Martin Penney

To some citizens of the UK, Mallorca is synonymous with riotous young Brits enjoying their first holiday abroad without Mum and Dad. In the very antithesis of “style”, they rise at noon before indulging in a full British breakfast and then lounging by the hotel pool or maybe even the beach if they can stagger […]

Growing up on the edges of London’s East End, the Underground, or Tube as we indigenes would refer to it, was like a magic carpet for teenagers across the capital and those who lived in the SE boroughs where the supporters of Charlton and Millwall lurk were the unlucky ones as they were forced to […]

Has your memory foam mattress forgotten you? Will your willow no longer weep? Or maybe your Mister Muscle has developed atrophy? Or are you, like me, slightly less than excited by the news trickling out from the Norwich City media, both internal and external, this week? While the outside world of journalism has come up with more […]

Last week could end up being buried in the oubliette of the Norwich City archives dungeon with the headstone inscription May 14-20 2023 – the very eventful week in which very little actually happened. It was the week when Stuart Webber finally decided he would speak with the local media once again after spending several months […]

One of what I would guess to be the few things Paul Lambert and Daniel Farke had in common is that when it came to identifying and landing transfer targets while at the helm of HMS Canary, they both had a wonderful ability to make the best out of what often, on paper at least, seemed to […]

“We know [it] is not the finish you [the fans] wanted, but rest assured we will do everything we can over the summer to make the necessary improvements. “We’ll sit down and reflect. We’ll get our head around and adapt, get some ideas on board. I want every player to know what I expect for […]

“I don‘t know how City will fare today but that old feeling of Saturday dread has returned. My mindset now is that of only two more games to endure and then I can relax and look to other things to brighten my week. “Will a few months away from the Carrow Road fiasco rekindle my […]

“For me, two things are important. The first is that everyone should know – even if not everyone likes to hear it – how much Stuart Webber cares about this football club – there is not one person on the planet who cares more. “The second thing is that it is always easy to finger-point […]

Can you remember a time when you were happy? I mean truly happy with bugger all to worry about in those halcyon days before acquiring children or career-based employment and you felt the world was your crustacean of choice? I’ve only really enjoyed one period like that in my life which turned out to be […]

Nightmare disorder is referred to by doctors as a parasomnia – a type of sleep disorder that involves undesirable experiences that occur while you’re falling asleep, during sleep or when you’re waking up. Nightmares usually occur during the stage of sleep known as rapid eye movement (REM).*** But nowhere is there any mention of it being […]

Some stand elegantly besuited and booted with a look as inscrutable as that of Confucius sipping a squat cup of his favourite 龙井** on a balmy day back when Beijing was just plain old Peking and the Giant Panda was yet to appear in a Disney. Others patrol the technical area in the manner of a would-be whirling […]

What do Easter on terrestrial television and the early holiday period at Norwich City Football Club have in common? More than we might think would be my answer and we must surely start with the small screen in order to gain some perspective. Easter has become the traditional time for BBC #Channel27 to fight with […]

I detested mathematics at school, basically because I didn’t really understand it or [I know, I know] see the purpose of it. I have always been reasonably good at mental arithmetic, my skills honed by spending a final school Easter holiday taking the bets and doing some primitive settling at a bookies in the East […]

As the original Jack of all journalistic trades and master of erm, none, over the last four and a half decades I can safely say that at least one old adage is true: Every Picture Tells a Story.*** Reading swiftly through the red top on Saturday morning my attention was quickly grabbed by the traditional-style photograph […]

The fourth international break of the season is with us and, as ever, fans all over the country will have different hopes of what the period will bring for their clubs and equally for their personal supporting aspirations. Burnley fans might well use the fortnight to add some new apparel to their collection, or in […]

Our older readers will know exactly what a B Movie was/is. It has now gained the title of “straight to video” and both are appropriate articulations of a cheap film with a virtually unknown cast, no penny knowingly overspent on scenery and “on location” entailing a short trip to Martha’s Vineyard or Brighton beach depending […]

It’s a fine old line to tread. The difficult one of deciding whether to give credit where it is due to a pretty average side – and promotion rival, in this craziest of EFL seasons – for doing a job on us, or to charge in with all available weaponry and rip our own side […]

I am starting to take this David Wagner geezer just a little bit seriously. Since arriving in early January his record stands at: Played 9: Won 6: Drawn 1: Lost 2: Goals for 19: Goals against 10: GD +9: Points 19. But that record is not the only reason I am ever-warming to our new […]

Correct me if I’m wrong – and I know somebody will if I am – but I’m pretty goddam sure that Norwich City created a record at Carrow Road on Saturday when they comfortably put Cardiff City to the sword, albeit after a stuttering start. Whether it’s an all-inclusive UK footballing record or just an […]

Tuesday night’s 3-1 win over Birmingham will probably only be remembered for one thing and that of course is the thunderb@stard from Marcelino Nunez. You know, the one where John Ruddy remained rooted to the spot as it flew over his shoulder and into the River End net. The worthies in the Regency Security Stand […]