Actually I've been meaning to dump you for ages.
I never really fancied you.
And you're frigid.
However hurt and rejected you feel, there are some things you just shouldn't say at the end of a relationship.
However justified you feel, you're the one who ends up looking small.
Better by far to retain some dignity by smiling and displaying as much magnanimity as you can muster.
By and large, the football world …