I haven’t been as disappointed in a group of boys as this since Mr Roeder and Mr Gunn took us on an excursion to the underworld in 2009.
I’m writing this year’s report an hour after the end of the school year, so keen am I to see an end to this wretched year. So with that in mind, let’s begin.
Krul, T. ( D- )
Unfortunately for Krul, while he remains a master of his craft in many areas, he has been unable to keep up with the latest developments and perform technically as many of his peers do. He will undoubtedly be moving on to pastures new this summer after providing sterling service for many years. Fond memories of a star pupil.
Gunn, A. ( A- )
Not much more could have been expected from Gunn at the start of the year. Not only did he step up to become a mainstay of the class, but he was also arguably the star pupil. Indeed, without some of his test performances, the whole class would have collapsed on several occasions (at least to a greater extent than they actually did).
Aarons, M. ( C )
At this level, with his pedigree, Aarons should be dominant, but he has suffered along with the rest of the class with poor teaching and planning failing to get the best out of him. If, as expected, Aarons leaves us this summer, we will have fond memories and a sense of guilt that we were unable to regularly to provide an education that his talents deserved.
Byram, S. ( C- )
A very capable boy when able to join the class, he has spent the last four years almost exclusively in sick bay with Matron. He departs with our best wishes and permanent visitation rights to treatment bed number 4, which will surely miss him the most.
Giannoulis, D. ( D- )
While he had issues with absence in the early term, Giannoulis was given frequent opportunities in class later on to demonstrate his abilities. However, every positive performance would seemingly be followed by an error-strewn mess when he was next tested, and both Mr Smith and Herr Wagner would regularly remove Giannoulis from tests when he was found wanting. A huge disappointment.
McCallum, S. ( E+ )
See above but slightly worse.
Gibson, B. ( E )
So many mistakes, so little time. Feels like Gibson has aged rapidly in the past year and his reaction times to situations are more akin to an octogenarian than the young man he actually is. Has shown glimpses of his former abilities on rare occasions, but all too often he has been an accident waiting to happen.
Hanley, G. ( D+ )
Another whose confidence has drained away and he looks a pale shadow of the powerful leader we know he can be. Like Krul, he appears to be struggling to apply new techniques and methods and looks increasingly uncomfortable and unable to develop.
Omobamidele, A. ( C- )
Probably the pick of those in his area simply by virtue of making slightly less obvious errors, but make no mistake, this year has been a backward step for a promising boy. Some early good performances eventually dwindled to the same tepid, nervy displays as those around him.
Sorensen, J. ( C- )
When allowed to take on his favourite subjects he actually performed reasonably well this year. Unfortunately, due to Director Webber’s poor planning, he has had to fill-in in areas he struggles much more in and has looked all at sea at times. His affable willingness to help out wherever asked is admirable, but too much has been placed upon his shoulders in this regard this year.
Hayden, I. ( F )
While illness and injury may have been a major factor in Hayden’s failure to perform this season, it has to be said that for a student who arrived with such a huge reputation, his performances in class have been as insubstantial as Cook’s soufflé surprise. I couldn’t name one memorable contribution Hayden has made this year. It has been a waste of his time and ours.
McLean, K. ( C+)
There have been times this year when McLean has appeared to be the only boy to have understood what Herr Wagner was attempting to teach. But for every good moment, unfortunately, a bad moment and a potentially costly error were waiting just around the corner. He will undoubtedly form part of Herr Wagner’s plans for next year. Let us hope that he has others around him who can help him have more good moments than bad.
Sara, G. ( B )
Took a long time for Sara to adapt to his new school, but he has at least produced some memorable moments and a smattering of creativity, which has been sorely lacking in his classmates. He needs better support next year if he remains, as he has looked uncomfortable when forced to try and do too much to make up for his classmates’ lack thereof.
Nunez, M. ( C- )
A textbook study of inconsistency, Nunez has been sublime on occasion, and woeful in others. Clearly, there is a talented lad there, but Herr Wagner in particular seems unsure how to harness that ability and where Nunez fits into his plans (if at all). A lovely lad, and we all hope he finds his best form next year.
Gibbs, L. ( C )
A promising debut year, Gibbs has suffered from being called upon more often than would be ideal or expected at the start of the year, and in situations he was not always equipped enough to handle. A hard worker, he has always given his all, although he can get overwhelmed at times.
Dowell, K. ( C+ )
Flashes of quality but little more. Dowell has talent but this is not always married to consistency. While Herr Wagner was able to get some good work from him initially, he ended the year in sick bay, and will not be returning next year. A sad end at the school for a promising lad.
Hernandez, O. ( B+ )
Hernandez’s direct, bullish method has proved a refreshing tonic to his classmates’ timid faffing around and he has been the one student to consistently attempt to find creative solutions. That he has not always been able to do so is part of the conundrum of Hernandez himself, but in a more effective class, I believe he would have had his best-ever year of results at the school.
Tzolis, C. ( E- )
I still remember when Director Webber indicated that this lad’s talents were almost unmatched on the continent and he moved heaven and earth to bring him to the school. One has to wonder whether he was looking at the right boy. There must be a wunderkind still hanging around in Greece while his fun-size lookalike best mate plods around our school picking his nose.
Marquinhos. ( F )
Another lad with a big reputation but zero productivity. Every involvement in class seemed to end up with him going backward another step. The dampest of squibs, unfortunately.
Ramsay, A. ( Ungraded )
Despicable little runt.
Sargent, J. ( B )
Inconsistent again. Some very promising moments where he appeared to have found his level and was almost carrying the class at one stage, but despite spending significantly more time in his preferred subjects this year, his contribution, particularly in the latter two terms, has been lacking by comparison to an outstanding first. He has looked tired and some lessons have just passed him by. He has remained a hard worker though and popular with all.
Idah, A. ( F )
This has been the first year where Idah has had a clear chance to stake his claim as the main man in class, yet he has repeatedly failed to take advantage of that opportunity. His clumsy, indelicate attempts at tests have left observers frustrated, and the decision by Director Webber to reward him with an additional scholarship of five years based on no evidence of improvement or even capability has been widely criticised. If Idah is judged to be the future of this school, I for one have to raise questions of those who judge.
Pukki, T. ( C )
Even the best student is only as capable as the resources provided to him, and while other students of Pukki’s proven quality in similar schools are given things like iPads to assist their learning, Director Webber has, for the last two years, given Pukki the equivalent of a broken pencil to work with. And not even a half-decent one with a rubber on the end. An ignominious end to a magnificent school career.
Mr Smith. ( F )
While achieving decent results for a short period, the class did so with all the convincing enjoyment of Michael Fabricant’s hair stylist. Mr Smith began the process of draining the student’s confidence and stifling creativity, which was why he was relieved from the class in December. He appears to have now joined the likes of Mr Allardyce, Mr Bruce and Mr Pulis in becoming a substitute teacher, in his case in Leicester, coming in at the end of term when all other hopeful options have been explored, and trying to guide an unfortunate class through the toughest exams. Good luck with that.
Herr Wagner. ( F )
While he initially appeared to be a breath of positive fresh air, Herr Wagner went stale to the extent that the end of the year can only be described as rancid for all concerned. The final results were pitiful, and while he may have Director Webber convinced of his teaching abilities, the rest of us are far less convinced. He is lucky to be at a school that happily tolerates failure for prolonged periods as long as you’re a nice person.
Director Webber. ( F )
Unlike the aforementioned teachers, Director Webber does actually have some recent success on his CV. However, having earned the accolades and rewards of these successes, he has subsequently made poor choice after poor choice, and the last two years have been a disaster for the school as a result. Poorly prepared in terms of students in key areas, the wrong equipment given to teachers, and the choice to give Idah a five-year-scholarship are all indicative of someone not doing their job properly, and perhaps someone who mentally checked out in 2021.
It would be nice to go into the next school year with some optimism but that looks a long way off at the moment, and reliant on a level of hard work and competence that I’m not convinced we possess at the school at this point in time.
Have a good summer.
Jane Markland says
I completely forgot we had this to look forward to. Absolute class. Thank you Andy.
Paul frewer says
Well thought out appraisal of many especially A Ramsay.😀
Bernard Owen says
Yep Andy nailed him perfectly. A dispicable little runt.
🤣 cruel. And true.
Excellent work deserving of a gold star. Some good laughs too.
martin penney says
I wasn’t expecting this for a while yet so what a pleasant surprise it was to read it kind of early doors.
I’ve heard quite a few people referring to Ramsey [A] as a runt this season.
It really is time I got myself a hearing test.
Thanks, Andy – always a treat.
Tim Ball says
Satire at its best Andy 💚💛😂
The only ones I would have slightly higher, Kenny, Max and Grant but otherwise a perfect round up of our season.