
The picture on Twitter of the coaching staff walking of the pitch in a close huddle last night was very apt heads down with the City supporters chanting and the Luton ones joining in for good measure.
Football wise we showed for a few minutes what city can achieve and what a finish to round it off from Pukki.
Smith has a new stick to throw at the players after the last 2 games “We gave away 2 sloppy Goals” is that just true, No one tried to block the first leaving it to a stranded Gunn, and 5 mins of tippy tappy outside our own box led to their winner couldn’t anyone boot it out of play to easy the pressure??
Idah replaces Sara, Sargent drops into the hole between Idah and Pukki surely that should have been Pukki slotting into the hole ??
Hernandez replaces Giannoulis so no left back again Gibson should have gone, Hayden for Gibbs why keep underperforming McLean on ??
Team selection seems more like pot luck on a bingo stall just see what numbers drop out of the machine.
Smith says he will fight on as the decision to goes isn’t his to make ! He says he’s intelligent well use you braincells and resign but you will not do that as you wany loads of money in compensation for being a failure again.
Hi Alex
It looks like we ain’t gotta worry about the Dean Smith problem no more!
Cheers
“Dean Smith will not be dismissed”,
I’VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO BE WRONG ON MFW!
🙂 🙂 🙂
VINTAGE Canary
The saga of the year ends
With the anti hero falling on his sword. About blinking time.
No time to waste
If that other spaner in the works gets his finger out
And hot wires
SEBASTIAN HOENEB to get his bag packed .and hop on the next plane from Munich.
Hi Keith
When it comes to Sagas I think I’d rather try and read Beowulf in the original Norse than go through another 12 months like this one!
Cheers
And so say all (or at least most!!) of us.
O T B C